"Many people have said that you have saved the Western civilization" - Lara Trump to her father-in-law, Donnie "The Rapist " Trump on her Fox television program 7-11-25
"Some like it hot. Some like it cold. And some people just don't like it at all." - Lou Reed
Last week began with Laura Loomer posting that there aren't enough white people in television commercials. White person Kandace Taylor, a Republican running for the Senate from Georgia, said the severe flooding in Texas was caused by Democrats seeding the clouds. The Tantric Sex Kitten Marjorie Traitor Greene, later that day, introduced legislation to outlaw that. When asked about immigrant workers being arrested by ICE agents the Man with Tangerine Tits said "These people that bend over all day. I don't know many people that can do that."
On Tuesday Bennie "Fuck You " Netanyahu arrived in Washington DC and held talks with the Mango Mussolini for 2 days. Bennie nominated Donnie for the Nobel Peace Prize and had enough time to say the war with Palestine will never end. Thanks for the missiles, America!
On Wednesday a bill passed in a western Republican state that bans all transgender people from competing in sports and getting first dibs on white sales. It's named after the Cash Machine Riley Gaines. Google her. She tied for fifth in a competition with a shemale and now she's on a crusade. She only charges 10 thousand dollars an appearance. The Supreme Court ruled that Ron "Little Hitler " DeSantis cannot ban every foreigner from Florida and Uncle Joe Biden's doctor testified before a House committee on Biden's mental state during his presidency. The doctor pleaded the fifth, much like the vagina grabber Donnie, but this gave James "Foghorn Leghorn" Comer time to get precious TV air time. Please remember Comer has spousal abuse on his record. Go figure.
On Friday the Mushroom Winkie announced that we are in a trade war with Brazil. The current government of Brazil is prosecuting it's former leader who tried to lead a coup after he lost the election. So now our morning cup of Joe is going to cost 45 percent more because the Apricot Antichrist likes bastards.
In important news the Third Wife First Whore Melania Trump was seen in Texas and she's now blonde. On the press dais were Trumpty Dumpty, Governor "Hot Wheels" Abbott, and the aging nude porn model. Great tv if you're in the bag. Future porn model Megyn Kelly says Attorney General Pammy Bondi needs to be fired for lying about the Jeffrey Epstein files, and imitation tough guy Dan Bongino is going to quit his job as second in command at the FBI. Bongino, Nosferatu Stephen Miller, and "Uncle Fester" Joe Rogan all share the same hair stylist. David Vincent knows the Invaders are here.
Today's episode of "Meet The Press" was proof again that Kristen Welker is the worst moderator yours truly seen in over 45 years of watching this show. Screw me with a Murphy bed, she's worse than David "Jesus" Gregory. On the one year anniversary of the staged assassination attempt on Pervert Hoover our first guest was Death Camp Dream Doll Kristi Noem. Breaking news! Kristi Noem's husband moved out of their house over 4 years ago when he found out she was giving knob shines to Corey Lewandowski. Anything wrong said about the government's response to the devastating floods in Texas is a lie. Whistleblowers in FEMA need to be fired. Donnie Trump has the biggest drum kit in America. More than Billy Cobham. 120 people are dead and over 160 are missing in Texas but she's jailing one legged lunatic rapists. Alligator Auschwitz is a fucking paradise. Weather? Are you serious?
Next was Republican Senator from Wyoming John Barrasso. 13 people live in Wyoming. John told Kristen, dressed in purple, that all things are wonderful now. "It's the biggest tax cut in history!" Yes, for Brad Pitt and millionaire Bruce Wayne. The only people who will lose their health coverage will be those obese stoners watching reruns of "Swan's Crossing" for hours on end. Oh yeah, Pam "Stood Up at Her Wedding" Bondi is the best Attorney General ever pal!
So then when you thought it couldn't get worse it was Democratic Governor of Kentucky Andy Bashear. He's going to run for president? Tariffs are killing the bourbon business. We all need to be Caucasian and good looking. And is a suit with a haircut. Republican Representative Nancy Mace challenged California Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom to a debate and said "I'll take him on and his hair gel!" Gavin Newsom responded by saying:"Nice breast enhancement."
You know I was born to lose
And gambling is for fools
But that's the way I like it baby
I don't want to live forever
~ Motörhead ~
No comments:
Post a Comment