It's Sunday with Dan | 2026 October 19 - Tuesday Edition

 

"Gosh, Batman! We could have been killed!" - Burt Ward 

"Or worse, Robin." - Adam West

1966 

 

Last Tuesday White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia gave the most scintillating 14 minutes of my recent life. She made up numbers and answered 3 questions. She has great hair and, like most MAGA wives, a rich white husband. She insisted she was a lawyer. So was Raymond Burr on "Perry Mason." 

Last Wednesday an appellate judge ruled the Orange Dictatortot couldn't ban CNN, MSNow, and Politico from covering the White House and America's sexual dynamo Stephen Miller said bite his crank. And take his wife, please. Pope Leo was diagnosed with lung cancer and the early speculation was the two packs of Winston's a day. Winston's taste good like a cigarette should. If you find a pack of Tareytons dm me.

Russia went apeshit on missiles against Ukraine and have you seen Heather Locklear lately? Good golly Miss Molly. $Kash Patel went to Russia as FBI director and they have vodka and whores. He's got on eye on security! Diaper Donnie is killing financially on pardon bribes and don't ask me about the interest rate on my savings account. So much for the rib eye steaks.

Thursday it was also revealed that chief of staff Susan Willes daughter is a lobbyist for Communist European countries and that Katie Zacharia is now going straight to senior porn like Britney Spears. I never met the right girls. 

On Friday we found out the aging grifter Kimberly "Oh honey " Guilfoyle has a burn book about the entire Trump family and blackmail is a viable occupation. I'll buy the first edition and a pint of Old Crow. 

 Sunday was my weekly water torture of "Meet The Press." I need stronger pot. Pastor Raphael Warnock was first and his major statement was the adjudicated rapist was a crook and had to go. And they are making another version of "Miami Vice." Great. When's the next Bloodrock reunion tour? Of course the fashion model Kristen Welker asked Raphael 3 times if he was going to run for president. And am I going to be bombarded by gamma rays and become the Hulk. Has Joan Crawford risen from the grave? 

Next on all pastor day was James Lankford from Oklahoma. He loves Jesus and Donnie Trump. My favorite answer was "Only God knows." Ya think? 

The best news all weekend is that it's not a war in Iran or Ukraine. It's a "conflict." They have cost each of us 4 thousand dollars apiece and the meter is still running! 

41 year old Alina "I'd rather be pretty than smart " Habba married a 27 year old stoned fool, and Tampa Bay and Milwaukee will play in the World Series. 

On an important note I'm going to the Mercy Hospital surgery center next Monday for my hernia but they promised pot laced brownies. 

 

 

By Silverfish Imperatrix, whose incorrupted eye
Sees through the charms of doctors and their wives

~Blue Öyster Cult~