Jesus just left Chicago and he's bound for New Orleans. But the lawgiver has arrived in Washington DC. Tuesday night the National Association of Christian Lawmakers met in DC at the Bible Museum. The keynote speaker was our leader of the House Mike "Covenant Eyes" Johnson. God has been speaking to him and told him America is in a "Red Sea" moment. And God has chosen him, Mr. Humble, to be our modern day Moses. Heavy is the load. "Touch not God's anointed." 1 Chronicles 16:22.
This week on X Marjorie Traitor Greene told Tucker "Forgotten" Carlson that the Democratic Party is the mirror image of Satan. Spineless Kevin McCarthy who stressed over and over that he would never give up gave up last week. The dethroned Republican Speaker said since he was no longer the Grand Poobah he was resigning from Congress at the end of the year. He lasted 10 months as the king, or the length of a NBA season. He departs with a suitcase of 11 million dollars he raised for his political action committee. Baby needs a new pair of shoes.
The fourth Republican Presidential debate was held last Wednesday moderated by Megyn "Forgotten #2" Kelly. The only thing accomplished was the witty and personable Vivek Ramaswamy set the world's record for uttering the most debunked conspiracy theories in 60 seconds. And he called Nikki "The Velvet Hammer" Haley stupid.
Friday it was announced that Vladimir Putin was running for reelection as President of Russia. His opponent will be the usual candidate, Nobody. Although his loss is Ivory Soap 99.9 percent preordained, he still has the catchiest slogans. "Nobody Will Win." "Nobody Has the Solutions." And the hands down winner "Nobody Loves You."
" Meet The Press" continued its series of white men in suits this week. The program began with the Mormon George Clooney, Mitt Romney. The Republican Senator from Utah is retiring with a tidy nest egg of 174 million dollars. Pass the Grey Poupon, please. When asked if we should take the authoritarian threats of Donnie Trump seriously Romney says betting people look at previous results. That means yes. Romney says Trump would surround himself with a rogues gallery of bootlickers and yes men that will heed his every revenge laden whim. He said despite son Hunter's career of evil, he doesn't see enough evidence to impeach Uncle Joe Biden. This undoubtedly sent Representative James "Foghorn Leghorn" into a stuttering frenzy. He did say the US should continue to provide support to Ukraine otherwise Putin and China's Xi will see the green light and go into their real life games of Risk. When asked if relatives of politicians should cash in on their connections Romney answered that we don't need laws to combat that. He stated we should all lead by example. That goes into the same empty bucket with "thoughts and prayers." He did speak the truth though when he said any political endorsement by him would be "the kiss of death."
Then it was a return to those less than thrilling days of yesteryear with yet another interview with Connecticut Democratic Senator Chris Murphy. I've seen him more this year than I have seen members of my own family. The worst advice he ever received was to speak his mind. You have seen weather forecasts more interesting. When asked if the whole combo plate of Ukraine/Israel/border security aid would pass by Christmas he would not answer. But he did blame the Republicans, to no one's surprise. And he then declared that if aid to Ukraine was not approved in 48 hours it would fall to Russia, and then it would be Katy bar the door. When he was asked about the cocaine addled legal problems of Hunter Biden he replied with a big slow down Sparky. Let us not forget that the male mannequin Jared Kushner bagged a cool 2 billion dollars from Saudi Arabia a mere thirty days after Daddy In Law Orange Jesus was evicted from the White House. No one ever talks about that. But for the most part his answers were as safe as milk and much less satisfying. Maybe that's his key to being on "Meet The Press" every other week. He can fill 15 minutes and he doesn't leave a mess.
For Christmas gift giving please consider the Barbra Streisand memoir "My Name is Barbra." It comes to 972 pages, or 48 hours on the audio book. Wow. And Donnie Trump is selling wrapping paper emblazoned with his Georgia mug shot for 35 dollars a roll. Stockings with the aforementioned mug shot are a steal ( pun intended) at 25 dollars each.
Taylor Swift was named Time magazine's Person of the Year last week. Trivia for the collector: The 1938 winner was Adolf Hitler. Wow number two. You probably thought I'd used up every brain I had. But mister once you've tried you'll swear that it ain't bad. It costs a thousand tears, and it will wear out your knees. But buddy that's okay. The heartaches are free.
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