"Broadcasters that are running hoaxes and the news divisions--also known as fake news-- have a chance now to correct before their license renewals come up. The law is clear. Broadcasters must operate in the public interest, and they will lose their license if they do not." - FCC Chairman Brendan Carr 3-14-26
"War can't give life. It can only take it away." - The Temptations/Edwin Starr
Last Sunday Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath appeared on the worthless "60 Minutes." When asked about our attack on Iran Petey said all options are open. Petey is a warfighter and an alcoholic rapist. Oil is now $116 hundred dollars a barrel and more American soldiers are dead. But Barron Trump still pays for sex. Like his daddy. Cankles Caligula said he won't sign a single bill until the SAVE act is passed because only white male high school drop outs should be allowed to vote.
On Monday the court ordered tariff refunds were addressed by Rapey McFraud and he said go pound sand. The Trump sons announced their new company that will produce drones for the military and get paid for by you. The co-investors have previous experience buying golf courses. True. Mushroom Winkie said Cuba was "at the end of the line." After Israel bombed Tehran's oil refineries it rained black water and filled the skies with cancerous smoke that will deform people for years. Thanks, Bennie "Fuck You" Netanyahu! You are definitely going to heaven now. Markwayne Mullin claimed to previously have been a "special agent" for the Department of Defense. Wow. "I Spy." Trumpty Dumpty had a 35 minute press conference at Mar-A-Lago and said oil tankers should "show some guts" and sail the Iranian controlled Strait of Hormuz. He said he should pick Iran's new Supreme Leader and that war victims are "walking around with no legs and no arms." We have lasers than can take out Iranian missiles. He loves China and he has saved the world. "The hard way is the easy way." Smokey Eye Shady Vance was "less enthusiastic about the war but enthusiastic" about the war on Iran. The parents of America's dead soldiers have told him to "finish the war, sir." And this isn't a war it's an excursion. And that's a Bomb Pop in my pants. Republican Congressman from Tennessee Andy Ogles said Muslims don't belong in society and Ears Tommy Tuberville agreed. Give me that old time religious persecution!
On Wednesday Missouri Republican Senator Josh "Masculinity" Hawley introduced a bill to outlaw the "Abortion Pill" because he's never had an erection in his life and women should be in the bed or in the kitchen. Tattooed Love God Petey Kegsbreath banned all press photographers from the Pentagon because they are printing "unflattering " pictures of him. Use less Lucky Tiger Hair Wax, pal. Trump went to Kentucky, held a propaganda speech, and did the double jerk off dance while he cranked "YMCA" over the loudspeakers.
On Thursday we found out the beautiful Alina Habba is working for Loveless Attorney General Pammy Jo Bondi and Alina told Greg Henry on Newsmax that only the adjudicated rapist had "The cahoots to go after" the Ayatollah. The 50 million dollars donated to the Trump Presidential Library is gone and no one knows where it went. Movie star and former lesbian porn model Melania "Why speak English" Trump told America that "Often alone at the top I always follow my passion " as a "visionary." Lemmy Kilmister: " They say it's rough at the top. It's rougher on the bottom." "Me sex for visa."
On Friday the Secretary of Excursion Petey said the new Ayatollah of Iran was injured and disfigured. Moses Mike Johnson said we are in danger of being under Sharia Law, and that he is still a closeted peter puffer. The most violent television of all week was Box of Wine Judge Jeanine Pirro yelling at reporters, pointing fingers, and pounding her podium after our pal conservative judge John Boasberg ruled her persecution of Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell had no evidence and dismissed it. Hell hath no Fury. "No one is above the law!" Except Jeanine's husband who Trump pardoned on bank fraud charges. 5000 soldiers are being deployed to Iran, and Orange Jesus says people die because "it's war." Trump then said the war will be over when " he feels it in his gut." And the United States attacked Kharg Island off the coast of Iran, blowing up military bases and oil refineries. Brilliant war strategy, Victor Von Doom.
The only highlight of Saturday was the epic Bugs Bunny cartoon "8 Ball Bunny " on tv at 8:50 am.
This morning it was time for a hit of legal herbal assistance and a pot of black coffee and "Meet the Press." Our first chowderhead was Energy Secretary Chris Wright. He had his script. Gas prices are up 25 percent but we won't be hit with a nuclear missile from Iran so take your lumps, bubba. We've totally destroyed Iran. Kristen Welker asked him when the economic pain will end for America and the world and Chris answered when the Arizona Cardinals win the Super Bowl. The released oil reserve will give us one percent of what we used to get from the Middle East, but screw you. Aren't you patriotic, ya Godless bastard? It's all Chuck Schumer's fault! And we're not kissing Big Daddy Vladdy Putin's ass, we're just licking his nipples by lifting sanctions on Russian oil sales. Trust Trump. Give me your wallet. Russia has lost so many soldiers in their attack of Ukraine. By the end of this interview I was looking to Heaven and crying like Erica "Pay me" Kirk.
Next was the preening smart ass California Democratic Senator Adam Schiff. Kristen asked if Iran was a threat to America. Shifty answered with a resounding 'f' no. The Trump dictatorship has given 5 different reasons for our objectives in Iran. I have 5 different reasons why I didn't marry the rich girl. Number one: I wasn't invited. Adam wants no more funding for ICE and that's the one smart thing he said all day. He then smirked and left.
Finally it was New York Times economic columnist Thomas Friedman who is light years smarter than me. True. The madman theory might work for once, he argued. Trump is insane. Iran is insane. Holy paranoia, Batman! Friedman did say The Man With Purple Hands loves Putin and any solution to the war on Ukraine will suck. The Quicklime Girl still plies her trade. Reduction of the many from the one.
The great Bert Campanaris celebrated his 92 birthday on 3-9.
I was flipping channels on my color TV Thursday night and I thought I saw Dog the Bounty Hunter. It turned out to be Marjorie Traitor Greene. And I was sober!
Tonight is the Oscars on free TV for the last time, and again they have snubbed Dolph Lundgren for the lifetime achievement award.
What are we doing?
Well, I'm sittin' in the back porch
On the north-west side of town
Picturing last night way up in the city
Where they shot my baby down
She could be dyin', oh, oh, no
Well, it can't much matter to you
I found her lyin', yeah, yeah, yeah
Near the ball park down at school
~Roy Wood's Wizzard~
On the north-west side of town
Picturing last night way up in the city
Where they shot my baby down
She could be dyin', oh, oh, no
Well, it can't much matter to you
I found her lyin', yeah, yeah, yeah
Near the ball park down at school
~Roy Wood's Wizzard~
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