This week saw the charge of misdemeanor reckless driving levied against international heartthrob Pete Davidson. In March he drove his vehicle into the side of a house. It's good to know that driving a car into a house is only a misdemeanor. In other breaking news from Tinsel Town, Kevin "We Talkin' 'Bout Cashbackin' " Hart has filed court papers to legally change his name to Old Yeller.
On today's special Father's Day edition of "Meet the Press" the sole guest was the former Vice President and Race Bannon lookalike Mike Pence. The highlight of his college career was, as president of his fraternity, the police were called to the house on noise complaints. Without prompting he took the officers directly downstairs to show them the illegal keg of beer stored there. What a pal.
Today he answered questions with his usual solemn pastor like serious demeanor. He believes the charges against Donnie " Love Machine" Trump are serious but he reserves judgment. In 2016 he stated the charges on Hillary Clinton's deleted emails disqualified her for serving as President. But Trump's charges for stolen classified documents do not meet the same standard. The Russian investigation was a waste of time and, when in doubt, simply say "Hunter Biden's laptop!" Any talk of imprisonment of Trump is bad because it divides the country.
In an attempt to curry the black vote he stated he wanted investigations of Black Lives Matter protests and possible prison time to avenge the millions of dollars in property damage. He said he was unapologetic-ally pro-life and was hip to the 6 week ban movement. I've never heard anyone apologize for being pro-life, but I don't get out much. He would deal with the national debt not by taxing corporations more but by cutting "entitlements." If you have Social Security and Medicare now you are okay. But if you are under, say 40, you are SOL. He then brought out the tried and true Biden Crime Family conspiracy. He says we are the laughingstock of the world and he would return us to the Top of the Pops. He currently stands at 4 per cent in the GOP polls, and I doubt if this performance will move the needle.
In a final consumer tip remember if you are at a public eatery and the Love Machine comes in and screams "Food for everyone!" don't believe a word.
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