It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 June 15

 

"War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing." 

~ Edwin Starr ~

 

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to." 

~ Leslie Gore ~ 

 

"That's a stupid question!" 

~ Press Secretary Goldigger Sweet Karoline Leavitt ~ 

 

Happy Father's Day. Enjoy the wars.

 

Jake "The Snake" Tapper claims his Uncle Joe Biden scandal book has sold 150 thousand copies. Not so fast my fine feathered finks. Actual number is 70 thousand. Figures don't lie but liars figure. 

Greta Thunberg's boat of food and medical supplies headed for Palestine was hijacked in international waters by Israel. All of the supplies were confiscated and Greta and her colleagues were sent back to Europe. Thanks for playing! 

Protests in Los Angeles were hijacked by bad actors and 5 unmanned Waymo cars were set afire. 

Orange Julius Caesar held a business summit Monday and he told the assembled he was a genius and he has gotten so many things done. "I study business a lot." After lying at his confirmation hearing, Health and Human Services director RFK Jr fired all 17 members of the Center for Disease Control vaccine commission. The next day he replaced them with 8 quacks. "Are you a doctor?" "In some states." 

In 2020 when the LA Lakers won the NBA championship 76 people were arrested in the post game melee. After the first 3 nights of protests only 42 were arrested by the LA police.  Cue the Gang of Four " He'd Send in the Army." Tangerine Tits Trump sent in 4 thousand National Guard troops and 700 Marines. Never mind the Los Angeles police department has over one thousand officers. The protests themselves covered a 3 block area, but Fox has run the same loop of 5 cars burning for a week. Trump said the entire city would have been burned to the ground had he not intervened. 

Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath testified before the House on the Pentagon budget for the next fiscal year. After 4 months as head of the military he said it will total a trillion dollars, but he had no specific details. He mentioned China several times, but nary a word on Russia. You know, they are our pals.In 2 and a hours he used the word " warfighters" 4 times. "Warriors" was used 9 times and he tossed the word " lethality" around like it was a football. Old white Republicans praised him and Democrats gave him shit. His hair is styled daily at Jiffy Lube, and if you light a Marlboro near him you are risking an oil fire. He got into arguments and pointed his finger at people. And then he would smirk. What an engaging, intelligent chap he is. 

 

ICE Barbie Kristi "Sex Bomb" Noem appeared on Fox and told the thoroughly repulsive Sean Hannity that LA "is not a city of immigrants they're a city of criminals." Just ask Joe Mannix. The Mango Mussolini told the nation "Anyone protesting the military parade will be met with force!" On Truth Social he posted " IF YOU SPIT WE HIT!" 

 

Trumpty Dumpty and Petey Kegsbreath addressed the troops at Fort Bragg. Rolling Stone reported that only fit and trim soldiers could be in the televised camera shots. This is like posting a personal ad saying "No fat chicks." Trump gave another campaign speech and got the soldiers to boo Uncle Joe Biden and California Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom. Petey said if you want diversity and inclusion and "woke" ideology " go to college!" "We have restored the warrior ethos." Apparently under Biden the entire armed forces went gay. Also all the Army bases will go back to being named after Confederate generals because we can never forget our proud history of slavery. 

 

Ambassador to Israel and late night tv pitchman Mike Huckabee declared we no longer support a two state solution in Gaza. Huckabee said the Palestinians can go "find some other Muslim country to live in." 

 

Wednesday "Open Casket" Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent testified before the House and was as stand offish and aloof as ever. He said he was against the Affordable Care Act and smiled as he said it. He continued the lies of the One Big Beautiful Bill and said, per usual,  that 1.4 million illegal immigrants were on Medicaid. No one knows who they are, but that's not the point. If Trump's bill is not passed life as we know it will cease to exist. These tax cuts for the upper one percent of American taxpayers will make everything better. If you feel like you're getting pissed on that's trickle down economics. Trust him! He's a financial genius! Consumers don't pay more with tariffs and if you look up to the sky you will see pigs flying. The phrase that floored me was  "synthetic biology." Am I reading a Fantastic Four comic book? "In my hands I hold the Ultimate Nullifyer." Hey, it beat Galactus

 

On the same day Petey testified before the Senate and it didn't get any better. "DEI is dead!" The most interesting exchange was a fabulous "what if" game played by your boy Brylcreem Lindsey Graham. If Iran had nuclear weapons would they use them? What if Hamas had them? Al Quida? Can Thor beat the Silver Surfer? But Petey got to use the word " warfighters" a dozen more times. 

