"Nobody knows what a magnet is." - Donnie F Trump to Laura Ingraham on Fox 11-9-25
"Still they lie" - Hydra
Last Sunday the adjudicated rapist Donnie Trump went to make a scene
at the Washington Commanders football game accompanied by the lush
Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath. The crowd of 70 thousand lustily
booed for 3 straight minutes while he waved.
Monday began with
Cankles Caligula pardoning another 77 criminals who were involved in
the attempted overthrow of the 2020 presidential election. Among the
creme de la crumbs were Rudy "Blow Me" Giuliani, Sydney Powell, Mark
Meadows, and shyster John Eastman. This was followed by the Gang of
Eight folding like napkins and voting to reopen the federal government. 7
Democrats and independent Angus King claimed they scored a victory and
if you want to believe that go ahead. Can I borrow 100 dollars? I'll pay
you in two weeks. Think of Lucy Van Pelt telling Charlie Brown he can
kick the football. AIPAC Shakur Hakeem Jeffries told the press "We waged
a valiant fight." 43 days for absolutely nothing. The Democratic Party
is led by gutless bought and paid for bastards. You heard it here first.
Cover girl Erica Kirk was at the White House for no apparent
reason and during a press briefing Mushroom Winkie grabbed her and
planted a big wet jellyfish kiss on her because when you're a celebrity
you can do it. She's making the rounds enjoying her status as America's
Martyr.
Tuesday was Veteran's Day and Donnie and Smokey Eye
Shady Vance attended a ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery. Donnie
made it all about himself, and wants to change the name to Victory Day
because we won all of those World Wars, not the British or the French.
8
Republican Senators are looking to collect a half a million dollars
apiece because their phone records were requested in the January 6th
investigation. They were all calling Donnie during the riot. Among the
disgusting grifters are Running Man Josh Hawley, Rock Stupid Tommy
Tuberville, and the Queen of Aquanet Hairspray Marsha Blackburn. The
Supreme Court heard arguments to outlaw and reverse Donnie's tariffs as
they are in essence a tax on the American people. Only Congress can pass
tax increases. Trump says if they reverse the tariffs and force the
government to refund the money collected the nation would go under. You
think 5 Chins has already spent the money? I'd put a dollar on that.
Wednesday
saw 20 thousand Jeffrey Epstein emails released by the Democrats on the
House Oversight Committee. Hoo boy! Epstein's brother Mike asked if
"Putin has the photos of Trump blowing Bubba." Now there's your
disturbing visual for the week, perhaps the month. Goldigger Sweet
Karoline Leavitt announced that thanks to the Democrats the Bureau of
Labor Statistics would no longer release employment and inflation
information. But she cited an increase in Doordash revenues as a sign
that the economy was zip a dee door dah. Have you seen she now doctors
her senior citizen creepy husband's photos? That's not my dad! That's my
ticket to riches! The BBC reported that Bennie Netanyahu has destroyed
1500 buildings in Gaza since the ceasefire was reached with Israel.
Peace, baby! The president hosted the leader of Syria, who formerly
beheaded people as the leader of Al Quida, and sprayed him with Trump
Cologne. "Here's a bottle for your wife. How many wives do you have?"
Yes, he said that. The Congresswoman from New Mexico was sworn in so
next week they will vote on releasing the complete Epstein files. But
the Senate won't pass it so we can all go pound sand. The Mango
Mussolini refused to answer Epstein questions but did say all prices are
going down and we're all rich.
Thursday America continued to
prepare for war with Venezuela. The House voted down a provision to
cancel the 40 billion dollar bailout of Argentina to pay for the
continuation of Obamacare. The perpetually angry Virginia "The 90 year
old bitch" Foxx told the Democrats on the committee to shut up. What a
blessing she is. Remember a year ago when she said Santa Claus relies on
whole milk to give him the energy he needs for Christmas deliveries.
The Beautiful Megyn Kelly said on her podcast "Jeffrey Epstein was not a
pedophile, but a barely legal type." That makes things cool. Trump says
he's going to sue the BBC for a billion dollars over editing his riot
instructions on January 6th for a documentary. The BBC told Trumpty
Dumpty they were sorry, but go ahead and sue, jag off. On Friday Laura
Ingraham had Lara Trump on and the failed country singer asked the
burning questions "Why are white women leaving America?" Statistics show
the average age of a United States Senator is 70 years old. Idiotic
podcaster Tim Pool said Trump would rather be known as a pedophile than
as a snitch. Tantric Sex Kitten Marjorie Traitor Greene has fallen out
of favor with Orange Jesus and he called her a "raving lunatic." And
granddaughter Kai Trump played her first. LPGA tournament. The 18 year
old shot a 83 and a 75 and didn't make the cut. She did finish dead
last. You go girl!
"Meet The Press " began today with the
gutless piece of shit Democratic Senator Tim Kaine. He voted to reopen
the government because he was concerned about government employees not
getting paid. He made a nonsensical reference to a football game plan
not working, so it was time to kiss the ring. He's got a real smirk.
Kaine said his constituents love him and Chuck Schumer is a great
Democratic leader. He said Ro Khanna and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez need
to shut their pie holes and mind their own business. Nobody tells him
what to do and thoughts and prayers for health care. The Republicans
will come around, and I'm a Rhodes Scholar. Next was the aforementioned
Ro Khanna and don't look at him like he's a liberal warrior. He has big
money invested in Peter Thiel's Palantir corporation. He'll get rich on
Elon Musk stolen government information. Thanks Ro! The shutdown was a
waste of time, and Chuck Schumer sucks eggs. Khanna wants Trump to meet
with Epstein's victims and my response is fat chance. Last it was
Majority Senate Whip John Barrasso from Wyoming. "I'm a doctor! " He
said that 4 times. Insurance companies are the bad guys and Obamacare is
a disaster. He repeated the lie that illegal immigrants get free health
care and the Democrats want to give statehood to DC and Puerto Rico and
that's unconscionable. Trump is a fabulous leader and we cannot succumb
to the radical far left . The Epstein files are not important. He is a
perfect representation of a wealthy gasbag. This was another terrible
episode and Kristen Welker is the death of this show.
RIP Sally Kirkland.
It's
Wicked Week on the "Today " show, and Arianna Grande always looks like I
did when I came out of my coma 4 years ago. "What? Me worry?"
Plans
are being made for a new comedy on CBS called "Georgie and Mandy's
First Divorce." Mandy gets sick of his shitty job and drops him like a
bad transmission. Georgie becomes a sad barfly and hilarity ensues!
I heard those slinky sirens wail (Whooo!)
So look out, sailor, when you hear them croon
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