"Now you can't boo me. I'm the Vice President of the United States." JD Vance 5-28-26
"I am the warrior. I deliver the fatal blow." Thin Lizzy
A week ago last Monday the United States decided to resume missile attacks on Iran.
Last
Tuesday Pervert Hoover took another physical exam at Walter Reed
hospital and, of course, he's in Batman tip top shape. And he passed his
fourth cognitive test delivering another perfect score. He declared
himself a genius. ICE ran wild in New Jersey and Democratic Senator Andy
Kim was pepper-sprayed. The contemptible Megyn Kelly said he should
have stayed home. Diaper Donnie canceled a cabinet meeting at Camp David
and in the Texas primary the corrupt Ken Paxton defeated the old school
incumbent John Cornyn. The $10 million Trump stole from the Treasury to
give to the Board of Peace has mysteriously disappeared. Will Cain on
Fox and Greg Kelly on Newsmax have made it to the finals of the
stupidest conservative television host competition. One Eyed Kash Patel
fired the FBI analyst who investigated the shooting years ago of
Republican Congressman Stece Scalise. Trump held another televised
cabinet meeting at the White House and made up statistics to let us know
we are living in the land of chicken and honey. He calls the war in
Iran a "conflict" and says that Smokey Eye Shady Vance reminds him of
Eliot Ness. Oh yeah. Vance reminds me of Poppin' Fresh with a beard.
Trumpty Dumpty said we have 64 percent of the world's oil and Iran would
use nuclear weapons immediately if they had them. I'd be a better
dancer if I didn't have 2 left feet. Prices will soon be the lowest ever
on oil. Trump is so brave in the face of assassination attempts. And,
contrary to the facts, this will be the most successful World Cup ever.
Orange Jesus said all ICE protesters are fake and paid agitators. DHS
Secretary Markwayne Mullin said our concentration camps aren't "the
Holiday Inn." Economic advisor Kevin Hassett said, "Grocery stores
shouldn't close down because of stupid rules about refrigerators."
Last
Thursday all hell broke out in Eastern Europe and the Middle East.
Cankles Caligula said when we attack Iran it's strictly "defensive," so
the ceasefire is still on. The Department of Justice/Revenge accused the
rape victim E Jean Carroll of perjury. The Freedom USA 250 celebration
announced its musical lineup and people laughed out loud. Markwayne
Mullin announced he's hiring his wife as a special assistant at a salary
of $130,000 a year. It's leaked that the Pentagon has ground invasion
plans for Cuba in keeping with Trump's promise of no new wars. Russia
fired missiles into Romania and there wasn't a peep out of NATO nor
America. A mere day later 7 of the 9 musical acts scheduled for Trump's
Freedom Concert canceled. Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi went to the Hill and
in a closed door hearing said Todd Blanche was in charge of the Jeffrey
Epstein investigation and she wouldn't answer any questions about Old
Purple Hands. "What about the Dow?!" CBS is showing the UFC fights at
the White House on Trump's birthday and who will watch? A judge in
Virginia blocked the Thug Funds for January 6th criminals for 2 weeks
until they can be reviewed more. It was also ruled Trump's name must be
removed from the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts and Trump said,
"Kiss his cottage cheese ass." He washes his hands of the entire
endeavor.
On Saturday
Trump said he was in no hurry to end his war and that high gas prices
are worth it for world safety. Suck it up, Buttercup!
Yesterday
on Monday Trump's physical results were finally released: he weighs 238
pounds and his purple hands are a result of daily aspirin taking and
"vigorous handshaking." He also has the heart of a 66 year old in his 80
year old body.
Sunday
was once again "Meet The Press," and what a thrill. First was former
Vice President Mike Pence. The Race Bannon look a like has a book out.
Great. Mikey said Depends Donnie is more popular than the radical left.
Unfortunately he said the populist right is favoring big government and
that's a big nay nay. Right to life is good and isolationism is bad.
Abortion pills are dangerous and bad and he used the phrase "God
fearing" more than once. Do we move beyond Trump? Pence didn't know.
Like every guest on the show Kristen Welker asked if he would run for
president. Pence said nope. 3 times. Does Miniature Marco beat Vance for
the nomination? Pence didn't have a clue. If politicians were
beverages Pence would be buttermilk.
Next
was Kentucky Governor Democrat Andy Breshear. He quoted the Bible and
said the Democratic Party needs to move to the middle. He wants a "fix
the country amendment," whatever that is. If Pence is buttermilk then
Breshear is Pepsi. He ain't Coca Cola. Is he going to run for president!
Do you have a single new question, Kristen? He's not talking.
Just
now Attorney General Todd Blanche said they are abandoning the January
6th cash payouts. Don't believe a word because words can tell lies.
RIP Sonny Rollins, Bob Hoerner, and Claude Lemiuex.
Tonight on TV, do I watch the first game of the Stanley Cup Finals, the primary results in 6 states, or "Farmer Needs a Wife?"
Lipstick on your collar is going to tell on you.
Lipstick on your collar shows you were untrue.
Bet your bottom dollar you and I are through.
Because lipstick on your collar is going to tell on you.
~Connie Francis / The Saints~