"I've had the smartest people on Wall Street call me and say where did you get that idea? It's like the paper clip. A guy invented it and people said 'wow.'"
Donnie Trump 12-17-24
A study has been released that says once every 18 hours in America someone gets shot in an act of road rage. Monday was the 75th birthdays of both the great Billy Gibbons and Don Johnson. And now for the rest of this week's shit.
Senile Donnie said he wanted to abolish the Federal Deposit Insurance Agency and the United States Postal Service. One Eyed Jack Kash Patel was revealed to have a non profit charity called the Kash Foundation that is supposed to combat those who defame Donnie. Turns out it's just a website selling MAGA hats and tee shirts and the proceeds go to Kash. Your FBI at work.
After being humiliated and shamed by his employer ABC's George Stephanopoulos deleted his X/Twitter account and hid under his bed. Roll over Walter Kronkite and tell David Brinkley the news. The odiforious Trump declared ABC was just the beginning of news organizations and individuals he's going to sue. And he declared " The US and China can solve all the problems in the world." That should be interesting. Turns out Donnie has 209 immigrants washing dishes, cooking, and cleaning rooms at Mar-A-Lago. President Elon Musk has over 2 thousand immigrants working at Tesla and SpaceX. I thought they were all disease carrying rapists, murderers, and terrorists?
On Tuesday New York judge Juan Merchan ruled that Trump is not covered by his presidential immunity clause for the 34 felony counts in the payoff of Stormy "36 DD-26-36, shoe size 7 1/2" Daniels. Are you telling me hush money being paid to a porn actress you had 4 seconds of sex with is not an official act of your office? This ruling set the crying titty baby into a shitstorm of tweets. Also the Newark New Jersey office of the FBI said people should not use guns and rifles to shoot at drones, airplanes, or constellations in the night sky.
Trump lied and said he won by getting 34 percent more of the youth vote. The Associated Press showed the real statistics of Kamala "Remember Me" Harris winning 51 percent of that demographic.
From her hospital bed in gay Paree 92 year old Nancy Pelosi strong-armed her Democratic colleagues to elect 74 year old Gerry Connolly as new ranking member of the House Oversight Committee. Turner has cancer of the esophagus. Pelosi intensely dislikes 35 year old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who was also running for the seat. So much for revitalizing the party.
In a meandering incoherent press conference at Mar-A-Lago Felonious Monk Trump said he'd be suing the Des Moines Register for publishing a poll that showed him losing by three points to Kamala 2 weeks before the election. "Not that I want to, but I have an obligation to."
President Musk's mother Maye appeared on Fox "News" and said poor people need to have babies whether they can afford them or not. "You don't have to go to the movies. You don't have to go out to dinner."
On Wednesday the walking liver spot Steve Bannon said MSNBC host Rachel Maddow should be put in prison. NJ Republican Congressman and MAGA nutjob Doug Mastriano posted a photo of a drone on a trailer being pulled by a pickup "to an undisclosed location." Ah ha! Here's the proof the government's lying! Less than 15 minutes later it was proven to be a replica of a Star Wars Millennium Falcon being hauled to a comics convention. Also Donnie nominated former NFL running back Herscel Walker to be the Ambassador to the Bahamas. 2 years ago when Walker was running for the United States senate for Georgia he said in a campaign speech "Did you know werewolves can kill vampires?" And the Hulk can kick the Sub-Mariner's ass. Revengeful former Congressman Kevin McCarthy pulled some strings and in a secret ballot got the House ethics committee to vote to release the full report on Max Headroom Matt Gaetz. Moses Mike Johnson tried to bury it last month but nay nay. Here are the things that will make it a must read: Sex trafficking of minors, bribery charges, cash payouts, and drug fueled orgies. Hubba hubba Bubba!
The 15 year old girl in Wisconsin who shot up and killed students at her religious high school was said to be a transgender maniac on the MAGA internet. 2 hours later it was discovered she was not that, but instead a far right transphobic white Christian Nationalist with ties to a 22 year old man in California who was detailing plans to wire himself up to be a human bomb. Death or glory is just another story!
