It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 November 23

 "Quiet! Quiet, piggy!" - Donald F Trump to a female reporter for Bloomberg News on 11-18-25

"Everybody's doing just what they're told to." - The Clash 

 Petey Kegsbreath finished off his second fifth of Evan Williams White Label Monday morning and ordered the Coast Guard to invade Mexico. They even put up signs declaring their territory! Then they retreated a few hours later claiming Petey was suffering from double vision and misread his maps. But the military continued their build up off the coast of Valenzuela just in case we go to war in order to commandeer their oil reserves under the guise of a War on Drugs. 

Tim Cook did the Steve Miller thing and took the money and ran. He's resigning as the CEO of Apple. 

Secretary of the Treasury Open Casket Scott Bessent confessed to Daisy Duck Maria Bartiromo that we didn't really have any signed trade agreements with China. "Concepts of a plan." Kristi Noem and her sex partner Corey Lewandowski have spent 200 million dollars of Homeland Security money on commercials with a company called Strategy Group. This company is owned by the husband of the chief spokesperson for DHS. These are the ads that show Big Lips Kristi herding livestock with Gil Favor and Rowdy Yates. 

The head of FEMA resigned after only 6 months on the job. He was gone on a hunting trip for 2 days when the floods hit Texas last spring. There are still over 100 people who have never been found, but it's Texas and Governor Hot Wheels Greg Abbott is busy outlawing Muslims.

 On the Drew Barrymore show it was reported that line dancing is experiencing a revival. As a genuine dull person I have never done the boot scootin' boogie. 

Tuesday saw Orange Jesus positively giddy receiving the murderous Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed bin Salman at the White House. Don't forget about the bone sawing dismemberment of Washington Post reporter Jamal Khoshoggi in 2018. When asked about that the adjudicated rapist shouted down the ABC reporter saying "That's a terrible question and you're a terrible person!" The prince made up a story about pledging one trillion dollars in investments. The entire worth of his country is only 1.3 trillion so we will see how that pans out. In return he gets nuclear secrets ( to be sold to China ) , and F-35 fighter jets. And he had a grand dinner with Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, and the rest of the gang. The survivors of Epstein's Rape Island held a press gathering and were introduced by Hubba Hubba Marjorie Traitor Greene. Of course, Marjorie talked for 10 minutes about herself and then said "Who's next?" The next lady who spoke told Trump, in name, "I'm traumatized but I'm not stupid." Trump signed a deal worth 63 billion dollars with the Saudi's for condos and casinos, and then said he had nothing to do with the family business. 

The House and the Senate voted yes to releasing the Jeffrey Epstein files. The House voted 427 to 1. Guess who voted against it? Our favorite pistol whipping fired cop turned MAGA politician Louisiana Clay "Ghost Buses" Higgins!

 Wednesday was the memorial service for war criminal Dick Cheney and neither Trumpty Dumpty nor Smokey Eye Shady Vance were invited. Trump then posted that many more people would attend his funeral and "millions of people are looking forward to it!" I didn't make that up. Bitcoin has lost all it's financial gains for the year. Sorry! 

On Thursday 6 former military members and current Democratic Senators and House members released a video telling soldiers they don't have to follow illegal orders. Trump immediately called for their executions for being traitors. Trump DOJ attorney Lindsey Halligan was caught falsifying her grand jury indictments against former FBI director James Comey, and the Loveless Attorney General Pammy Jo Bondi also lied covering it up. Trust in your government! 

On Friday the Education Department declared that being a registered nurse is no longer a "professional degree." Pammy Jo Bondi charged former presidential advisor John Bolton with 18 counts of releasing government secrets and stealing documents. The same thing Cankles Caligula did. Trump wants Ukraine to surrender to Russia and said the Coast Guard's new boats look like "yachts with lots of guns." Trump took time out from napping to meet with New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani. He told the press they had more in common than not, and again showed that when he's not surrounded by his goons Trump always wimps out. And 8:30 CST Friday night Marjorie Traitor Greene announced her retirement from Congress. Rumor has it with the ending of Steven Cobert's late night show she could launch her "Fuck You Hour with MTG" show. It was also finally reported that JD Vance's motorcade last week in Tennessee struck and critically injured a motorcycle cop. And they didn't stop. Thanks! 

