It's Sunday with Dan | 2026 September 13 - Monday Edition

Last Monday was Labor Day and our pals in Russia celebrated by bombing the hell out of Kiev, Ukraine with over 20 North Korean missiles. Ukraine answered back by bombing oil refineries in Russia. Nice job negotiating Steve Witkoff and Jared "Sonny Drysdale " Kushner! 

On Tuesday we found out how Corey Lewandowski got rich while working at DHS by granting government contracts to companies receiving kickbacks. Trump told lies about his involvement on 9/11 and Canada matched Trump's tariffs tit for tat. The diaper wearing maniac said he wants to change New Mexico's name to New America. Madness in Missouri reigned over the Republicans trying to redistrict the state by eliminating the two remaining Democratic districts. 

Wednesday was the first night of the Trump Midterm Convention. Speakers stressed that God had a penis. That's news to me. Trumpty Dumpty promised everyone in America a check for 5 grand if the Republicans win both the House and the Senate. Natalie Harp and two other Trump doll babies got bonuses of 46 thousand dollars for fixing his hair and changing his Depends. Trump said the war in Iran would end after the November elections. The bonus checks Trump wants to issue will add 1.3 trillion dollars to the national debt. FCC commissioner Brenden Carr did his Frank Sinatra imitation. "Hey, Vito! Break his legs!" 

RIP Barry Melrose and Roger Simon. 

On Friday it was the 25th anniversary of 9/11, and at a ceremony at the Pentagon speakers included war criminals Condoleezza Rice, Petey Kegsbreath, and Rapey McFraud. New inflation figures were released Friday. Another 3.4 percent increase in this the Golden Age. London intelligence said the Soviets have lost half a million soldiers in their war. That ain't spit, kids. 

On Saturday Donnie in Ireland said many people like him and he's very popular. Okay. 

Sunday was a particularly mind-numbing episode of "Meet The Press." How superficial am I? The first thing I noticed was Kristen Welker's white fingernail polish. Moses Mike Johnson was the first guest and he has mastered the art of talking in clichés and saying nothing. We are all rich. Trump is the president of big ideas. Moses said Iranians are compulsive liars and it's part of their religion. Artificial intelligence needs to be regulated but we can't lose to the Chinese. Is it a threat to humanity? Moses bravely answered "No one knows." God's Chosen Liar never enlightens any conversation. What a sniveling quisling. 

Next was the Mayor Pete Buttigieg. Love that beard! The MAGA party has no legislative agenda, they just call Dems names. Socialist communists! John Fetterman is just short of being a traitor. Pete has bigger concerns. AI is the fox running the henhouse. Hal is running the spaceship. Should we expand the Supreme Court? Pete said yuppers. The court needs term limits. Mars needs women. Are we ready for a gay president? In a heartbeat hell yes! I wonder about that. We weren't ready for s black woman. We picked an Orange Rapist, so go figure. Then Kristen did her only trick. "Are you running for president? " 3 times. Aye yi yi. This wasn't must-see television but it hasn't been for quite some time. Hey, everybody has traditions. 

I'll take eggs in my beer, thank you. What's a Grecian urn? About 8 dollars an hour. 

Tell me if you think that this is worth the while
coming back into style
stretched out on the wire

it's time to open fire 

~Any Trouble~ 

It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 February 9

 "It's time to normalize Indian hate. I was racist before it was cool."

 Marko Elez - Reinstated member of President Musk's gang of six. 

Marko has your bank account routing code and the full support of Couch Pounder Shady Vance. Vance has sold his wife and 2 children to Enrique "The Love God" Tarrio.

 

Last week began with the utter collapse of the New York Stock Exchange. It was the monetized panic of people we don't know who bailed on America and the rapist's trade tariffs. Like passing gas after a meal at Casper's chili parlor Short Penis dropped the tariffs and declared victory. Kelly McEnany put on Olay skin conditioner and told the viewers on Fox "News" he was smarter than Egghead on "Batman" first season. The international sex symbol Elon Musk eliminated the IRS free file system to make sure Intuit can still charge Americans money to file their taxes, and the underrated Senator from Louisiana John Kennedy told the country to spread cheeks and get ready for the hammer. His fake accent is only topped by Pat Buttrum as Mr Haney on "Green Acres." "If you don't like it you liberal retard then give a knob shine to a goat!" 

The Commissar Musk also announced Monday the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, the Securities and Exchange Bureau, USAID, and the Department of Education are going the way of 8 track tapes and the career of Andrew "Dice" Clay. 

On Tuesday the syphilis demented man wearing makeup told us we were taking over the Gaza Strip. His bastard son in law Jarred Kushner will dispose 2 million people and build the "Riveara of the Middle East." Opposing faiths and beliefs have struggled over 200 years. Fuck that! Let's have casinos, nudie bars, and Golden Corrals! On Wednesday the most qualified woman in America Karoline Leavitt told the press that "Donald Trump is the best deal maker on the planet!" As the official press secretary of the Felonious Monk she went to college on a softball scholarship and married a 60 year old billionaire. When she's not gargling sperm she's telling lies. Best lie of the week from Karoline: " 2 million dollars for sex changes in Guatemala!" And she waved a piece of paper! Your favorite Secretary of State Little Marco Rubio stuck a deal to send American citizens to El Salvador for imprisonment. The 4 foot 2 inch man said it would save us money. And America's Texas Ranger via South Dakota Kristi Noem said she's hip to sending mothers and babies to Gitmo in Guantanemo Bay in Cuba because they're dirty foreigners. Besides buying the Panama Canal, declaring war on Denmark, overtaking Canada, and making up stories about Senator Tommy "Asshole" Tuberville and Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes, Donnie had time to play golf at the Roach Motel Mar-A-Lago 6 days in his first 3 weeks as the puppet for Musk and Vladimir Putin. 

This morning was another thrill packed episode of "Meet The Press." Chuck Todd left NBC News last week and who can blame him. Kristen Welker was totally Miami Vice Sonny Crockett pink and white and if this was not a waste of time what was. I should have watched a fucking rerun of "Time Tunnel." Our first guest was white supremacist Mike Waltz. He's a national security advisor and would probably like to shag 

Tulsi "Pepe Le" Gabbard despite her Hindu beliefs and backdoor cash from Big Daddy Putin. Mike was a garbage dispenser for 11 minutes. But he will keep his job because he praised the Mango Mussolini 8 times and said " Woke policies negate our effectiveness and readiness!" Pardon me for liking people. 

Next was New Jersey Democratic Senator Andy Kim. Not that Andy Kim who had 2 singles on the top 40 in 1967. If there is a reason Democrats are so lame look at Andy Kim. Chuck Schumer is in a coma, and Mitch McConnell is a zombie in a George Romero film. Andy stated talking points and was as compelling as a  Jimmy Fallon monologue. Andy Kim got me fired up to throw McDonald's cheeseburgers like the racoon makeup monkey lingered puppet. 

Then to close today's episode it was Amanda Gorman. If you look up her bio it says "Poet, activist, model." I can't put that on my job description. 

There's a thousand million voices

They're screaming in my eyes

Preachers in the forest

Sirens in the sky

Well, I walked around and I cried a lot

Thought that I would die

Find me

 

 ~ Hüsker Dü ~