It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 November 9

"The Hundreds of Billions of Dollars currently being sent to money sucking Insurance Companies in order to save the bad Healthcare provided by Obamacare, BE SENT DIRECTLY TO THE PEOPLE SO THAT THEY CAN PURCHASE THEIR OWN, MUCH BETTER HEALTHCARE, and have money left over."  Donald F Trump 11-8-25 on Truth Social

 

"There's a riot in the men's room." -  The Fiends

Last Sunday Crazy Eye $Kash Patel fired the FBI Head of Flight Security because he disclosed that loverboy $Kash was using government jets for his dates with his conservative country singer girlfriend. Adjudicated rapist Mushroom Winkie appeared on "60 Minutes " and waited 7 minutes to call Uncle Joe the worst president in American history. It was 72 minutes edited down to 21. Nora O'Donnell has now reduced herself to be a pretty bought and paid for television whore. We will never take her seriously again. War criminal Dick Cheney died of complications of pneumonia and his fifth heart attack. His major accomplishments were naming himself George W Bush's vice president, shooting a hunting companion in the face, and calling the waterboarding of prisoners of war "enhanced interrogation techniques." The USDA threatened grocery stores to not give discounts to SNAP recipients because Director Brookie Rollins believes the poor should suffer. 

Tuesday Oklahoma Senator and tough guy Markwayne Mullin appeared on CNN and wore a cowboy hat and flexed. Tantric Sex Kitten Marjorie Traitor Greene was a guest on "The View" and tried to present herself as a calm rational person. She's going to run for president in 2028. Put money on that. Marjorie, Sunny Hostin, and Alyssa Farrah Griffin argued about which one of them had the best hair. 

Elections were also held Tuesday and not a single Rapey McFraud endorsed candidate won. New York City mayoral candidate Andrew "Come here baby" Cuomo lost by 12 points to the Democratic Socialist even though 20 billionaires contributed to his campaign. The zombie Chuck Schumer refused to endorse Mondami the winner because he isn't supported by Big Money. Fuck Chuck Schumer. 

On Wednesday the Secretary of State for Kentucky had to issue a press release telling his MAGA constituents they couldn't vote in the New York election. These are the same Republicans who voted him in. Don't eat the crayons. The Supreme Court heard arguments against Trump's illegal tariffs but they won't have a ruling until June of next year. And your favorite Transportation Secretary and male underwear model Sean Duffy told America flights will be canceled because of the federal government shutdown. Have you seen his underwear photos? Tip for the ladies: He's packing a rod! His bologna has a name and it's not Oscar Mayer. 

The first hearing against former FBI director James Comey didn't go well for the Trump attorney and former beauty contestant ( 3rd place ) as the judge agreed with Comey that "Indict first, investigate later" is not a good strategy. And they forgot to bring the grand jury documents. If I wasn't wearing my good clothes I'd kick your ass. 

Thursday Brian Glenn, the tv "reporter" who slips the weasel to Marjorie Traitor Greene, told Donnie Trump that Walmart reduced their Thanksgiving packaged meal by 25 percent. Trust in facts: The meal used to have 21 items and now it has 15. All generic "Great Value" brand. Remember Meister Brau beer? "Tastes like Budweiser, but it's dollars less!" Syphilis Brain repeated that Walmart price the rest of the week as proof he'd reduced grocery prices. You tell the same story 3 times it becomes the truth! 

Nancy Pelosi announced she's not running for reelection and when asked Trump said she was "an evil person." Trump then fell asleep at a press announcement in the Oval Office, and a pharmaceutical executive passed out and fell to the floor. RFK Jr ran away and Trump stared into space at attention for the cameras. 

On Friday the Democrats on the House Oversight Committee drafted a resolution to question Prince Andrew about his sex with Jeffrey Epstein's slaves, but Beat 'Em Up James Comer said hell no. Once again Orange Jesus said no SNAP benefits and Secretary Duffy said flights won't be late if they're canceled. Fig Newtons are yummy. Trumpty Dumpty hosted dictator Viktor Orban at the White House and said he could buy all the Russian oil they want. That sound you hear is sperm gargling. Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi appealed to the Supreme Court to stop the mandated payments of SNAP benefits and Justice Ketanji Brown okayed it. Supposedly Brown is playing 5D chess, but legal football is over my head. Trump Rx.com opened for reduced weight loss drugs, and immediately crashed in Donnie tradition. 

Saturday saw the birth of your favorite new conspiracy: Lesbian porn model and First Whore Melania Trump is a Russian asset who works for Big Daddy Vladdy Putin and has from the beginning. From her lips to Vladdy's ear! "The Honey Pot." It works every time. I'll save the Elon Musk conspiracy for later! 

It's Sunday and it's the train wreck called "Meet The Press." First was the man called AIPAC Shakur, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries from New York. He's really grown some Leonard Nimoy Spock ears. He gestures with his hands endlessly and answers every question like Chat GPT. He knows all the riffs, but he has no fire. Think of Bad Company. He quoted Patrick Swayze from "Roadhouse" and Kristen Welker, of course, asked him the same question 3 times in a row. "Will the government shutdown be over by Thanksgiving? " times three. Kiss my grits, Kristen. Can he be the next Nancy Pelosi? Can your pussy do the dog? "We need a strong floor with no ceiling!" We also need ketchup for our fries. 

Next was Republican Senator and Babbatist minister from Oklahoma James Lankford. What perfect hair! Democrats hate Trump! Their concern for SNAP payments is totally fake! Obamacare is radical and inherently evil! After Lankford would utter a blatant lie he would flash a churlish grin. Cutting taxes for billionaires is more crucial than food and health care. God loves him and you are on your own, pal. He continued the falsehood that tariffs would pay for WIC. We can't pay for SNAP because that would cancel school lunches. What? That's a new one! We need extra money for hurricanes and wars. And Lankford loves Jews. Bring on the rapture, baby! 

The insipid Republican Congressman Chip Roy said Friday that now New York City will now be run under Sharia Law, Muslims, Antifa, and George Soros.The Senate voted 51 to 49 to give Donnie total authority to wage war without Congressional approval and Jim Carrey wants to play George Jetson in a live action movie. Lindsay Lohan will play Jane, and his boy Elroy will be played by Greg Gutfeld. 

In the latest example of science gone too far Tillamook introduced a combination of butter and mayonnaise for those with a death wish. What happened to our invasion of Greenland? How about those DOGE rebate checks?

 

Keep your hands on the wheel, 

said Marie to the driver. 

If you're feeling what I'm thinking, 

how would you think I'd feel? 

Keep your hands on the wheel.

~Roy Wood~