Oh what a week it was. Monday the testimony of Donnie Trump's lawyer/bagman/fixer Michael Cohen continued in the Honey Hush Money trial. Try as they might, the Trump defense team did not break the icy cold matter of factly witness down. The most shocking revelation was Cohen has made 4 million dollars since confessing to lying under oath in 2018. It may have forever tainted his life, but he's not eating Van Camp's Beanie Weenies tonight.
After Cohen's 4 days of testifying ended Trump's Dollar General lawyer Todd Blanche brought out their ace in the hole shyster Robert Costello. The trial could not have ended on a worse note. Costello turned out to be a cantankerous fart. He rolled his eyes, loudly harrumphed his answers, and scowled at the judge. When chastised by the judge Costello gave him the stink eye. What an idiot. In my experiences with law enforcement officials you immediately learn how to behave. You know how you can never win an argument with your mother? Ditto.
Tuesday the fabulous Truth Social revealed it's first quarter earnings. Did you buy the stock? Shame on you if you did. They had a profit of 770 thousand while losing 330 million. That Trump is a business genius for sure!
The first of last week saw the release of security video showing modern male icon Sean "P. Diddy" Combs beating the shit out of his girlfriend and dragging her back to his hotel room. Combs lied about it for eight years and then once the video was seen by the world he issued a public apology like any worthless bastard would. Remember the great Dennis Miller joke about how no one ever found religion on Prom Night? Now it begs the timeless question. Is Diddy a punk ass bitch or a bitch ass punk?
On Thursday the Velvet Hammer Nikki Haley endorsed the convicted rapist Donnie Trump. Wow. It turns out she's just another political whore, no better than the unlikable Ted Cruz or the hypocritical Lindsay Graham. I guess when she told us the Mango Mussolini was unfit for office she was only pulling our leg.
The jurors in the Trump trial got the long holiday weekend off to receive death threats and will reconvene Tuesday to hear final arguments.
In the light of all of this and the NHL Conference Finals beginning we were granted another Special Edition of "Meet The Press." "Democracy at Stake!" Not as pressing as Ginger versus Mary Ann, but you get my drift. Kristen Welker held a round table discussion with 4 state attorney generals on election integrity in the year 2024. The "Love Boat" episode with Larry Linville and Ginger Rogers was more interesting. Take a No Doz and get ready.
Georgia Republican Brad Raffensberger said during the 2022 election they caught 1600 illegals trying to vote. But the "Left Wing" want illegals voting. His state is ready and photo IDs are required. His wife and daughter-in-law were threatened with physical violence. Could the thugs been part of the "Psychos for Trump" group?
Pennsylvania Republican Al Schmidt said all of his 67 counties were ready just like baked ham. Outside agitators are behind all the problems. One third of the people in his state say Joe Biden is not our legitimate president. But they have the capability to do 2 physical audits after any election.
Arizona Democrat Adrian Fontes said he is tired of the election deniers. He said they are the equivalent of domestic terrorists. Then should we call Trump the Ayatollah? Interesting.
Michigan Democrat Jocelyn Benson said more citizens have signed up to be election workers and, like Steven Seagal, they are now marked for death.
Illegal voters are a figment of the imagination and kids don't be fooled by artificial intelligence! I've been fueled by my own artificial intelligence since first grade. How do you think I crank this nonsense out every week.
In more news to add to your depression Kristen showed a poll that 49 percent of Americans say there will be violence after the 2024 presidential election. I've still got my trusty ball bat from my years of playing with the Effete Jazzbeaux softball team. Win or lose, we always enjoyed the post game activities. And last night Donnie addressed the National Libertarian Convention in Washington DC. He went over like the 1979 appearance of Milton Berle on "Saturday Night Live." Trump was booed off the stage and fist fights broke out. Good clean fun! Trump responded in his usual fashion by calling them losers. He's a charmer, that's for sure.
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