Sherman, set the way back machine for the late 1990s/early to middle 2000s. There was a young man known as Roy Jones Jr. He was the Billy Bad Ass of professional boxers. He picked his fights and won them all. And in devastating fashion. He fought in 6 different weight classes and won world titles in 4 of them. He beat the Executioner Bernard Hopkins. He beat James Toney. He did so with a combination of speed and power that was a joy to behold. He was truly appointment viewing. But then, like all things, Father Time came knocking. Roy answered the door. Father Time told Roy he'd lost some of his speed and hence his power. He couldn't just stand there and slug toe to toe with younger men. He no longer had Plan A. What was Roy's Plan B? Alas, Roy had no Plan B. Now we are only left with fond memories of days and fights gone by.
Now we travel forward to the here and now. It's 2024 cats and kittens and we are now finding out that, like Roy Jones Jr, Donnie "Soggy Bottom Boy" Trump has no Plan B. He's got a bottle of aspirin and a sackful of jokes, and he wishes he could play with all the big folks. Let's dive into the week that was, shall we?
On the Fox "Business" channel host Neil Cavuto was told by Republican Senator John Kennedy that the world considers Democratic Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris a quote "ding dong." He called her a "ding dong" four times. He did not specify if she was a chocolate cream filled ding dong because that would have been beyond the pale. If you've never had the misfortune of seeing this southern senator picture Pat Buttrum as Mr Haney on "Green Acres." He's that over the top slimey.
On Tuesday Diaper Donnie told the childless Laura Ingraham that he hears that the Democrats want to expand the Supreme Court to up to 27 justices. And he added that Kamala has a "low IQ" and "the laugh of a crazy person." And Trump knows crazy! Look who he hangs out with. The likes of Steve Bannon, Steven "Brainiac" Miller, and Rudy "Wipe Out" Giuliani. Oh yeah, every sacrifice needs a lamb to behead before they drink the blood so the Heritage Foundation gave the bum's rush to Project 2025 director Paul Danz. Maybe people will stop paying attention to it, even though it's Trump's Mein Kampf for his next term.
Then came Wednesday and oh what a day it was. In another brilliant tactical move of rope a dope or a face plant of Roseanne Barr proportion, the Orange Jesus spoke to the National Association of Black Journalists in Chicago. Give me that old time racism cuz it's good enough for me! Trump insulted the moderators, told the black journalists in attendance that he had done more for black people in American history than perhaps Abraham Lincoln, and that the immigrants coming in from across the border are taking all of their jobs. Let it be known now that if you are black you can be replaced by a drug dealing rapist who can't speak English. You wanna know something else? Kamala is not even black! She's an Indian! And for good measure he threw in the old chestnut that Democrats kill babies after they're delivered! He then cut the appearance short after only 33 and a half minutes, and immediately told the press gallery at his next junket stop that he had knocked it out of the park. Papa don't take no mess. Especially from black women!
And this returns us to our original premise. The Mango Mussolini has no Plan B. With Biden out of the race his Plan A of Joe's too old is now kaput. All he has now is a remake of tired "She's a radical left lunatic" tropes. Throw in "She's black, she's a woman, and she's stupid" and that's the GOP platform in 25 words or less. C'est la vie say the old folks.
Then on Friday it was a stunning 24 prisoner, 7 countries involved exchange which brought home the jailed Wall Streer Journal reporter Evan Geiskovich, Marine Paul Whelan, and journalist Ursa Kiarmasheva from Russia back to the USA. If you're keeping score we got 16, Russia got 8, and it's rumored there were undisclosed draft picks and a hostage to be named later. And this was orchestrated by the out of it old fool Uncle Joe Biden. That sure didn't fit the accepted storyline, but Trump did say at a rally Saturday that Vladimir Putin had made out like a bandit. Because you know that Trump loves autocratic dictators like Lizzo loves the endless shrimp dinner at Red Lobster. Hey, you knew why they went bankrupt? More mouths than wallets. And in the hot button topic of this year's Summer Olympics, the hated Lithuanian boxer Imane Khelif was born a female at birth. She's had no gender changing surgery. She does have a higher testosterone count than is normal, but the only tournament she was booted out of was in Russia. By a Russian official. After she beat a Russian fighter. Read the facts and go back to bed. Don't get so bothered. Tell yourself that a year from now no one will remember, but you will have seen Simone Biles face more than you will have seen your own.
And in a final bid of advice to the destined for the footnotes of history JD Vance: When you're in a hole stop digging.
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