On Saturday Israel and Hamas declared the cease fire was over and it was war as usual! Screw that Nobel Peace Prize, Mushroom Winkie! And the crypto industry officially crashed, much to the chagrin of titans Andrew Tate and Eric "Cementhead " Trump. 

Today it was " Meet The Press " and as usual Kristen Welker telegraphed all her queries. First it was the Corpse Who Talks Scott Bessent. You know this week he said a war with Valenzuela would dramatically lower the price of oil? Flame on! The three I's of our economy are immigration, interest, and inflation. Trump has conquered the first two so prosperity is right around the corner! Energy prices are down, and he had high hopes for health care! I'll be good looking when I grow up, too! The service economy is feeling higher prices, so it's obvious wages are too high. Are we having a recession? If so it's the Democratic shutdown! All because the Dems hate der commisar Donnie. Don't forget the One Big Beautiful Bill! No tax on tips, no tax on overtime, and no tax on billionaires. Plants are opening every week. Europe is helping Russia. Volodymyr Zelenskyy is a turd. The 28 point plan to end the war between Russia and Ukraine was really written by Trump , not Big Daddy Vladdy Putin. Should Democrats be executed for treason? Ask him later. Everything Trump does is cool! Then they put Bessent back into his casket because the sunlight would kill him. 

Next was our New York City mayor and he's a Socialist with a small s. Politics should help people. Frosted blueberry are the best Pop Tarts. New York citizens are concerned about zoning changes, rent, child care, and utilities. Mamdani loves cops and the 35 thousand they have now are enough. He doesn't want the army. He can pay for his economic plans by having a 9 billion dollar tax increase. What rhymes with pie in the sky? Kristen then asked him if he can really implement all of his campaign promises. Can the Kansas City Chiefs win the Super Bowl? Are bears Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods? She then did her usual party trick and asked the same question 3 times. Are you the future of the party? Are you going to be fired, Kristen? 

Finally it was Minnesota Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar. Should Democrats be executed? This isn't a game, and we aren't playing Strat-O-Matic baseball. You can't send in the Army to American cities. Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi will ursurp the release of the Epstein files under the guise of "ongoing investigation." Amy, everybody knows that. Surrender to Russia is not a peace plan and a can of Chef Boy Ar Dee is not a meal. We must extend the Obamacare tax breaks and if not the people will revolt. Just like abortion rights and taxing the rich, huh Amy? Brush my teeth and call me Smiley. 

On Tuesday Frito Lay announced they are introducing snacks without artificial colors. When I heard the phrase "Naked Cheeto" I thought of our Love God President. It disturbed me all day.

 

Someone describe, that primal drive
To consume what's theirs and seek what's mine
I don't believe them
And I don't believe you
I suspect everything you do 

~The Gun Club~ 

 

It's Sunday with Dan | 2024 December 1 (Monday Edition)

"Happy Thanksgiving to all, including to the Radical Left Lunatics who have worked so hard to destroy our Country, but who have miserably failed, and will always fail, because their ideas and policies are so hopelessly bad that the great people of our Nation just gave a landslide victory to those who want to MAGA! " Donnie Trump 11-28-24. 

Late Sunday Uncle Joe Biden did what he said he would never do. No, he didn't go to shop for adult novelties at Ray's Playpen in Kansas City. Instead he pardoned his son Hunter on his impending gun and tax evasion charges. This means Uncle Joe won't spend his final years with his son in the big house. This will no doubt send MAGA into a full tilt Human Torch flame-on frenzy. But we did have the entertainment of the last 4 years of Hunter's harassment. Who can forget the splendor of seeing America's Cupcake Marjorie Traitor Greene holding up a 4 foot tall poster board photo of Hunter's penis for the world to see. You've got to love that tantric sex kitten! 

