The total eclipse occurred last Monday. Of course there were the usual overreactions from the media and government. In the funniest one Bill Hemmer on Fox "News" declared that the border patrol in Texas was ready for a tumbling tide of illegals invading our nation during the 3 and a half minutes of darkness. He said this with a straight face. The grifting governor of Arkansas Sarah Huckabee Sanders declared a 2 week state of emergency, claiming that the overwhelming amount of tourist traffic would block the flow of commercial trucks. For 2 weeks. She took money out of the state's emergency weather funds. She really knows which way the grass grows.
Our favorite gasbag Marjorie Traitor Greene told the scummy Steve Bannon on his podcast that Ukraine is executing Catholic priests, and that Russia is a grand defender of Christianity. And she was sober this time.
Republican candidate for the Senate from Wisconsin Eric Hovde told his supporters that people in nursing homes should not be allowed to vote because they only have " 5 or 6 months to live."
On Tuesday the Arizona Supreme Court was visited by Mr. Peabody and Sherman. They set the way back machine for 1864 and ruled that year's anti-abortion law still was applicable. Arizona was still a territory and Abraham Lincoln hadn't been reelected president. Doctors would be charged with a felony and get 2 to 5 years in the Boy's Club with steel bars. Scary Kari Lake, running now for the Senate, has now reversed her previous position on this subject. The Arizonan now says in classic doublespeak that "it's not about banning abortions, it's about saving babies." Interpret that statement on your own.
Rita Palma is the campaign manager for Robert Kennedy Jr in New York. She told supporters at a rally that the prime goal was to siphon off enough voters from Uncle Joe Biden to let Donnie Trump sneak in for the win. The campaign did not respond with a follow up.
Allan Weisselberg, CFO of the Trump Organization, began serving a 5 month jail sentence for lying under oath in the civil fraud trial. But in good news Weisselberg shitcanned his lawyer, the Beautiful Alina Habba. She's currently on an 18 month losing streak. Think of the St Louis Blues.
After a week's absence "Meet The Press" returned and it continues it's slide into mediocrity. First was our familiar National Security Advisor John "King" Kirby. Iran launched 300 missiles and drones into Israel overnight, but the results were minimal as most were intercepted mid-air. Should Israel retaliate? Kirby answered without answering. Should Israel declare war? Kirby and Biden sure hope not. We need to negotiate, and the US will play defense but not offense. Does the vengeful Bennie Netanyahu have a cool and level head? Kirby answered with who's to say. These cats in national security are not what you would call loquacious.
Next was our old pal Republican Representative from Ohio Mike " Bachman" Turner. He really doesn't like Uncle Joe. He says our Middle East policy is lame and cowering. Without declaring war against Iran you could tell he would be ready to send our men and women there. Turner said we will support Israel in the inevitable war against Iran. And you know Diaper Donnie will tell everybody he could solve it in one day. Turner said that if Moses Mike Johnson would bring the foreign aid bill up to Congress it would pass easily. He hasn't talked to Moscow Marjorie.
Last but not least we had the Governor of Michigan Democrat Gretchen Whitmer. Hey, she's a woman so let's talk abortion! She came out with guns blazing like Sonny Crockett. Gretchen called Trump a liar. She called the Supreme Court Justices liars. It was great not to hear words like " untruths" and " misleading." She called Trump a habitual liar and that you couldn't believe a word coming from his piehole. Yup, the Muslims in Michigan aren't going to vote for Uncle Joe but you take your lumps and move on. She stopped short of calling Israel's acts in Gaza genocide. Remember 2 years ago when the rabid MAGA boys were going to kidnap and execute Gretchen? Funny how you get caught after you post your plans online.
Tackiest headline of last week was "The Juice Has Expired." The fun fact about O.J. Simpson was that when the civil case filed by the Brown and Goldman families was decided Simpson owed them 33 million dollars. He never paid a dime of it.
For those so inclined CBS is airing "Billy Joel the 100th Madison Square Garden Concert." Poetic genius :" The microphone smells like a beer." He will perform his fabulous song "Only the Good Die Young" which explains his own longevity.
"Full of glory never seen, they made it through the whole machine
To
never question anymore
Hypnotic trance they never saw
They walked in
line"
~Joy Division~
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