It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 November 23

 "Quiet! Quiet, piggy!" - Donald F Trump to a female reporter for Bloomberg News on 11-18-25

"Everybody's doing just what they're told to." - The Clash 

 Petey Kegsbreath finished off his second fifth of Evan Williams White Label Monday morning and ordered the Coast Guard to invade Mexico. They even put up signs declaring their territory! Then they retreated a few hours later claiming Petey was suffering from double vision and misread his maps. But the military continued their build up off the coast of Valenzuela just in case we go to war in order to commandeer their oil reserves under the guise of a War on Drugs. 

Tim Cook did the Steve Miller thing and took the money and ran. He's resigning as the CEO of Apple. 

Secretary of the Treasury Open Casket Scott Bessent confessed to Daisy Duck Maria Bartiromo that we didn't really have any signed trade agreements with China. "Concepts of a plan." Kristi Noem and her sex partner Corey Lewandowski have spent 200 million dollars of Homeland Security money on commercials with a company called Strategy Group. This company is owned by the husband of the chief spokesperson for DHS. These are the ads that show Big Lips Kristi herding livestock with Gil Favor and Rowdy Yates. 

The head of FEMA resigned after only 6 months on the job. He was gone on a hunting trip for 2 days when the floods hit Texas last spring. There are still over 100 people who have never been found, but it's Texas and Governor Hot Wheels Greg Abbott is busy outlawing Muslims.

 On the Drew Barrymore show it was reported that line dancing is experiencing a revival. As a genuine dull person I have never done the boot scootin' boogie. 

Tuesday saw Orange Jesus positively giddy receiving the murderous Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed bin Salman at the White House. Don't forget about the bone sawing dismemberment of Washington Post reporter Jamal Khoshoggi in 2018. When asked about that the adjudicated rapist shouted down the ABC reporter saying "That's a terrible question and you're a terrible person!" The prince made up a story about pledging one trillion dollars in investments. The entire worth of his country is only 1.3 trillion so we will see how that pans out. In return he gets nuclear secrets ( to be sold to China ) , and F-35 fighter jets. And he had a grand dinner with Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, and the rest of the gang. The survivors of Epstein's Rape Island held a press gathering and were introduced by Hubba Hubba Marjorie Traitor Greene. Of course, Marjorie talked for 10 minutes about herself and then said "Who's next?" The next lady who spoke told Trump, in name, "I'm traumatized but I'm not stupid." Trump signed a deal worth 63 billion dollars with the Saudi's for condos and casinos, and then said he had nothing to do with the family business. 

The House and the Senate voted yes to releasing the Jeffrey Epstein files. The House voted 427 to 1. Guess who voted against it? Our favorite pistol whipping fired cop turned MAGA politician Louisiana Clay "Ghost Buses" Higgins!

 Wednesday was the memorial service for war criminal Dick Cheney and neither Trumpty Dumpty nor Smokey Eye Shady Vance were invited. Trump then posted that many more people would attend his funeral and "millions of people are looking forward to it!" I didn't make that up. Bitcoin has lost all it's financial gains for the year. Sorry! 

On Thursday 6 former military members and current Democratic Senators and House members released a video telling soldiers they don't have to follow illegal orders. Trump immediately called for their executions for being traitors. Trump DOJ attorney Lindsey Halligan was caught falsifying her grand jury indictments against former FBI director James Comey, and the Loveless Attorney General Pammy Jo Bondi also lied covering it up. Trust in your government! 

On Friday the Education Department declared that being a registered nurse is no longer a "professional degree." Pammy Jo Bondi charged former presidential advisor John Bolton with 18 counts of releasing government secrets and stealing documents. The same thing Cankles Caligula did. Trump wants Ukraine to surrender to Russia and said the Coast Guard's new boats look like "yachts with lots of guns." Trump took time out from napping to meet with New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani. He told the press they had more in common than not, and again showed that when he's not surrounded by his goons Trump always wimps out. And 8:30 CST Friday night Marjorie Traitor Greene announced her retirement from Congress. Rumor has it with the ending of Steven Cobert's late night show she could launch her "Fuck You Hour with MTG" show. It was also finally reported that JD Vance's motorcade last week in Tennessee struck and critically injured a motorcycle cop. And they didn't stop. Thanks! 

On Saturday Israel and Hamas declared the cease fire was over and it was war as usual! Screw that Nobel Peace Prize, Mushroom Winkie! And the crypto industry officially crashed, much to the chagrin of titans Andrew Tate and Eric "Cementhead " Trump. 

Today it was " Meet The Press " and as usual Kristen Welker telegraphed all her queries. First it was the Corpse Who Talks Scott Bessent. You know this week he said a war with Valenzuela would dramatically lower the price of oil? Flame on! The three I's of our economy are immigration, interest, and inflation. Trump has conquered the first two so prosperity is right around the corner! Energy prices are down, and he had high hopes for health care! I'll be good looking when I grow up, too! The service economy is feeling higher prices, so it's obvious wages are too high. Are we having a recession? If so it's the Democratic shutdown! All because the Dems hate der commisar Donnie. Don't forget the One Big Beautiful Bill! No tax on tips, no tax on overtime, and no tax on billionaires. Plants are opening every week. Europe is helping Russia. Volodymyr Zelenskyy is a turd. The 28 point plan to end the war between Russia and Ukraine was really written by Trump , not Big Daddy Vladdy Putin. Should Democrats be executed for treason? Ask him later. Everything Trump does is cool! Then they put Bessent back into his casket because the sunlight would kill him. 

Next was our New York City mayor and he's a Socialist with a small s. Politics should help people. Frosted blueberry are the best Pop Tarts. New York citizens are concerned about zoning changes, rent, child care, and utilities. Mamdani loves cops and the 35 thousand they have now are enough. He doesn't want the army. He can pay for his economic plans by having a 9 billion dollar tax increase. What rhymes with pie in the sky? Kristen then asked him if he can really implement all of his campaign promises. Can the Kansas City Chiefs win the Super Bowl? Are bears Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods? She then did her usual party trick and asked the same question 3 times. Are you the future of the party? Are you going to be fired, Kristen? 

Finally it was Minnesota Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar. Should Democrats be executed? This isn't a game, and we aren't playing Strat-O-Matic baseball. You can't send in the Army to American cities. Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi will ursurp the release of the Epstein files under the guise of "ongoing investigation." Amy, everybody knows that. Surrender to Russia is not a peace plan and a can of Chef Boy Ar Dee is not a meal. We must extend the Obamacare tax breaks and if not the people will revolt. Just like abortion rights and taxing the rich, huh Amy? Brush my teeth and call me Smiley. 

On Tuesday Frito Lay announced they are introducing snacks without artificial colors. When I heard the phrase "Naked Cheeto" I thought of our Love God President. It disturbed me all day.

 

Someone describe, that primal drive
To consume what's theirs and seek what's mine
I don't believe them
And I don't believe you
I suspect everything you do 

~The Gun Club~