Last week saw the Soggy Bottom Boy fill out his cabinet nominations. Instead of some stupid practice of using merit or DEI the Bronzed Pumpkin used 4 other forms of criteria: Nepotism, campaign contributors (bribery), those who have sold their soul to his sweaty belly, or people who work for Faux News. The FBI Director will be Kash Patel who was involved in the attempted overturn of the 2020 election and oversaw the January 6th riot. He also produced the since removed propaganda movie " 2000 Mules". It was filled with so many lies that even its distributor, the far right Salem Communications, had to disavow it. Kash has stated on tv he plans to dismantle the bureau. Yay! 

The new Ambassador to France will be Charles Kushner, Jared's father. Charles has only served 2 years in prison for tax evasion but his real crime was much bigger. Charles' brother in law was providing state's evidence against him so dig this. Charles paid a prostitute 25 thousand dollars to seduce said brother in law, make wet monkey love to him in a hotel room, and video taped the whole thing. He then gave the tape to his sister and said if he doesn't zip his lip this will be on the 6 o'clock news. Brilliant! I think I saw something like that with Barbara Bain on "Mission Impossible" years ago. 

The new Surgeon General will be Janette Nesheiwat who is a TV doctor on "Fox and Friends." The new Secretary of the Navy will be Florida investor John Phelan who never served in the military, but instead gave Diaper Donnie 1.7 billion dollars. However, he did play Battleship a lot when he was in grade school. The new self proclaimed Border Czar Tom Homan declared on tv that he will send armed troops into classrooms and grab immigrant students of all ages for incarceration and deportation. He then said that any Democratic governors or mayors who try to stop him will be thrown in jail. Homan comes off like a Frank Rizzo tough guy and dresses like a cosplay GI Joe. 

President Unelected Elon Musk last week posted on X the names of 10 women at the Department of Energy he's going to fire because they interfered with his Tesla car company. He also posted their home addresses and phone numbers. Did you know Tesla's have the highest recall rate per capita of any car in the USA? Did you know Tesla Cybertrucks have an explosion rate rivaling the late lamented Ford Pinto? 

Facebook and Threads owner Mark Zuckerberg flew to Mar-A-Lago last week and Donnie fitted him for a dog collar and a leash. Ladies pet Vivek Ramaswamy stated last week that with the upcoming tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China prices will rise by 25 to 30 percent on around 70 percent of the goods and foods Americans buy. And with a smile he said people will just have to "feel the pain." Wasn't that a song by the Damned? 

And drunken rapist and next Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth's mother posted that her baby boy has a history of spousal abuse and infidelity. Is that what you call 3 marriages and 7 children including one out of wedlock? 

And then, we got to this week's installment of " Meet the Press." First was the Trump lap dog Republican Senator from Tennessee Bill Hagerty. He wears his slavery to the Mango Mussolini on his sleeve. He said Patel is a brilliant choice for FBI director and Patel will go after journalists and politicians who don't like Trump. He said the magic words "Hunter Biden!" Former Attorney General Bill Barr, no box of candy himself, said Patel is grossly unqualified. Hagerty said Barr can go pound sand. Hagerty said he would vote for all of Trump's nominations because if you are good to the Titty Baby he'll let you keep your job. When asked about the upcoming tariff inflation Hagerty said shut up! Canada and Mexico are our enemies! Hagerty's head is so far up Trump's ass he found Moses Mike Johnson. Have you heard the joke that Trump calls Moses Mike his "Little Johnson?" 

Next was National Security Advisor Jake Sullvan. When Kristen Welker told Jake that Trump is taking credit for the Israel and Lebanon ceasefire he replied "no shit?" Sullivan said Syria is losing its grip on its citizens because Big Daddy Vladdy Putin has shot his wad on Ukraine. As far as all the hostages still being held by Hamas, Sullivan used the ultimate cliche: " We are working around the clock." Sleep tight tonight! 

