Yesterday the adjudicated rapist Donnie F Trump said the ruined paint and algae in the reflecting "lake " was the result of sabotage and poisoning by members of the radical left lunatics and antifa. Me, you, and Philip Michael Thomas didn't know that.
"I need me a safe cracker with a hundred pounds of TNT. I need me a safe cracker to open up your heart for me." - The Hoodoo Rhythm Devils
Last Sunday the Prime Minister of Pakistan said a peace deal had been reached between Sausage Fingers and the Ayatollah of Iran. And Lydia Lunch is the Queen of Siam. UFC turdbag won his fight at the White House by cold clocking his opponent in the second round. He was then interviewed by quisling Joe "Uncle Fester" Rogan and declared on Paramount Plus TV that Michelle Obama "was a man!" He asked the crowd if they agreed with him and 80 percent did. Not my crowd.
On Monday the statistics were released and God's Chosen Liar Moses Mike Johnson, the missing Keebler elf, has a higher crime rate in his Louisiana district than New York City. The 60 day ceasefire deal was revealed and Mushroom Winkie folded like bed sheets out of the dryer. The billions of dollars spent and lives lost meant nothing. You can't out crazy people who are crazier than you. I tried that for a year with a girlfriend in 2001. Lessons learned.
The Department of Revenge/Justice is investigating California Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom and his wife for possible tax evasion and failure to spray their cat for fleas. Orange Jesus went to France for the G7 meeting. He got handsy with President Macron's blonde wife and told Macron the UFC trailer debacle the night before at the White House was "more important than the World Cup." Many people told him that. Or was it the voices in his pudding brain?
Trump has nominated Smokey Eye Shady Vance to be the sacrificial lamb for the Iran deal. And Rapey McFraud said on July 4th he will hold the greatest Trump rally ever held on the ellipse. The Village People, Lee Greenwood, and Little Anthony and the Imperials will perform. Billy Ray Cyrus is busy combing his hair or else he'd be there for the free coney dogs and Pabst Blue Ribbons. An American B-52 crashed and all the passengers died. Cankles Caligula said nothing because if you die on a military plane you're a sucker and a loser.The homosexual rape cover up representative Jim Jordan led a delegation to visit Ghislaine Maxwell's celebrity prison and said the food was superb. Can I have more cottage cheese? With red pepper?
On Tuesday the news broke that sex bomb One Eyed Kash Patel had a million-dollar slush fund to pay an elite "Revenge Squad " of FBI agents to break the legs of rats in the organization who spill the beans on his rampant alcoholism and Viagra use. Early Times has a stiffy. The taxpayers' bill for the Golden Ballroom is now 300 million. But we're cutting Social Security. Priorities kids! The Man of Bronzer gave a presser at the G7. I watched for an hour and a half and Holy God. No men in women's sports and no transgender for everyone. What happened to blonde Daughter of Christ Erika "buy me a cocktail " Kirk? She's a great an actress as Joan Crawford. Mascara King Shady Vance gave a press conference and he insulted reporters while laughing as he did it. Vance has all the charm of the cat passing gas in the elevator. Are farts lumpy? The Department of Revenge/Justice now has 3 other plans to sneak in the 1,776 million dollars for the Thug Fund because Enrique Tarrio and Stewart Rhodes need the money to pay for legal bills and porn. Do not rent "Grinding Grannies." The president of Italy called First Whore and Third Wife Melania Trump a liar. By the way Marshmallow Mateys are a great, nutritious cereal. In milk or out of the bag like Cracker Jacks!
Today in Switzerland JD Vance, Miniature Marco Rubio, real estate broker Steven Witkoff, and Jared "Sonny Drysdale" Kushner are negotiating the peace deal with Iran. This isn't even the junior varsity team. We are getting screwed and it's not even fun. Unfortunately in MAGA Hillbilly Heaven this morning, "Meet the Press" was basically not on. It was time for Doppler Radar. It appears 2 1/2 hours north there was a fossil cloud in Possum Holler and strong winds in Who Gives A Shit, Missouri. I stopped taking notes and grabbed a cup of Joe with a side of Jim Beam. Oh well. It was bought and paid for Senator Corey Booker and former Trump Secretary of Defense under his first term. Booker is a fake liberal and the former Secretary of Defense said he didn't know about the "peace deal " with Iran. F me running! I'd rather hear your opinions. It rained at my penthouse apartment for 17 minutes and my record collection is intact.
In sports news the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup and the New York Knicks are the NBA champions.
"Toy Story 5" premiers in 2 weeks and the Supergirl movie looks like a stinker in its previews.
Jimmy Kimmel is on vacation for two months but I'll still be on duty.
Rupert Murdoch bought Roku, and you could win a dream date with "Box of Wine" Jeanine Pirro.
Well it sounds like a long song coming buddy, listen, buddy
We got better things to listen to.
~Bob Seger~
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You may also visit Dan at danhefner.substack.com
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