"What is a woman?" - Republican South Carolina Congresswoman Nancy Mace to Democratic Mayor of Washington DC Muriel Bowser 9-18-25.
Manic depression is a frustrating mess. - Jimi Hendrix.
Last Monday Whistledick Donnie F Trump declared that 300 million Americans died last year from drug overdoses. The population of the United States is 341 million as of January 2025. That means 4 of 5 people are dead. Are you okay?
The beautiful and hammered Jeanine Pirro said on Fox "The interest rate is higher than the Department of Defense." Pass the dutchie on the left hand side. South Korea canceled all trade deals with the United States and told Caligula Cankles to go pound sand. Smokey Eye Shady Vance said "It's a statistical fact most of the lunatics today are on the far left." The bastard Jeff Bezos fired the only female black columnist at the Washington Post because she printed actual quotes from the "New Jesus" Charlie Kirk. Diaper Donnie and Third Wife First Whore Melania fled to the United Kingdom for 2 days of parades and eating. Trump gave a rambling incoherent speech reading from a script that not only mentioned Shakespeare but also he's ended 7 wars in 6 months. My dog is better than your dog. Goofy Eyed Kash Patel testified before the Senate for 4 hours and yelled and dared people to pick a fight with him because he's a badass. The two senators from Missouri were vocal in their condemnation of the Democratic Party. Chickenshit Josh Hawley said white male Christians were being prosecuted and the rage filled Eric Schmidt read a script penned by a former Ron "Little Hitler" DeSantis aide that said "the Democrats celebrate murder." The breathless Alabama Senator Katis Britt , fearful of her own life and that of helpless unborn babies, said that men should not play in women's sports. Biscuits are hot. Shifty Adam Schiff asked Patel about all of his use of private government jets to go to hockey games with Mel Gibson. $Kash told him to bite his crank. The hearing was chaired by the 135 year old Chuck Grassley, who remembers when he roamed Utah with dinosaurs. $Kash yelled at Schiff " You are the biggest fraud to ever serve in the Senate!" Then the cute director of the FBI told us he was the best.
The hilarity continued on Wednesday as $Kash spent another 4 hours before the House. Democratic Congressman Jamie Raskin verbally undressed Patel with a retelling of his sad past and Patel yelled back at him. Every answer about the Jeffrey Epstein files was "Biden! Obama!" The gutless weasel Jim Jordan was the chair of this committee and he was his usual grandstanding self. Ask him about men being raped by the wrestling team physician. Funny Eye $Kash refused to answer questions by every Democrat and Republican Congresswoman Harriet Hagerman said every Indian reservation in South Dakota has been taken over by Mexican and Venezuelan drug cartels. Hokey Smoke Bullwinkle! Then the Republicans on the panel started talking again about Hillary Clinton's emails and Hunter Biden's laptop. Unfortunately Tantric Sex Kitten Marjorie Traitor Greene was not there to show her 6 foot by 4 foot photo of Hunter's money maker. He's licensed to carry a gun, but he packs a rod all the time. It was also leaked that former Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey will replace Patel in 90 days, and Patel will be the new ambassador to Nepal. Late night comedian and tv host Jimmy Kimmel was fired by ABC because he pissed off the incontinent titty baby and former director of the CDC Dr. Monarez told the Senate she was fired by RFK Jr because she would not lie about vaccines. And she wouldn't give the red faced moron a knob shine. The post of the day Friday on X was by End Wokeness who said our new threat is by "transgender terror cells." Look under your bed. Dementia Donnie declared antifa a terrorist group and if you find their headquarters call me. Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell lowered interest rates by a quarter of a percent, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics will no longer release inflation numbers because you don't need to fucking know. Moses Mike Johnson sent Congress home for 2 weeks and the government will collapse with no funding. In typical fashion the Man of Bronzer said " Who gives a shit?"
Today on "Meet The Press" host Kristen Welker was dressed in all purple. Yours truly had an acid flashback and saw Cesar Romero as the Joker on a 1966 "Batman." Our first guest was Democratic Governor of Pennsylvania Josh Shapiro. Wow. He could put coffee to sleep. He was as exciting as a Bad Company reunion tour and his house was firebombed by a nutjob several months ago. But please remember all violence is from the left. Can our nation heal it's factions? Only with Cortizone 10. Shapiro said we need to appeal to our " better angels." My favorite angel was Jacalyn Smith. ( Your gratuitous "Charlie's Angels" reference for this week) Diaper Donnie is happy Jimmy Kimmel got shitcanned and birds don't row boats. Shapiro didn't wear a tie but as always Kristen asked him 3 times if was going to run for president. No, no, and no. F me running.
Next was the man with the best hair in Kentucky Republican Senator Rand Paul. Several years ago Rand got into an argument with his next door neighbor on who was responsible for trimming the trees they shared. Rand got the living shit beat out of himself and had to have major reconstructive facial surgery. He doesn't look like Joan Rivers. Rand called the racist misogynist Charlie Kirk a " dear friend." Rand doesn't care about Jimmy Kimmel because Uncle Joe Biden censored everybody. I missed that. Rand also said Biden was evil and "an abomination." On the budget negotiations Rand said the Democrats want to cut defense spending and boost "welfare." Obviously we need more missiles and fewer bums. Thanks Rand! And what great hair!
In other news there will not be a dispatch next Sunday as I am moving my Sanctum Santorum. I will return in 2 weeks.
No one told him she didn't want to see him again
~Thin Lizzy~
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