Last and certainly least was Democratic Senator from Connecticut Chris Murphy. He is another in a long line of Democrats who don't have a clue. When Trump stirs up fear and hate, Murphy is the kind of guy who will hold up a chart and say "Look how good you're doing!" He did say that just like last time Trump will use the Government Treasury as his personal ATM. He also said he's a big negatory on Kash Patel. He said in the future Democrats should put social issues on the back burner and just make populist promises. "Vote for us! We're Santa Claus!" 

Dictionary.com declared the word of the year is "demure." It was made popular by a 375 pound crossdresser named Jools LeBron. Jools is a lifestyle and beauty influencer. Okey dokey. 

The second Thanksgiving Day NFL game had another long haired blonde fashion model/ country singer as the halftime show. But there also was a brief appearance by the tattoo covered obese singer Jelly Roll which got me to thinking. How about we have a female Jelly Roll sing country music. Would country fans go wild over a plus size facial tattooed female? Please answer in the comment section. And don't forget Trump called Mexican President Claudia Scheinbaum last week and she agreed to all his terms and that the border will be shut down and there will be no more fentanyl. The great deal maker scores again! No so fast Snoopy. Within the hour Scheinbaum replied that no such agreement was reached. In essence Trump was lying again. Oh yeah, she added, 80 percent of the illegal guns in Mexico come from America. God Bless the National Rifle Association.

 

One day, the track that you're climbing gets steep
Your emotions are frayed
And your nerves are starting to creep
Just remember the days
As long as the time that you keep
Brother, you better watch out for the skin deep

~ The Stranglers ~ 

It's Sunday with Dan | 2024 November 24

Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD Strange Tales #168 "Today Earth Died."

Last Monday marked the death of MSNBC. The left leaning news and opinion cable network drank the Diet Coke of the adjudicated rapist Donnie Trump and said we give up. The hosts of the network's 4 hour morning show, Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, have called Trump a racist and a fascist for the last 2 years. But lo and behold last weekend they got on the Batplane and flew down to the Shang-Gra-La that is Mar-A-Lago and kissed the ass of the Bronzed Pumpkin. They capitulated to the threats of revenge by the man who wears diapers. Then they had the nerve to come on TV and say they bravely opened the channels of communication. In a classic case of FAFO the network's ratings plummeted 35 percent and it lost all relevance as a source to be believed. When you sleep with dogs you wake up with fleas, as the philosopher Tom Snyder once said.

As the stock market wets its pants in fear of the Trump destruction of the economy there is a hot commodity skyrocketing up the Dow Jones. Yes, private prisons and detention companies are opening their doors with open arms for the 11 million immigrants, legal or illegal, soon to be herded up Nazi style by the United States armed forces. If you want to clean up financially jump in the water's fine!

In other immigrant news the Venezuelan who killed Laken Riley was sentenced to life in the boy's hotel. However, America was disappointed that the Cupcake of Hate Marjorie Traitor Greene was not there in the courtroom screaming "Say her name!" like she did all through the last State of the Onion address at Uncle Joe Biden. But the blonde cro-magnon made the news by saying she would physically fight the congress' first transgender representative Katie McBride of Delaware if she dared to use the restroom. Marjorie was beaten to the punch by attention whore Nancy Mace who introduced a bill that said no transgender women could use the women's room. A former staff member for Mace has told the press that Nancy demanded that she should be on tv 15 times a week! And you thought you saw Kevin Hart too much.

If you were preparing for Thanksgiving last week and not paying attention, the Orange Jesus continued to announce a rogues gallery of millionaires, criminals, Russian mouthpieces, and TV personalities for his cabinet from Hades.

First, the man who paid 10 thousand dollars to have sex with a pair of 17 year old girls pulled out his nomination for attorney general before he came. To the hearing. He was replaced by former Florida AG Pam Bondi. In 2013 Bondi was going to prosecute Trump University for fraud but dropped the case when the old mushroom winkie gave her campaign 25 thousand dollars. Everyone has a price, and Bondi's was lower than most. She has spent the last four years lying about election fraud, and has now vowed to prosecute Special Counsel Jack Smith and Attorney General Merrick Garland because that's what the average citizen wants.

