It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 October 12

 "This morning before I came in here, somebody showed me a TikTok video of a pregnant woman, eight months pregnant. She is an associate professor at Columbia Medical School, and she said "F Trump" and gobbling Tylenol with her baby in her placenta."  RFK Jr 10-9-25

 "I've got to go back to where I started from" - The Box of Frogs

After last Sunday's dispatch Your Favorite President Donnie addressed the Naval Academy. He was all over the scatological road, confusing years, events, and his own quotes from the past. He threatened the GOP on what would happen when he was no longer around. He got to say "Barack Hussain Obama." He told the seamen " You've got salt water in your veins. Salt water in your veins. Don't let the doctors take it away."

On Monday Russian asset and pod-caster Benny Johnson who shadows ICE Barbie Kristi Noem asked her if there will be an increased presence by ICE at the Super Bowl since Puerto Rican singer Bad Bunny will be performing at halftime? The adulterer replied "we will be all over the Super Bowl." Is the NFL sending a message with this musical choice? Botox face said " They are so lame!"

Sex criminal Ghislaine Maxwell's appeal for her conviction to be overturned was denied by the Supreme Court. Cankles Caligula then told the press he had forgotten all about her, but he would ask the corrupt Attorney General Pammy Jo Bondi about a possible pardon. Scratch my back and you know the rest. He then lied and said he was directly negotiating on health care reform, and God's Chosen Liar, Moses Mike Johnson, got nervous and left the room.

Tuesday was the festival of the annual Happy Hockey Day as the NHL season began. One Eyed Weirdo $Kash Patel and the National Guard arrived for the head-knocking party in Chicago where the streets flow with the blood of out of control crime. Not really. In Memphis 320 were arrested with camera crews in helicopters filming the highlights. Pammy Jo Bondi testified for 5 hours before the Senate and refused to answer questions. She did though yell and insult every Democratic Senator with a series of previously scripted lines. And to think that she got stood up at the altar once.

Wednesday saw former FBI director James Comey arraigned in federal court for the crime of pissing off Poopy Pants Donnie. The crack prosecution team was led by Lindsey Halligan, who has never done this before. But she passed Donnie's test because she was previously the third runner up for Miss Colorado. True, not a joke. Israel and Hamas agreed on a tentative cease fire and hostage release plan, and immediately the Mango Mussolini claimed full credit.

Thursday Donnie added to his peace prize accomplishments by bombing an innocent Columbian fishing boat, killing all aboard. The White House said they were really drug smugglers, and that the president of Columbia was full of shit for saying otherwise. New York Attorney General Letitcia James was indicted, another person on the Commander in Thief's hit list. She filed a mortgage request wrong. Another bold move by our former third runner up for Miss Colorado. "She's got so much clit she don't need no balls" L7. Trump said the stores in Portland, Oregon have no windows and ICE Barbie Kristi Noem said she personally caught the girlfriend of the Kingpin of Antifa. Wow! Now we will catch the entire imaginary organization! A lower court put a stay on Army troops advancing on Chicago, and Man Baby Trump broke more dishes in anger at the White House.

Secretary of Scotch and War Petey Kegsbreath said Qatar is going to build an air force base in Idaho. It will house 15 jet fighter airplanes and train alongside United States airmen. See what the gift of a 747 and the promise of a Trump golf course In Qatar will get you? Scratch my back, part two. The color blind citizens of Idaho will surely embrace their new neighbors and encourage dating!

Come Friday it was the announcement of the Nobel Peace Prize winner for this year and shockingly it wasn't Vienna Sausage Fingers. It went to a Latin woman! The nerve of those people from across the pond! Russell Vought, the head of the Office of Management and Budget, announced he would begin firing government employees ASAP. There's no money with this pesky government shutdown. Third Wife First Whore Melania told the press that she has total access to Big Daddy Vladdy Putin in her role of Queen of All Children. Basketball Ankles Trump had his physical results released and guess what? He is in " excellent overall health," is 6 foot four inches tall, and weighs 224 pounds. And " has more bones than any other previous president." I did not make that up.

Trump also announced he was going to increase the tariffs on China another 100 percent. This caused the stock market to tank, and in better news 19 billion dollars of crypto currency was lost. Gone. Forever. Pass the tissues and dry your eyes.