Full diapers Trump declared that former Congresswoman Liz Cheney is in lot of trouble after a sham report was released by quack Congressman Barry Loudermilk. The report accuses Cheney of witness tampering of Stacey Hutchinson before the January 6th committee and plotting to frame Trump. One, most people are consulted before they testify and two, the day before the insurrection Loudermilk was giving tours of the Capitol to white men taking photos of the stairways and exits. Fee fi foe fat, I think I smell a rat.
And in a shameless act of celebrity butt kissing the Navy awarded Tom Cruise the Distinguished Public Service Award. They said his two Top Gun movies have inspired American soldiers all over the world. I think I need some air.
On Thursday America's Tantric Sex Swinger Marjorie Traitor Greene declared we must not let the assassination of the United Health Care CEO lead us to something as evil as Single Payer Health Care or Medicare for All. It was also the tenth day in a row stocks tanked on Wall Street after the felon in chief Trump rang the opening bell. Atlanta District Attorney Fani Willis was kicked off the RICO case of election interference against Trumpty Dumpty. The appellate judges were, guess, appointed by Republican governors. Hit my head and call me Shorty. I didn't see that coming.This doesn't kill the case, but it does add more months to it.
The continuing resolution to fund the government reached it's 48 hour deadline and President Musk declared that the government should be shut down and no action be taken until January 20th when the puppet takes the oath. While the battle continued for 2 days photos surfaced of Fat Nixon autographing made in China MAGA hats and playing golf at Mar-A-Lago. And in his annual statement to the world the real boss Vladimir Putin said he wished he had invaded Ukraine earlier than he did. Funny how that 3 day war has turned into 3 years, much to the anger of fascists like Sex Kitten Greene, the obnoxious Josh "Masculine Man running in fear" Hawley, and Shay D Vance.
Friday Trump decided the House and Senate should eliminate the federal debt ceiling on Uncle Joe Biden's term as part of the budget deal. This would allow Trump to gut Social Security and Medicare to pay for his tax cut for the upper one percent in America. The Republican Alabama Senator who lives in Florida, former college football coach Tommy Tuberville, said on Steve Bannon's podcast that food stamps needed to be eliminated and people "should get back to work!" Did you know that the two largest American businesses that have employees on food stamps are Walmart and McDonald's? And showing his disapproval of an increase in Social Security benefits North Carolina Republican Senator Thom Tillis threw a screaming fit on the Senate floor. Willis, by the way, has a net worth of over 12 million dollars. The budget was passed Friday evening despite President Musk saying he would primary any member of the GOP who voted for it. 170 of them did. Their days are numbered. Trump did not get his debt ceiling removed, and Musk didn't get his exemption for tax and trade restrictions with China. But after a cole slaw and fish stick dinner with Steve Bezos and President Musk at Mar-A-Lago Trump posted on Truth Social "EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND!" Well except Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell who said there would be no more reductions in the interest rate because inflation could go as high a 9 percent after the Mad Shitter's tariffs go into effect.
On Saturday Immigration Czar and thug Tom Homan told Fox "News" it will cost 86 billion dollars to deport all black and brown skinned people. But fear not because white nationalist and Trump advisor Steven Miller said we would get it all back as it will free up our "churches, funerals, and hospitals." I have no clue what that even means.
Today's "Meet the Press" was a Special Edition entitled "Finding Common Ground." The guests were Democratic Senator from Georgia Raphael Warnock and Republican Senator from Oklahoma James Lankford. They are both Baptist ministers. Lankford was the sponsor last summer of the immigration reform bill that Trump told his whipped Senators to kill because it took away his number one campaign issue. In my thirty plus years of watching "Meet The Press" I have never seen a more flatulous episode. Kumbaya. Leslie Gore singing "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows." We should all try to get along! We should listen to the people. Politics are not God. Faith can bridge the divide. Lankford said his faith effects the way he drives his car. Warnock says faith can bring families together. Lankford used the word "snarky." Warnock said his favorite Christmas song was "Oh Holy Night." My favorite Christmas song is Elvis Presley's "Santa Bring My Baby Back To Me." Kristen Welker wore red and black in honor of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
In sports news the annual Pop Tarts Bowl game is December 28 with the Iowa State Cyclones versus the Miami Hurricane. March 20th of next year sees the third season on Fox of "Farmer Wants a Wife: Revenge of the Sheep."
while you're living beyond all your means.
And the man in the suit has just bought a new car
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