"He had a motto. When they give you a putt you say 'Thank you very much.' You pick up your ball and you walk to the next hole. A lot of people are stupid. They say 'No, no, I insist on putting it.' And then they putt it, they miss it and their partner gets angry at them. You know what? Remember Sam Snead. When they give you a putt, you pick it up and you walk to the next hole and you say 'Thank you very much.'" - Donnie "Fabricated Story" Trump 5-12-25 (explaining to the White House press corps why he was accepting a Boeing 747 worth 400 million dollars from Qatar as a "gift.")
Thus last Monday began with that announcement. Attorney General Blonde Justice Pammy Bondi, formerly a lobbyist for Qatar who was paid 115 thousand dollars a month, said the gift was totally legal. It was then announced that Der Himmler had reduced tariffs on China to 30 percent for 90 days. The tiny fingered slob then signed an Executive Order telling Director of Health and Human Services RFK Jr to ask Big Pharma to reduce prices by 50 to 80 percent. But they aren't required to. It's just a request of an idea based upon a dream.
Tuesday Trump and his entourage began their Price Is Right tour of the Middle East. Howard Nutlick, sperm donor Leon Musk, Open Casket Scott Bessent, and the gang of misfit humans arrived in Saudi Arabia. At the opening conference Orange Jesus went the wrong way, had to be shown his seat, and then fell asleep during the opening ceremony. Meanwhile stateside 59 white Afrikaners arrived on our dime to relocate free of charge in America, Republican Senator from Utah Mike Lee introduced a bill to outlaw all pornographic videos and magazines, and the surgically perfect Kim Kardashian and her tremendous breasts and ass testified at her court case of being robbed. She was dressed in all Roy Orbison black. On Capitol Hill both Kristi Noem and RFK Jr testified and both argued and refused to answer questions. Adulterer Kristi behaved like Dyanne Thorne in "Ilsa She Wolf of the SS" and Bobby, Director of Health and Human Services, said "No one should take medical advice from me." Director of National Intelligence Tulsi "Pepe Le" Gabbard fired the top two officials under her because they said Valenzuelan gangsters were not government funded terrorists. Tulsi's hair was perfect, her makeup was thick, and her voice was commanding. Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren disclosed that unknown Chinese investors purchased 300 million dollars in Trump crypto coins.
Thursday the Man of Bronzer addressed American troops in Qatar and danced the double dick pulling dance to the Village People's "YMCA." The patriotic fervor was as thick as First Whore Melania's accent. Trump discussed how terrible Uncle Joe Biden was, how incredible his economic reforms were, and that Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy was not gay like Pete Butigieg but he was a five time tree climbing champion.
Friday 17 members of Mexican drug kingpin El Chapo's immediate family were allowed into the country via Tijuana. Don't tell Sexy Beast Border Czar Tom Homan. The Supreme Court ruled 7-2 to put a stay on the federal government from sending more arrested immigrants to El Salvador without due process. And Trump was asked about what he'd done to expedite a settlement between Russia and Ukraine and he blew up saying "Look at all the money I've made in just 3 days!" Walmart announced they would have to raise prices due to Trump tariffs causing Pervert Hoover to threaten them saying they should just eat the cost increases.
You're so fuckin' special, I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
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