11.30.2025

It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 November 30

 

"Are you stupid?! Are you a stupid person?! You're just asking questions because you're a stupid person!" - The effervescent Donald F Trump 11-28-25. 

"The king is gone but he's not forgotten." - Neil Young. 

Last Sunday Dak Prescott became the all time passing yardage leader for the Dallas Cowboys. He is now the Long Dong Silver of Cowboys quarterbacks. 

On Monday the alcoholic rapist Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath announced Senator Mark Kelly would be reinstated to the military so he could be court martialed for telling soldiers they could refuse illegal orders. Former FBI director James Comey and New York Attorney General Letitia James had their cases dismissed because the federal prosecutor Lindsey Halligan was deemed illegally appointed. But the former third place Miss Colorado is still smoking hot and has great hair. Director of Homeland Security and adulteress Kristi Noem handed out fake 10 thousand dollar checks to 29 employees of her agency. But it was televised and she was Ohio Players "Skin Tight." Her clothes and her face. 

On Tuesday seven Democratic senators declared a Fight Club to oppose Minority Leader Chuck "110 years old" Schumer. The first rule of Fight Club is not to tell Angela Jolie. What happened to her? Rapey McFraud canceled the announcement of his 10 years promised health care plan and Nvidia told it's stockholders "We're not Enron." I'm not Fred MacMurray. Pammy Jo Bondi said she will appeal the cases dismissed against Comey and James, and Trump pardoned the Thanksgiving turkeys named Waddle and Gobble. The turkeys contributed money for his Great Golden Ballroom and he said he wouldn't deport them to an El Salvador death camp. Bloomberg News reported Steve Witkoff and oily Jared Kushner advised Big Daddy Vladdy Putin's top aide on how to butter up Cankles Caligula to surrender Ukraine. "Tell him his cock is perfection and he's better looking than Vic Damone." Trump said he will not extend tax credits for the Affordable Care Act, and Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy said people traveling by air need to wear suits and ties. Just like Drew Barrymore. Hideous Freak $Kash Patel said the FBI will investigate all 6 Democrats who filmed the video warning soldiers not to commit war crimes and the Georgia prosecutor dropped all charges against Orange Jesus in the 2020 election interference case. It was revealed that ICE Barbie Kristi Noem told the jets to fly to El Salvador against the court order and deposit the prisoners and not to worry. Trump Mobile phones were advertised last March by Cokehead Donnie Jr and goofy Eric, and no one has received one nor had their money refunded. Go figure. 

On Wednesday two National Guard troops were shot within a block of the White House by an Afghan ex CIA operate. One died and one is still in critical condition. Although Trump vetted the shooter it's still Uncle Joe Biden's fault. Just ask the hammered Jeanine Pirro. The New York Times reported that Mushroom Winkie works Monday through Thursday from ten after noon until 5 pm. He doesn't get paid by the hour. California Democratic Congressman landed the first punch and filed a lawsuit against Brett Pulte, the head of Freddie Mac and Freddie Mae for invading private banking records to file frivolous lawsuits against enemies of the Puffed Cheeto. Woman beater James "Foghorn Leghorn" Comer said the House Judiciary Committee was still investigating Special Prosecutor Jack Smith, and it was estimated that the American taxpayers will dole out 300 million dollars paying for the adjudicated rapist's golf trips over the next 3 and a half years. But we can't afford Food Stamps. Fucking leeches! Tattooed covered Love God Petey Kegsbreath is now known to have ordered the death of every person on the first boat sunk off the coast of Valenzuela even after the first three missiles hit. "Go back and kill them all!" What a patriot. 

On Thanksgiving Thursday the Kansas City Chiefs stepped on their cranks and Trump woke up and ordered the invasion of Minnesota. Apparently Somalians are roaming the streets with machetes. Trump called the Democratic Governor Tim Walz "retarded." 47,000 people had their tax records turned over to ICE by Open Casket Scott Bessent to Puppy Killer Kristi Noem in a blatant violation of federal law. Hey! We gotta arrest more brown people! Former Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey is poised to become the new director of the FBI. You read it here first. The largest drug trafficker in South America, Juan Orlando Hernandez, is set to be released by Rapey McFraud because "many people say he was treated unfairly." Funny he's in an American prison. How does that work? And because of leaked RFK Jr text messages we now know what the word "felching" means. OMG. 

Today's "Meet the Press " began with the surgically altered DHS director Lips Kristi Noem. Kristi had fresh pucker paint and blamed everything wrong in America on Uncle Joe Biden. She mentioned Joe 12 times in 9 minutes. Joe is Satan and Trump is our Savior. There are one hundred thousand killers from Afghanistan in America now. Fuck. They need to get the Hell out! Activist judges will burn in the everlasting flames of Hades and Corey Lewandowski is like M&M's. Melts in your mouth, not in your hands. 

Next was war hero and astronaut Mark Kelly. The Democratic Senator from Arizona said Petey Kegsbreath was a Neanderthal with Nazi tattoos and too much hair gel. Why are Petey's sideburns never the same length? Kelly will not be bullied by Trump and it was proven again that Joan Rivers was a better interviewer than Kristen Welker. 

Finally it was the aforementioned retarded governor of Minnesota Tim Walz. Walz said diversity is good, but so is Ott's Salad Dressing. Minnesota is a great state for children and what's up with Trump's MRI? Trump is a maniac and he doesn't know if Kamala Harris will run again for president. He was going to grill Johnsonville brats and drink Pabst Blue Ribbons after the show. And don't forget the Mango Mussolini signed an Executive Order last week declaring all of Joe Biden's pardons are now revoked. It's a small step for a man, but a giant step for mankind. In the latest Choice Home Warranty commercial the drunken Ty Pennington is listed as being an author. WTF? Did he write a letter to Penthouse? "I never thought I would be attracted to a one eyed amputee, but..." Paramount announced it was filming a "Rush Hour 4" because Trumpty Dumpty told them to. Can we bring back "F Troop" too? Is it Toyotathon, Happy Honda Days, or the Ford End of Year Sale? Enjoy the last day of Thanksgiving weekend and thank you for reading my ramblings for 10 minutes every week. 

Red light, green light, yellow light, wait
Green with envy and red with hate
Yellow with fear so you better stay clear
Of emotional traffic
~The Rumour~

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