Donald F Trump 10-24-26
The Gun Club
Last Monday I found out that the over-40-year-old former Trump attorney Alina "I'd rather be pretty than smart because I can fake being smart," Habba married a 27-year-old Turkish millionaire. Third time lucky? I quit betting years ago. Orange Jesus announced a pajama party in December with Putin and President Xi to "solve" the "conflict " in Ukraine. You think they would invite Zelenskyy.
Last Tuesday and Wednesday were relatively quiet, but Thursday was action packed. Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath's staff was moving Dwight Eisenhower's World War Two strategy globe and dropped it . It shattered, but the press release said no one was injured. Thank God! Troops and diplomats were being evacuated from our posts in the Middle East, but there was no room for family members. Sorry Charlie. We don't want tuna with good taste. We want tuna that tastes good. Department of Justice head Todd Blanche said they will investigate all the elections Republicans lose in the midterms. ICE is now being reported going door to door looking for immigrants who would risk prison time by trying to vote. FEMA issued a memo to every state saying it would no longer give aid for natural disasters so start saving your pocket change. We need that money for the Arc de Trump and the public golf course he's destroying in Washington DC. Sex machine Corey Lewandowski is being investigated for corruption by taking kickbacks during his tenure wit the DHS. Is he still cutting the cake with the miracle of surgery Kristi Noem?
On Friday Trump declared he'll find a way to run again in 2028. Republican Governor candidate Joe Mitchell of Iowa gave Cankles Caligula a plaque declaring the adjudicated rapist the "Man of the Century." No fooling. How many times can one man get his ass kissed in one life? Elon Musk turned off the Starlink to Ukraine to allow Kyiv to be bombarded by Russian missiles with no warning. Elon is a rot in Hades bastard. Just my opinion.
Sunday brought us "Meet The Press " and Kristen Welker was wearing glasses looking very Clark Kent. First was the big board and Steve Kornacki with poll numbers out the wazoo. I hate polls because they are a roll of the dice. Steve was, as usual, jacked up on Mountain Dew. Blah blah blah. Next was the smug slapdick Adam Schiff. He really knows how to smirk. He gives California Democrats a bad image. He used the word "circumspection." Everything costs too much. Todd Blanche is full of beans. Trump is evil, and Megyn Kelly retains the title of America's Coldest Bitch. Next was Republican Mike Rogers, rrunning for the Senate in Michigan. He's a former Congressman and I can see why the key word is "former." My favorite moment was when asked if he was MAGA and he answered "I can't hear you." Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are tools of Satan. He doesn't want Canadian trash in our landfills. I'll take their Labatt's. They build Chevrolets in Mexico but they are coming back to Detroit. Once his opponent El-Sayed was mentioned he screamed Muslim brotherhood, Hamas, and Hezbollah. Then Mike started yelling and accused Kristen of twisting the truth. He called her a liar and said "I was in the FBI!" Radicals hate America and Trix are for kids. Finally it was Michigan Democratic Governor Gretchen Witmer. She's a millionaire insurance company heiress, so you know you can trust her. She told Kristen Uncle Joe Biden wasn't perfect but he wasn't ramen noodles, either. Then in our weekly ritual Kristen asked Gretchen three times if she was going to run for president. "Time will tell." And then it was over. I did a happy dance and then watched the Kansas City Chiefs stink on wheat. 3 points won't win you many games.
Enjoy the World Series while you can because the clock ticks on it. The Milwaukee Brewers look like Godzilla in Tokyo.
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