It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 May 4

"He led a beautiful life, he had a wife. His second wife. It was a trophy wife. I don't like telling you everything but we're all friends, right? He had a trophy wife." 

    Donnie "The New Pope" Trump - University of Alabama Commencement Address 5-1-25

As the Vatican prepared for the election of a new Pope, last Monday statistics were released that showed the next pontiff averaging mentioning Uncle Joe Biden 6 times a day. Goldigger Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt was only mentioning Biden an average of 5 times per press conference. In an interview with the idiotic Glenn Beck, after signing an Executive Order declaring all truck drivers must speak English, Poopy Pants said his great achievements so far this term included banning restrictions on shower heads, banning paper straws, and banning men from participating in women's sports. Sean Hannity's own trophy wife Ainsley Earhart said on "Fox and Friends" that Hispanic truck drivers can't read traffic signs. That explains all the 18 wheelers you see barreling through stop signs and jackknifing making wrong turns.

Tuesday morning Amazon announced it would be posting tariff charges on its items for the public to see when they ordered. Goldigger Karoline Leavitt went full "Flame On!" Human Torch mode and screamed this was a "blatant hostile and political act" and that Amazon was plotting with Chinese propaganda groups. Within an hour titty baby was on the phone to Jeff Bezos and that policy was immediately canceled. You will still pay the tariffs, you just won't know the amount. Sweet Karoline was asked by Fox's lapdog Steve Doocy if there were going to be more judges arrested by the FBI and she replied with a smile "we'll see." 

Easily Bribed Attorney General Pammy Bondi announced she would allow raids on houses without warrants if terrorists are suspected to be hiding there. And Leavitt held the first press briefing restricted to right wing podcasters and writers. The star of the show was Cambrey Nelson of the America First Institute. Last year for a week she posted columns about the moon being stolen or destroyed because she hadn't seen it at night. I did not make that up. Nelson's question was as a "nuts and bolts type who was into policy" what type of things should she ask. Wow. But the capper to Tuesday was the rally before 3 thousand people in a third filled auditorium in Macomb County, Michigan to celebrate Orange Jesus' 100 days in office.  Here we go. "Companies are coming back by the tens." Biden was awful. The woke transgender policies are gone. Any Republican who votes against him needs to go. Democrats want a 58 percent tax increase. The stock market is up 88%. This is the Golden Age. "You're fired!" Kamala Harris and the radical left lunatics all cheat. Terrorist arrests are up 655 percent. Border crossings are down 99.9 percent. Only 3 people got in last month.  Gas is $1.98 a gallon. Eggs are down 87 percent. Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell is a turd. Do we call him Crooked Joe or Sleepy Joe? Gulf of America! Columbus Day is back! Tariffs are genius! Biden is terrible! Blah blah blah for an hour and a half. How many times will we hear his greatest hits? Is this another Mike Love "Beach Boys" tour? Be true to your school just like you would to your girl. 

Wednesday's excitement was another televised cabinet meeting where Pammy Bondi, Smokey Eye Shady Vance, and Elon Musk made fools of themselves. 

Then came Thursday. The art of the steal. Ukraine and the US announced an agreement worth 175 billion dollars in rare earth materials to be split just to make the Apricot Antichrist feel like a king. Rare Earth was a band I saw too many times on television doing Motown songs. Your love is fading. I can feel it fade (echo echo echo). The Senate rejected a bill that would have limited Trumpty Dumpty's ability to tariff Canada, Mexico,  and China. And there were May Day protests across the nation. 

 

Also Thursday Trump fired Michael Waltz as National Security Advisor and then four hours later moved him to United Nations representative. It was also the National Day of Faith at the White House and excuse my laughter. They got a crowd to sing spirituals, but absent was Nosferatu Steven Miller. Did you know he casts no reflection in a mirror?  Then, filled with McDonald's and Diet Coke, the Mango Mussolini addressed the students of the University of Alabama. He ranted more about transgender athletes and did his tasteless female weightlifter imitation that he and 14 other people find funny. And he announced there would be no more money for NPR and PBS. Go pound sand "Austin City Limits." They never showcased Lee Greenwood, those communist sons of bitches. 

Friday came and the spineless Hakeem Jeffries of the Democratic Congressional leadership said we should no longer concentrate on Kilmar Abrego Garcia imprisoned in El Salvador because "Trump's approval rating is down to 40 percent." Hakeem Jeffries is a worthless piece of shit. Trump's budget recommendations were sent to Congress and they would cut 163 billion dollars  from social programs and transfer it to the military and millionaire tax cuts. The Golden Age.  A report came out in the New York Times that painted a extremely disturbing portrait of Senator John Fedderman that basically said he should resign and go seek professional help. He has no friends and his wife doesn't speak to him. And Michigan Governor Gretchen Witmer's destruction tour continued with an appearance on "Pod Save America" that now has put her as irrelevant as California Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom.

 

In other events RIP Ruth Buzzi and Jill Soluble. 

 

My dark horse in the Kentucky Derby, Burgham Square, didn't win, place, or show. 

 

And in arts news the Donnie Trump led Kennedy Center has announced its first presentation. "The Passion of the Goober" is a one man show in two acts dedicated to the life of George Lindsay and portrayed by the iconic thespian Kevin Sorbo. There's not a dry eye in the house when it comes to "The Hee Haw Years." Melania in particular is thrilled at the chance to rub shoulders with the cultural elite!  

Hear him give his mighty call
Straight and narrow for one and all
Working for the right in the day and the night
Friend of the insane, Straight Arrow is his name

~ Spirit ~