Saturday began with the picture of health leaving the White House to go play golf at his club on our dime. And there was a mass firing at the Center for Disease Control effectively ending all virus research. Smoke and drink more, kids, because your days are numbered anyway.

"Meet The Press" began this morning with Trump at the resolute desk in the Oval Office and the headline "Peacemaker." Here we go. First was Smokey Eye Shady Vance. Peace in Mississippi? How about Gaza? Vance immediately ripped NBC for not showing video of Trump being cheered in the state of Israel by citizens in the square of protests after Bennie "Fuck You" Netanyahu had been booed.Trump sent in corrupt business hacks Steve Witkoff and Jerald "Mr Ivanka" Kushner to negotiate the deal between Israel and Hamas and that it was a stroke of genius. Trump is a genius. Trump is going to fly to greet the hostages and steal their thunder.Trump is a visionary and America should kiss his pasty white ass. Any troops we send in will be just to monitor civilian and military aid. Trump is beloved throughout the Middle East. On the government shutdown why doesn't Trump take more responsibility? Because in Obama's shutdown "that was different." This one is all Chuck Schumer's fault. Chuck and the ' far left." What fucking far left? Just pass the budget bill and we will talk the Affordable Health Care Act later. Why fire government workers? Just mention starving babies and unpaid soldiers! Will Trump takeover the country by declaring the Insurrection Act? Just watch, Kristen Welker. Try us says Vance, like he's Felix the Cat and his bag of tricks. ICE agents are being beat up and shot at! Crime statistics are not being kept right! The entire Democratic run states are burning to the ground. Vance should have sold used cars because he lies with total impunity like Moses Mike Johnson. Donnie is like Sylvester Stallone in "Judge Dredd." "I am the law!"

Next was Arizona Democratic Senator Mark Kelly. What about that Middle East? We will be watching closely. Will everybody cooperate? He doesn't know. Trump blows Netanyahu, but give Diaper his due we kind of got something done. The shutdown is all about the health care. We are talking about real insurance price increases here. Millions of people are one illness away from death or, worse yet, bankruptcy! Would Kelly vote to reopen the government if the GOP promises to look at the ACA latet? Hell no. Just renew the ACA or bite his crank. Let's just put everybody in the proverbial big room and hash things out. And maybe smoke some hash. Does Kelly have faith in the Department of Justice? Well, Pammy Jo Bondi is a legal whore, but he has faith in the legal system. In her new book Kamala Harris writes she didn't know if Kelly had the testicles to be her VP choice. What did he think of that? Kelly said best of luck with book sales. Then it was the same Kristen Welker question : Are you going to run for predictions? Kelly answered by saying why do you ask every guest that every week? Can that question, Ms Welker. Think of another redundant one, please.

Next was an ICE recruitment advertisement. Get paid to beat the snot out of people and we will pay you good money! Tackle teenage girls in the street!

Then it was time for our weekly Lindsey Graham segment. The "peace agreement" from Witkoff and Kushner is brilliant! Iran is weak, the Arab states like Trump, and so does Israel. Now we must crush Hezbollah and the Houthis. We will begrudgingly allow a Palestinian state, but the development of the West Bank will be a tippy toe dance. Should we give Ukraine long range missiles like President Zelenskyy wants? Yes says Lindsey. And more tariffs on those countries that buy Russian oil and gas. And then, out of nowhere, Lindsey said lesbian porn model Melania got 6 Ukrainian children released from being Russian prisoners! What? So she is the Queen of All Children! What about the government layoffs? Sorry. We need our limited funds for more golf trips and gold crap for the White House so it looks like a Saudi Arabian bordello. In case you forgot this entire shutdown can be be traced back to Uncle Joe Biden. Holy God on a pogo stick. James Comey is a lying turd who gets his just desserts, and then the interview ended with Graham laughing at Kristen before yelling at her.

Death may be your Santa Claus. In this week's example of the end is nigh NBC announced it's developing "Wordle : The Game Show" produced by the Man Who Can't Stop Laughing Jimmy Fallon. The defense rests.

RIP Diane Keaton. 

When I look over my shoulder
What do you think I see?
Some other cat lookin' over
His shoulder at me
And he's strange, sure is strange
~Donovan~