Last
week began with the Iowa Caucasian Caucus. White people from across the
state meet in high school cafeterias, bingo halls, and abandoned Piggly
Wigglies and put their votes in grocery bags that are dumped into
popcorn buckets and that's how they chose their presidential favorites.
Only 14 percent of the state's registered Republicans participated and
51 percent of them chose the slanderous Donnie Trump. Both he and the
media declared it to be a thunderous
victory. Just a minute, Sparky. 49 percent voted for somebody else. A
thunderous rout was the day before when the Green Bay Packers had a 27-0
lead over the Dallas Cowboys and it wasn't even halftime yet. The very
next day the diaper wearing sexual abuser said when elected king he
would revoke the broadcasting licenses of NBC and CNN because they did
not air his victory speech in its entirety.
The caucus also ended the
campaigns of the conspiracy spewing Vivek Ramaswamy and the Invisible
Man, Asa Hutchison. Ron "Little Hitler" DeSantis came in second and the
Velvet Hammer Nikki Haley finished third. Strangely Haley declared it
was now a two person contest. Huh? Nikki, you finished third. This must
be another example of the new math. Everything you know is wrong.
Trump
bosom buddy Roger Stone, he of the Richard Nixon tattoo and groovy
sunglasses, was caught on a tape recording from 2020 saying that
Democrats Eric Swalwell and Gerry Nadler needed to be murdered so people
would know the Republicans weren't fooling around. Do what you say, say
what you mean, one thing leads to another.
The civil trial on
settlement charges against Donnie Trump's defamation of E. Jean Carroll
began last week. The convicted rapist declared that she owed him money
for the harm she has imposed on his reputation. Diving deeper into the
muck was the inept behavior of his attorney Alina "Mirror Mirror on the
wall" Habba. Three times the proceedings had to be stopped because Habba
did not know how to introduce evidence nor did she know how to object.
She has never won a case for Donnie, yet she has been paid 3 and a half
million dollars by his political action committees. She graduated with a
C minus average from the Denny Crane law school. At one point she
yelled at the judge that she didn't like to be spoken to that way and
the judge told her to "sit down." To quote the great gone but not
forgotten band the Kingbees : " She can make up her face but she can't
make up her mind."
America's sweetheart Marjorie Traitor Greene declared
that Moses Mike Johnson is a dead man walking since he struck a deal
with the Democrats to keep funding the government through the next seven
weeks. But Mikey did say there will be no deal on the southern border
until Trump is dictator again. So there. It's a crisis but it will just
have to wait a year. You got chocolate in my peanut butter.
It was
another so-called special edition of " Meet The Press" this week with an
emphasis on the New Hampshire primary. Unlike Iowa it is not 85 percent
white. All across this great country of ours millions sighed in relief
as it was announced that Ron DeSantis had canceled his scheduled
appearance on the show. Instead we were treated with the appearance of
the affable governor of the state Republican Chris Sununu. He has
endorsed Nikki Haley but says that if Trump is the nominee he would vote
for him. He would vote for a Philly cheese steak over Biden because
Uncle Joe is on the verge of death and who, WHO, wants Kamala Harris to
be president? He does not think any president should be given total
immunity, but Kanye West spent 850 million dollars to have his teeth
replaced with titanium. When Kristen Welker asked him if Tim Scott's
endorsement of Trump was a big deal he answered "Who's Tim Scott?"
Coming in from the bullpen was replacement guest Democratic Senator
Maggie Hassan. It was obvious the Demoral had kicked in because her
smile just wouldn't stop. For whatever reason Uncle Joe decided not to
run in the New Hampshire primary, but 21 other candidates have. For all
you know you could be on the ballot. She did say the southern border was
not secure, but she agrees with the assessment that it hasn't been for
10 years. She did say Trump endorses political violence, election
denial, and is against a woman's right to choose. When Welker asked her
if Biden would win the state primary she answered "Yeah. Maybe. Sure."
'And while sun shines you'd better make hay
So if life is your table and fate is the wheel
Then let the chips fall where they may
In modern times, the modern way'
~Roxy Music~
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