It's Sunday with Dan | 2026 June 14

 

"I love this inflation. The numbers are great!" - Donald F Trump 6-10-2026 

"Why would I pay for something that I don't even want for free." - Hydra

What a week. Grab a beverage. 

Last Sunday Israel fired missiles into Beirut. Iran fired missiles into Israel. Rapey McFraud was pissed. 

On Monday Woozy Winks went to the New York Knicks playoff game at Madison Square Garden. A 5 block radius was closed and the Secret Service closed off all the block parties in the area. Why does a presidential motorcade need 8 vehicles? The Knicks lost for the first time since April. Diaper Donnie stuffed his ravenous pie hole with french fries and pizza, then slept through the second and third quarters, and he was booed during the National Anthem. His disgusting granddaughter Kai almost cried, but that would require emotion besides greed. Trump’s new blonde doll baby Natalie Harp was there and we need odds on her becoming wife number four. She's no Stephanie Clifford aka Stormy Daniels. Fox edited out the boos and inserted USA chants. Fair and balanced. The budget for ICE and Border Patrol is now larger than that of the Russian military. Jeffrey Epstein's moll and fixer Leslie Groff told woman beater James "Foghorn Leghorn" Comer she had no idea Epstein was scum and she never saw him do anything wrong or rude. Former MTV reality actor Spencer Pratt lost in the mayoral primary in Los Angeles and Sausage Fingers said it was rigged. While Full Depends attended the basketball game American military pilots were floating in the ocean after their helicopter was shot down by an Iranian drone. The adjudicated rapist didn't care. 

Also on Tuesday attention whore Nancy Mace came in fifth in the South Carolina governor primary and will soon model her augmented breasts at Bennie's Boom Boom Room. A lap dance will cost extra. The only survivor in the GOP who voted for the release of the Epstein files is handsy Lauren Boebert. Courts ruled that Donnie's name be removed from the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. We can kiss the marble armrests Trumpty Dumpty was going to install on our dime goodbye. Before he was assassinated Charlie "Prove Me Wrong" Kirk was told by Orange Jesus to cancel his talk about releasing the Epstein files. After Graham Plantner won his primary for the Senate in Maine Mormon Senator Mike Lee said, "Hitler is happy." Hey! I thought Platner was a Socialist, not a Nazi. Trump said we had sent 22 ships through the Strait of Hormuz because it was at night and they had their lights off. Bill Gates testified in another closed door session on the Hill and said Jeffrey Epstein tried to blackmail him. Gates was reportedly not open and combative. 

On Thursday the Pentagon was put under lock-down due to an "air quality issue." Secretary of War, Rape, and Scotch Petey Kegsbreath showed up in the bag and hurled all over the floor. US Attorney Jay Clayton was nominated by Diaper Donnie to be the new Director of National Intelligence and Clayton immediately began crowing about election fraud in California. Sleep tight tonight! 

On Friday the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act expired and the ability of the Feds to spy on you will now be more difficult. Damn. SpaceX was put on the stock market and the initial sales made Elon "Failed Penile Implant" Musk the world's first trillionaire. But still the Johnny Appleseed of sperm refuses to pay child support. 19 and counting. Gwenyth Paltrow is now making advertisements for condos in Isreali captured lands in Gaza. Skyscrapers on graves. Trump's renovated reflective pool is now filled with algae. King Midas in reverse. 

On Sunday this day in history is Flag Day, the first anniversary of the No Kings protests, and Donnie turns 80 years old. With the privates of a 3 year old. Today "under God" was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954. Sorry if you're a Muslim. 

It was now time for coffee and "Meet the Press." Our first guest was corporate Democrat Hakeem Jeffries. He's bought and paid for by Wall Street and AIPAC. He's a liberal, not. Trump says a peace deal with Iran is near and it's a " memorandum of understanding." This is like "concepts of a plan." We had a peace plan but Trump hates Barack Hussain Obama so he got rid of it. Iran is now stronger and America is less safe. Will the Democrats flip seats in November in the House! Hakeem said that was easy peasy. The top one percent of Americans have 31 percent of the money, and the rest of us are eating crumbs off the table. I like mine with chips and French onion dip. How do you know if an onion is French? By the way it kisses. The American Dream is just that. A dream. If Hakeem was a beverage he'd be Coke Zero. And like all New Yorkers he has a stiff for the champion Knicks. 

Next was a double header of Baptist ministers and senators. Republican James Lankford from Dwight Twilley's Oklahoma reminds me that more people would be atheists if they had holidays. Most news is social media scuttle butt, and we can't let Iran fund terrorism. The World Cup is a threat to American safety, and Jay Clayton is a stud that everybody likes. All elections will be decided by the voters and Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico wants open borders and more crime. And you thought Moses Mike Johnson was God's Chosen Liar. 

Then there was an advertisement for Avstedo. It will control your body quivers but it also leads to suicidal thoughts. Take the bitter with the sweet, buttercup. 

Finally it was Baptist minister number two Democratic Senator Raphael Warnock from Georgia. He has a new book. He said the Supreme Court sucks. He said Mushroom Winkie is taking America to the bottom and ain't it great? As far as character goes in politicians, we all need to check ourselves. Stay away from mirrors. The mirror doesn't lie unless you're Demi "No Wrinkles " Moore. The Republicans will interfere with the elections in November. Ask blonde bombshell Tina Peters from Colorado. And again the beautiful Kristen Welker asked her favorite question. Will Raphael run for president? Three times as always and she is such a one trick pony. The answer was "No, no, and no." He then had to talk about kitchen table issues. My kitchen table issue is it's your turn to wash the dishes and I'll take a beer while you're up. 

Trump is going to the G 7 meeting in France so breathe through your mouth not your nose. 

RIP Gene Shalit. 

Another season of "Big Brother " begins July 19th and Julie Chen is still married to sexual harasser Leslie Moonves because he pays her. In every dream home a heartache. 

Now the same MAGA ass-hats who ruined CBS News will buy CNN and Kaitlyn Collins will be fired. Donnie says she never smiles. 

 

The power crazy leaders
Who control your very fate 
They would twist your will
Steal your life and sell your soul away
If you're drifting or wandering lost
You're the perfect target for the double cross

~MC5~

 

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You may also visit Dan at danhefner.substack.com