It's Sunday with Dan | 2024 June 16

Last Monday saw the convicted felon Donnie "You can't call me that" Trump meet with his probation officer on a virtual call from his overrated homestead Mar-A-Lago. This was to establish his history, finances, and mental state before his sentencing on July 11. You know, of course, he has never asked the Lord for forgiveness, he is a bazillionaire, and he has aced all cognitive mental tests. "Dog, camera, can opener, dildo." Now repeat that. And just forget that whole contrition thing! 

On his Blaze podcast noted gasbag Glenn Beck accused Bill Gates of sexual hijinks on Jeffrey Epstein's island. Beck then covered his ass by adding "I'm just saying." Secretary of State Anthony Blinken met with Israeli strongman Bennie Netanyahu and was basically told to go pound sand! Nobody tells Bennie how to run a war! Conservative know it all Jonathan Turley told Fox "News" Trump would not receive a prison sentence because he was an "elderly first time offender," which would look good on a resume.

 At 10:18 CDT Tuesday morning "The Price Is Right" was interrupted. And yuppers the Hunter Biden verdict was announced and it came as no shock. Hunter was convicted on all 3 gun charges and could serve up to 25 years. Upon hearing the verdict he shook his attorney's hand and then pulled out a 9 mm semi automatic pistol from under his suit coat, pointed it at the bailiff and yelled "I'm busting out of here, pal! This roscoe's loaded and I know how to use it!" The spin masters on Fox and Newsmax immediately cooked up an incredible tale that Hunter took the rap just to cover up the larger crimes of Uncle Joe. You know, the bribery money from Russia, China, and Ukraine. In other news the moon is made of cheese. 

On Wednesday the Washington Post interviewed the slimy Trump aide de camp Christopher Miller. Don't tell anybody but the GOP wants to bring back the draft. Yes, every 18 year old in high school will be required to take a military aptitude test before they receive their diploma. Then 3 years of service to "instill in them a pride of nation and service." Miller says this will give the Army a supply of young soldiers to be used in the deportation of immigrants. Makes perfect sense, you think?

Also Wednesday the House voted on party lines to hold Attorney General Merrick Garland in contempt over not releasing the audio tapes of Robert Hur's 5 hour interrogation of Uncle Joe. And no one cared. Russia flexed their muscles and sent warships and nuclear submarines to circle Cuba. Neener neener neener. 

Thursday the Supreme Court surprisingly ruled 9-0 to keep the medical abortion pill Mifepristone legal. And the skeevy Brent Cavanagh wrote the lead decision. But they soon reverted back to form and lifted the ban on bump stocks for guns. Potential mass shooters rejoiced. At the convention of the Southern Baptists the assembly voted to ban IVF treatments for its members. And they are now leading the push to bar women pastors. 13 million protestants can't be wrong. 

And Donnie Trump returned to the scene of the crime, Washington DC, and met with the Republican Senators and Congressmen at the Capitol Hill Club. He declared that everybody was in agreement with him and they were all supporting him. And our favorite nutjob from Georgia Marjorie Traitor Greene ran to the nearest TV camera to tell Trump picked her out personally to compliment and tell her to behave. What a loveable scamp she is! 

And Friday was a) National Flag Day and b) Donnie's 78th birthday. How much is that in dog years?

 

Today was Father's Day on " Meet The Press." If you were busy, I'll catch you up to speed. Peter Alexander was pinch hitting for Kristen Welker again, and he stepped right into a pile of MAGA shit with the hectoring Republican Congressman from Florida Byron Donalds. He stated that his party can cut off funding for federal jurisdictions. That the city of New York violated the constitutional rights of Donnie. He continues to peddle the falsehood that the prosecution never identified the nature of the crime until their final argument. This was all illegal election interference, and that it was Uncle Joe Biden who has violated the espionage act. America's in terrible shape. Inflation is at 20 percent (?), wage increases mean nothing, and then he attacked NBC News. Elections are rigged and despite statistics to the contrary crime is out of control. If Trump asked him to be VP would he accept?He stated he was extremely intelligent and a paragon of superior moral judgment. Of course he would! To paraphrase the late Norm Macdonald, the more I see this Donalds guy, the less I like him. He told Alexander a half dozen times "Let me finish!" Confidentially, does anyone think Trump would pick a black man as his running mate? Really? 

Next was California Democratic Representative Ro Khanna. He's another in a long line of politicians who answer questions with meandering nebulous nothings. This was basically 12 minutes of my life I'll never get back. He's not a total Biden ass kisser, but he really stands for the same things 1000 other people do. He wants a cease fire and the hostages returned in Gaza. Netanyahu needs to get off his war horse. When Netanyahu addresses Congress he won't attend. Vladimir Putin's peace plan for Ukraine is to claim a fifth of the country. Nay nay Jose. Young voters want a candidate with a vision. What about Hunter Biden's upcoming tax evasion trial? Ro says don't worry, be happy. What about the public's concern over Uncle Joe's mental acuity? Ro didn't answer. The Democrats need new blood. And bricks are heavy. 

Last we had the actor Michael Imperioli. He's on Broadway in a production of 1882's "Enemy of the People." It's a timeless classic. It's a dream come true to act on Broadway. The Tony Awards are tonight. For those of you into that I say enjoy! He said January 6th was fueled by lies and lust for power. A good story can make people think about things. We should not choose economics over science when it comes to the environment. If this was an answer to an essay question and worth 15 points I'd give him 8. I spent my entire academic career bullshitting through essay questions, if you couldn't tell. 

RIP to the great Jerry West. He passed last Thursday. I watched a lot of NBA basketball as a kid and he was a stud. I don't find it entertaining now, but 1960s-70s I saw a plethora of great players. Those were different times. 

 

They have pages, they take ages
To read and to learn they're heavy to carry
And easy to burn
Volumes have secrets, take them on holiday
Book them a room, save them a moment
Swallow their swoon 

~ The Church ~