It's Sunday with Dan | 2024 April 07

In deference to the "path of totality" our weekly hour of flatulence and balderdash was canceled this week. "Meet The Press" was replaced by the higher rated English Premier League soccer. Would you rather watch liars and frauds or watch skinny white men in shorts kick a ball for 3 hours? NBC chose the latter. Call me the unwashed minority. Not the first time and certainly not the last.

Last Sunday on Resurrection Day Donnie Trump posted 77 times on X, and twice compared himself to Jesus Christ. All of America knows how unjustly the convicted rapist has been crucified. The washed up has been Lee Greenwood appeared on Newsmax and said the new bridge to replace the demolished Francis Scott Key bridge should be named after him because his song"God Bless the USA" is more historically important than the Star Spangled Banner. It's hard to be humble.

On Monday the Florida Supreme Court ruled that Ron "Little Hitler" DeSantis' law stands that abortions after 6 weeks are illegal and violators are subject to prison time. Also Missouri lawmakers introduced a bill that would lower the minimum working age to 14 years old. There goes all the jobs for the criminal illegal immigrants!

On Tuesday America's Greatest Liar Donnie Trump told a crowd in Grand Rapids Michigan that the immigrant that killed Ruby Garcia was a godless bastard and he had talked to her family and consoled them. 4 hours later the family of the deceased woman said Orange Jesus had neither talked to them nor expressed his condolences. Hey! It made for a good speech, damn it!

The Israeli Defense Force bombed on 3 separate strikes civilians working for the World's Central Kitchen and killed 8 innocent volunteers. Israel said they thought they saw a putty cat. They promptly dismissed 2 soldiers and reprimanded 3 more. When confronted by the world's press Bibi "Kiss My" Netanyahu said he preferred the Pixies version of "Que Sera Sera" over Doris Day's. Don't forget, if you criticize Bennie then you hate Jews. Really?

Donnie Trump found a sub prime lender to cover his bond in the New York civil fraud case on Monday, but on Wednesday it was rejected. It appears to be Don "The Christmas Poo" Hankey, who made his worth of 8 million dollars by swindling people on car and real estate loans with a 30 percent interest rate, did not have the actual cash on hand. Is this the old cliche of water seeking it's own level? The Bronzed Love God has until Friday to find another financial parachute.

Speaking of great Americans, on Thursday the Goddess Marjorie Traitor Greene told Tucker Carlson that Moses Mike Johnson was bought and paid for by the Democratic Party and Nancy Pelosi. Tantric Sex Marjorie said that the Bible thumping Moses was a weak sniveling puss puss.

This week's Hint From Heloise: If you're going to watch "Tucker Carlson Uncensored" on Elon Musk's X make sure you are really fucking stoned. Last week at Mar-A-Lago there was a fund raiser for election denier/ fascist Barbie Keri Lake and a hammered Rosanne Barr was filmed with a glass of Thunderbird telling people not to go to college and become Democrats who kill babies and drink blood. Strange brew.

RIP the great Joe Flaherty. He made me laugh and I live for laughs. That's why I watch the news. Oh yeah, Trump told Hugh " No Lips" Hewitt on his video podcast he wants Motorhead Joe drug tested because Joe is as high as Lou Reed in 1974.

 

Looked around on Wednesday and took in all the sights. 

The promised land they'd left to man had been ruined overnight. 

Peering through the portholes with teardrops in their eyes. 

The ship they took one last look at Thursday setting sunrise. 

Who wants the world?

~The Stranglers~