In other ridiculous nominations Trumpty Dumpty named TV doctor Mehmet Oz to oversee Medicare and Medicaid. In his long career he prescribed medical cures 40 percent of the time that were fraudulent. I can kiss my retirement medical benefits goodbye!  When asked what Oz's qualifications were, Trump said "He was nominated for 10 Daytime Emmys!" Between Dr Oz and Dr Phil we really owe Oprah Winfrey a 3 Stooges pie in the face.

Defense Department nomination Pete Hegseth turns out to be another box of candy. He has 3 wives, 7 children, and is denying a charge of drunken rape. The weekend Fox " News" host has an AR 15 tattooed on his back, and wrote a book in 2020 declaring civil war backed by military force to "mock, humiliate, intimidate, and crush our leftist opponents." Now I'm not the sharpest pencil but I don't think a drunk with a boner should be in charge of 4 million troops and the nation's nuclear arsenal. But I could be wrong! I thought Kamala was going to win and that the St Louis Blues weren't going to totally blow tiger chunks this season.

And then there is the Soviet operative Tulsi Gabbard, who Trump wants to put in as Director of National Intelligence. She has no experience but she does travel to Syria and quotes Vladimir Putin. Tulsi says Russia didn't invade Ukraine, and that it was NATO's fault. If you've never seen Tulsi, she's the woman with the Pepe Le Pew white streak through her black hair.

After all of this head scratching bewilderment it was time for chocolate milk and a special all white edition of "Meet The Press." First off it was the junior senator from Missouri Eric Schmitt. He's a Republican and he told Kristen Welker that he would approve of all Trump's nominations. He refused to answer half of Kristen's questions but during the 12 minute "interview" he used the word "mandate" 4 times. I hate to be a stickler for accuracy but Trump won 50.2 percent to 48.5 percent. Most people wouldn't call that an overwhelming mandate, but I never bought a made in China MAGA hat either. 

 

According to Schmitt, Trump's criminals are now called reformers! He trafficked the falsehood that the FBI is targeting Catholics. He said DEI is un-American, and only white people need apply in today's new age. It's all about merit! That's why that Nazi skinhead Steven Miller is Trump's special advisor. Background checks are for sissy la las, pilgrim. As far as Ukraine is concerned, let Europe take care of it. We've got blacks and Mexicans to jail and deport. I want to hear "White Riot" by the Clash!

Next up was MAGA enemy number one Adam "Shifty" Schiff. The newly elected Democratic Senator from California always has a little self satisfied smirk on his face which adds to his charm. Schiff said Pam Bondi is a liar, Europe will no longer share intelligence with us since Pepe Le Pew Tulsi will send it straight to her Daddy Putin, and he is not upset that Trump calls him a lunatic. When Kristen asked him why his predictions of a blowout victory by Kamala were wrong, Shifty said he underestimated the brute force and ignorance of white guys who drink Milwaukee's Best Ice Beer and smoke any brand of cigarettes that cost less than 4 bucks a pack. Shifty then went off into the world of mumbo jumbo about how the Democrats need a bold new vision, a re-commitment to their mythical base, and the balls to tell the Mango Mussolini to bite it.

In other fun facts from last week did you know that 40 percent of Trump's cabinet nominations have sexual assault charges? That Trump nominated Linda McMahon, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, to lead the Department of Education? That the head of Walmart said all prices will increase when Trump's tariffs kick in? And his plan to eliminate taxes on Social Security will be covered by most SSI checks being lowered by 100 to 200 dollars a month? Within 6 months inflation will go back to 10 percent. And "No taxes on tips" was a campaign slogan and nothing else.

In entertainment news last week the American Country Music Awards were on. Morgan Wallen won Entertainer of the Year but he didn't show up. Presenter Laney Wilson said the word "y'all" five times in one sentence.

This is the weekend of "Wicked" and "Gladiator 2." My personal best movie weekend was in 1973 with "Cannibal Girls" and "Night Call Nurses."

Because of curiosity
I'm just riddled with anxiety
I'm the lowest level, as a matter of fact
I often dwell for days and days
~ Iggy Pop ~