It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 July 20

  "One year ago today, God miraculously spared the life of President Trump. And He is using him to lead our country back to greatness." - Speaker of the House Republican Moses Mike Johnson 7-14-25

  "I said to one guy, he's a very, very unattractive man, but he's smart and he's rich. And I said you better hope we get this passed because your wife will be gone within about two minutes." Donnie F. Trump speaking about the Big Beautiful Bill at the White House faith conference 7-14-25

Last Monday the Puffed Cheeto announced he was giving Big Daddy Vladdy Putin 50 days to end the war against Ukraine. If not he would then apply more tariffs and "double sanctions " against Russia. Feel the fear. The Supreme Court is now overruling Federal Trial Courts. This hastens the destruction of the Department of Education. The Higher Court has told Lower Courts to mind their own beeswax. Trump is our king. The adjudicated rapist told the meeting of "faith" and business leaders " You're very much into God."

The Jeffrey Epstein scandal will not go away, and now Ghislaine Maxwell wants a deal. She procured the teenage girls and ran a finishing school for sex. I have heard the tapes of women involved and it is beyond your most depraved thoughts. More on Maxwell later. 

Pervert Hoover posted that Rosie O'Donnell is a threat to America and he's going to revoke her citizenship. He said Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell is an idiot, and then crashed the stage at the FIFA World Soccer Championship Game. Trump has stolen the 250 thousand dollar trophy and the winning British team had to accept a replica.

On Tuesday Irene Ryan lookalike Republican Congresswoman Virginia Foxx squashed a motion to consider releasing the Epstein files. Foxx and tantric sex kitten Marjorie Traitor Greene should have a gavel bang off competition. Talk about the hammer of Thor. To send out the 16 requests for witnesses at the Uncle Joe Biden autopen investigation, subcommittee chair James " Foghorn Leghorn " Comer signed them with, ahem, an autopen. The vote to release the full Epstein report did make it to the full House and was defeated 211-210, with 9 Republicans abstaining. 

Wednesday saw the Senate kill 9 billion dollars in funding for public broadcasting and UNICEF by a 51-50 vote. The tiebreaker was Smokey Eye Shady Vance fresh from some afternoon delight with a chaise lounge. In a totally useless appearance on paid for Russian apologist ( over 100 thousand dollars  ) Benny Johnson's podcast Moses Mike Johnson said he was for the total disclosure of the Epstein files, even though he voted against it the day before. 

 

Also on Wednesday the slimey Donnie Jr announced a new company called Grabagun that brings firearm sales into the Doordash era. When you need a rod and you need it now! Shockingly the publicly traded stock tanked 36 hours later. What happened to Trump's cellphone company?  Remember that from 3 weeks ago? Then it was revealed that the video of Jeffrey Epstein's cell the night he was killed was heavily edited and is missing 5 minutes. The rapidly aging and increasingly strident Attorney General Blonde Justice Pammy Bondi told reporters to fuck off. She's busy fighting the war on drugs and deporting mass murdering immigrants. Funny, I quit smoking Lucky Strikes over 15 years ago but I smell something burning. At a baseball practice in Harlem for grade school students ICE agents staged a raid and asked all of the children of color the age old question "Who's your daddy?" The coach had to intervene and end the intimidation tactics. God bless Nosferatu Stephen Miller and Handsome Tom Homan. Now that's how we rid our nation of those undeserving yazminites! 

 

Israel is putting those American missiles to good use as they are now conducting 2 wars at the same time. Syria and the Gaza Strip are on the shit list. A very disturbing video with a woman named "Katie Johnson " describing being sexually attacked by the Mango Mussolini was put on the internet and my advice to you is proceed with caution. This is rough stuff, and I can't make jokes about this. Skilled ball handler and Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert said we should install a special prosecutor to investigate the Epstein affair and she thinks it should be Matt "I'll pay you, honey" Gaetz. Brilliant!  Who knows more about the ins and outs of sex with minors than the Botox Love God Matty the G? After watching Trump's appearance Thursday commentator Jen Taub described his makeup color as "burnt sienna." Wow! Now that's in the box of 64 Crayola crayons! 

 

Rupert Murdoch's Wall Street Journal published a news story about a birthday book compiled by Ghislaine Maxwell for Epstein's 50th birthday. In it are contributions by the disgusting Alan Dershowitz ( who claims he never had sex at Epstein's brothel because he hasn't had an erection since 1986 ) and Putin's sock puppet Donnie. Trump even sketched a naked girl to go with his free form exposition. Russell Brand says it's all bogus and he still trusts in the Mushroom Winkie. Remember Russell Brand is charged with 4 rapes in 2 countries. Don't even look at my sister,  Russell. 

 

Friday Trump announced he was suing Rupert Murdoch and the Wall Street Journal and Rupert said bring it on. Trump's swollen legs are being described as a lack of blood flow, but half a dozen doctors and registered nurses have since said it looks more like congestive heart failure. The White House physician Dr Vinny Boombatz said his Vienna sausage fingered hands look so bad because of "vigorous handshaking." Pete Davidson got carpel tunnel syndrome from masturbation. 

Remember George Santos? He said Friday " I don't care if I die in prison, I'll always support Donald J Trump." On Saturday the Angry Samoan Tulsi Gabbard crawled out from under her prayer rug and demanded an investigation into election interference by Hussain Obama, Crooked Hillary, and James Comey in the 2016 tilt. Pepe Le Pew hair has stitched together the same old song and dance disproved years ago by the Robert Muller report, but it gave Fox something to divert attention from Trump's impending house of cards collapse. Don't forget Tulsi calls herself a "Karma Yogi." 

 

As promised, here's the story on Ghislaine Maxwell's poker hand: If the Justice Department is closing the Epstein case, why is she in prison for 20 years? Riddle me that, Batman. Maxwell has the names of all involved.  The only person that knows more is Maurene Comey, who prosecuted both Maxwell and Epstein. And won. Oh, she was fired by Pammy at 5 pm Friday. Just like she fired the Department of Justice Ethics Advisor Friday, too. It's laughable but it's not funny.

 

"Jungle Love" Steve Miller has canceled his summer tour citing extreme weather conditions. I assumed it was the increase in liquor prices due to Trump's tariffs. Steve doesn't travel light. The Smurfs movie was released Friday, and for those of you going enjoy! 

 

"Meet The Press" was preempted by the final round of the British Open, but they were  advertising the return of Jessica Simpson on the "Today" show this week! And she's playing guitar!  Wait until you hear her version of "Stranglehold." 

RIP Connie Francis.

 

When you said it belonged to me, it made me stop and think

Then I noticed it was red and mine was baby pink

Then in walked Mary-Jane, her lipstick all a mess

You've been smooching my best friend, I guess the answer's yes

 

Lipstick on your collar told a tale on you yeah

Lipstick on your collar says you were untrue

Bet your bottom dollar you and I are through

Cause the lipstick on your collar told a tale on you