"Ukraine needs a new president." Donald F Trump 9-10-26
"Why waste time looking at the waistline? First I look at the purse." The Contours
Last Monday Jim Bakker died. Great experiences with pot: Watching Tammy Faye's TV show. She took a lot of mood elevators and made a cheese-ball the size of a volcano. She made a total mess and said, "Praise Jesus for paper towels!" The disgusting Megyn Kelly said the rapists at Cornell University were being abused by a drunken girl who wasn't attractive and loved the attention. The government approved the Paramount/ Warner Brothers merger and Doctor Oz said on TV a stick of butter only costs a dollar. Fine dining for less! Diaper Donnie said he'd pay for the ads praising him instead of using government money.
The next day the White House said he lied. They're still on our dime. You are welcome!
No impartial elections monitors will be allowed in America November but ICE thugs will be at polling places in your neighborhood. Only white men can vote.
On Wednesday Dementia Donnie said he reversed a Joe Biden law that made lawn mowers illegal to operate. And Showboat pork and beans are underrated. Donnie said his Palm Beach golf course will become the new Camp David and we're paying for it. Mind if I play through?
Thursday it was reported that the Pentagon is drawing up a 3 day war plan to take over Iran just after the midterm elections. Buy your beer and pork rinds now. The Department of Revenge is filing perjury charges against Trump aide Cassidy Hutchinson. She testified against the adjudicated rapist at the January 6th impeachment hearings. Play Nazareth "Revenge is Sweet." The inflatable doll Kimberly Guilfoyle begged a Trump donor to pay off her 100 K American Express bill and called him " honey." Love for sale. Moses Mike Johnson said if the Republicans get their asses kicked in the elections he will talk to God and open a lawn service. I talk to God every day and He tells me to stay home and save my money.
Another fraud investigation is being launched against Federal Reserve Board member Lisa Cook because she's a black woman and Orange Jesus hates her. The government is paying UFC fighters to train FBI agents. Jimminy jeez. War criminal Petey Kegsbreath said a killer in a wheelchair will be executed on a livestream. Sponsors include Smith and Wesson, the National Rifle Organization, and Mad Dog 20/20. Direct TV has no contract to televise St Louis Blues hockey games so I'm slowly dying every day. But aren't we all?
Trump announced Ukraine and Russia have entered an energy ceasefire. Both Vladimir Zelenskyy and Big Daddy Vladdy Putin both said " Huh?" ICE agents raided Democratic Congresswoman Ilhan Omar's house because she's a Muslim from Somalia.
"Meet The Press" was heavy on guests and light on substance. Senate candidate Abdul El-Sayed has a beard as shitty as mine. He loves Barack Hussain Obama. He used to be angry but he grew up. "We stand on the shoulders of giants." Abdul met Bill Clinton. He hopes Jews don't hate him. He's not in the Muslim brotherhood, but he is in a bowling league. He carries a 167 average.
Next was retiring Republican Senator Thom Tillis. He's finished a book. He's going to read another one next year. Putin started the war and the United States now sides with the bad guys. Petey Kegsbreath is a scumbag and we shouldn't show executions on TV. "I'm a Republican " and support the president. As always remember to brush and floss. Boxing is returning to TV, and bring it on. I'm a longtime fan of the sweet science.
Enjoy the baseball playoffs and Jessica Simpson's gambling commercials. Does she listen to old Blue Oyster Cult records?
What becomes of the brokenhearted
Who had love that's now departed
Who had love that's now departed
~Jimmy Ruffin~