 

On Thursday California Democratic Senator Alex Pedilla tried to ask Homeland Security Action Figure Kristi Noem a question but was given the bum's rush by FBI arm-twisters. He was thrown to the ground and handcuffed. Kristi put on more lip gloss and went on Fox and claimed he had lunged at her. Watch the video. Kristi was lying,  but she's lied for years so it's water off a duck's back.  Two words: Corey Lewandowski. Bessent took his turn at the Senate and gave the ultimate answer to a yes or no question. "Will Trump's budget bill add to the deficit? " " It depends." My grade school buddy Dale Mitchell used to circle on the Weekly Reader answers true or false "or." Hey, he was never wrong! 

 

During the sixth inning of the St Louis Cardinals game Thursday night Israel started a war with Iran. A pre-emptive strike they called it. Okay. Since then Iran has fired missiles back and Trump takes undeserved credit. "I told them they had 60 days. Today is day 61." And if I wasn't wearing my good clothes I'd kick your ass.

 

Saturday saw two Minnesota Democratic lawmakers shot at. One and her husband died, the other and his wife are surviving, As of this writing the killer is on the loose. He left behind a manifesto, always recommended, and was (Shock!) a registered Republican. Guns don't kill people, unstable white men kill people. 

 

That was our lead topic today on "Meet The Press." Democratic Senator from Minnesota Amy Klobuchar was first. Several years ago she had the greatest description of Fat Nixon ever. 

"He's all foam and no beer." Amy said the assassin was "Clearly off balance." No fooling. In typical Kristen Welker hard nosed approach she asked Amy if she was scared. What the fuck do you think? 

 

Next was "Ayn" Rand Paul. The Republican Senator from Kentucky has had extensive facial surgery like dog killer Kristi Noem.  Unlike Kristi,  who wanted to look like a porn babe, Rand had to get fixed because his neighbor beat the living shit out of him over a land dispute. And Rand was mowing the lawn when it happened. I've lived a sheltered life. Nothing brings people together better than death, said Rand. Murder fever, catch it! He's not into getting involved with the Israel/Iran war. Not like Lindsey Graham who posted "Game on!" after the initial attacks. 

 

Did Pervert Hoover's vanity birthday parade yesterday inspire young people to join the service?  If you want to believe that go ahead. Over 50 million dollars spent and less than 10 thousand people attended.  Over a million protested nationwide yesterday on No Kings Day and it didn't cost a dime. But Karoline Leavitt swears that they have video of boxes of money being left for LA "rioters." Rand would vote for the adjudicated rapist's spending bill if it cut more money out. Food Stamps? Who needs 'em? Senator Pedilla shouldn't have been handcuffed, but neither should moms at school board meetings. Ya think? 

 

Finally it was Shifty Adam Schiff from California. How can we end all if this senseless violence? Sew skin tight costumes and fight crime at night. Kristi Noem said people were committing political theater. That's rich coming from the woman who has 17 different action costumes. Schiff called Trump a liar who's surrounded  by idiots. Give Israel guns and butter but please stay out of the war. Schiff is as compelling as a Sunday afternoon rerun of "Mama's Family."

 

In entertainment news the ads are already running for the return of " Big Brother " on CBS.  Your host is again the fabulous Julie Chen Moonves. Her husband Leslie was fired years ago by CBS for multiple charges of sexual harassment and abuse from his job as president. Julie found it in her faith in the Good Lord to stay with him. That and his net worth of 800 million dollars. 

 

RIP Sly Stone and Brian Wilson. 

 

Please love me, meet my mother. 

But the fear takes hold. 

Creeping up the stairs in the dark. 

Waiting for the death blow. 

 ~ The Cure ~ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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