"I would have ended the Vietnam War in 5 days." - Donald F Trump 4-22-26
"I can tell you a story of a vagabond" - Thin Lizzy
Last Monday our favorite rapist Ghislaine Maxwell asked for her conviction to be vacated and woman beater James Comer thinks it's cool. Our country has spent 50 billion dollars on the war on Iran. And every woman's dream date $Kash Patel is in the bag. Labor Secretary Laura Schavez Dreremer resigned after drinking a fifth of Old Crow.
On Tuesday the 6.3 million dollars given to the Trump Presidential Library disappeared. Trump's cock lick for Secretary of the Treasury Kevin Warsh would not answer Elizabeth Warren's question that the Mussolini Mango lost the election 8 years ago.. Kevin is married to the heir of the Estee Lauder cosmetic brand. Our Slapdick Leader called CNBC and said high gas prices were " peanuts." And then he gave a speech bragging about no men in women's sports.
Wednesday was Earth Day Jesus was condemned for comparing himself to the Mushroom Winkie. Howard Nutlick and RFK Jr testified before the House Senate and they both lied like my ex girlfriend Christine. The woman beater James Comer said Ghislaine Maxwell should be pardoned and be allowed to rape more teenage girls. Scott "Open Casket " Bessent Our Treasury Secretary was stripped naked by Senator Elizabeth Warren during testimony and he threatened to jack off into a coma.
On Thursday Devin Nunnes was shitcanned as the head of Donnie "Grab them by the pussy" Trump Truth Social. They lost 712 million dollars last year. Go figure. Ron "Little Hitler " DeSantis is begging Spanky Mc Dick to be Attorney General, Secretary of Defense, or a Supreme Court Justice. And I want to be Napoleon Solo. In the middle of the night the GOP passed a funding bill for ICE and John Phrlan was fired as Secretary of the Navy and was replaced by a cat that believes in witches. Our government is buying Spirt airlines for 500 million dollars and Goldigger Sweet Karoline Leavitt said it was Uncle Joe Biden's fault.
The Dictatortot 1 million Gold Visa cards were supposed to pay off our national debt. One has been sold one year later. I'm stupid but I'm not dumb. The sexy beast Republican Congressman from Texas Chip Roy declared that all foreigners should be deported, except Melania as long as she makes porn films.
On Saturday there was a Winkie House correspondent dinner at the Hilton. A cat was tackled outside the building and he was photographed naked with his face on the sidewalk. Erica Crying " Kirk was there with her hankie! Who dislikes her? Melania was saved! Mister Pissy Pants fell down and couldn't get up. God bless America!
Then it was time for "Meet the Press." cofee and Jim Beam. First was the turd Todd Blanche. He's the Attorney General. He's a lying fuck. Melania is a goddess and Donnie is Doctor Jesus. We will kill everyone who is not white and he wants his job so bad he will gargle the sperm.
Next was Thom Tillis and he's as lame as my winkie. P and U. It's great to be tough when you're resigning from the Senate. Where were you the last 12 years!
Last it was the bought and paid for Ro Khanna. Me running. ""End the war!" "The Pope is great!" No shit.
I can tell you a story of a vagabond
A playboy of the Western World
~ Thin Lizzy ~