"When I learned that her parents, and her father in particular, is like -- I hope he still is,
but I don't know -- was a tremendous Trump fan. He was all for Trump. Loved Trump."
Donald F Trump showing empathy on the shooting death of Renee Nicole Good - 1-20-26.
"She just sits and watches television. She's not the same since she's been through collision"
The Brains
Last Monday was Martin Luther King Jr Day and Rapey McFraud made no acknowledgement. But he did tell the prime minister of Norway that since he didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize he no longer cared about peace. Trump also said he must have Greenland and the Department of Revenge issued an arrest warrant for reporter Don Lemon. It was also announced that the fee for joining Trump's Bored of Peace would be a billion dollars, just like Dr Evll. Make your check payable to Mushroom Winkie.
On Tuesday America celebrated the first anniversary of Cankles Caligula's second term. The Wall Street Journal reported that American consumers paid 96 percent of the tariffs on imported goods. That came to 192 billion dollars last year. Brother, can you spare a dime? Nosferatu Stephen Miller issued an order that local and state police must stand down to ICE and border patrol and fake Christian Moses Mike Johnson went to London. No one knows why. Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi issued supoenas to Minnesota Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey for inciting insurrection. Felonious Monk delivered a 106 minute slobbering, slurred drone where he read about his achievements for his first year. He showed wanted posters of black and brown "terrorists" who had been arrested. Never mind Biden arrested them. Details are for fussbudgets. 3rd place Miss Colorado Lindsey Halligan was forced to finally quit as US Attorney of the Eastern District of Virginia or face losing her law license. And 3 time loser Pammy Jo Bondi said no court could force her to release the Jeffrey Epstein files.
On Wednesday the New York Stock Exchange crashed and in Davos the adjudicated rapist told Europe that Canada would not exist without us. Used car salesman and Secretary of Commerce Howard Nutlick was laughed out of his speech and a quarter of the crowd got up and walked out. Both Sweden and Denmark sold their US bonds and Rumpty Trumpty gave a 72 minute speech. I had no bourbon. He also said he had concepts of a plan of a framework for an agreement with Iceland...uh...Greenland. Sounds like the last time I tried to have sex 19 years ago. And we know how that turned out.
Thursday morning at 4 am CST Pervert Hoover introduced the 20 members of his Bored of Peace. Funny, they were all dictators or oligarchs. He was followed by the pretend Secretary of State Miniscule Marco Rubio and the husband of the surgically altered Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner. Jared is the Sonny Drysdale of foreign diplomacy. What hair oil does he use?
Homeland Security issued an eyes only memo saying agents didn't need judge signed warrants to invade private homes and assault people. Foghorn Leghorn James "I'll hit you again, bitch" Comer issued contempt of Congress orders for Bill and Hillary Clinton over his Epstein investigation. He doesn't need to talk to the demented man who can't control his bowels. Did you step on a duck? Special Prosecutor Jack Smith was on the witness stand for 7 hours in front of the House Judiciary Committee. It was chaired by the loathsome Jim Jordan. The man who covered up sexual assaults at Ohio State University when he was a wrestling coach laughed at his own sarcasm and fidgeted like a 3 year old. Deranged Jack was as cool as 1963 Sean Connery. Research showed that Vagina Neck Trump has called Smith "deranged" 185 times on Truth Social. Wow, the GOP has some insulting cupcakes. Chip Roy, Andy Biggs, Hill from Texas, Van Drew from New Jersey, Nehls from Texas, and Frey from South Carolina didn't ask questions as much as yell and call him a liar. These slapdicks make me look like Miss Manners. Smokey Eye Shady Vance went to Minneapolis and told the citizens they had better watch their ass. Little did we know.
On Friday the independent newspaper the Florida Bulldog released the entire Matt "Teenage Heartthrob" Gaetz ethics report. It's every thing you thought it was. Drugs, money, and 16 year old girls. I hope the sex was good, Matty! A 5 year old boy was set up by Greg Bovino and ICE to trap his immigrant father and the child was sent to a death camp in Texas. The four foot nothing Bovino then told the press he " knew how to deal with children." 7 Democratic House members voted to increase funding for DHS, Trump said Jack Smith needs to go to prison, and playboy FBI director $Kash Patel fired all senior officials who had investigated Trump. Then in an investigative report in the New York Times $Kash was quoted about security reports and he said "I don't read."
Then there was Saturday. "Today Earth Died" Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD. 37 year old Alex Pretti was held to the ground in Minneapolis and shot 11 times. He had a licensed concealed 9 mm semi automatic 45 weapon which he never touched. They took his weapon and then shot him 11 times. SS Greg Bovino, whore Kristi Noem, scum Smokey Eye, and Purple Hands Cankles all said Pretti was a domestic terrorist and the first and second amendment only matter when you are a white MAGA supporter. Otherwise you are dead meat and meet me at the morgue. Trump said no one should protest and we should all hate Somalians who ripped off the government. Kids we live in Hell. DHS will lead the murder investigation, and Corey Lewandowski will take time out from screwing Kristi Noem to take charge.
Today it was the underwhelming Kristen Welker and "Meet the Press." The first serial liar was Deputy Attorney General and former Trump lawyer Todd Blanche. In cases defending Sausage Fingers Todd has the same winning percentage as Alina "I feel pretty" Habba. Zero for the world. You have won as many cases. Blanche said this was not a peaceful protest. It's the local cops fault that a man is dead. There are 3 thousand armed government mercenaries in Minneapolis and only 600 local policemen. Don't believe the 6 different videos. It's sad, but fuck you and your eyes. Guns are great in the hands of untrained hotheads. It's open season on white people, too, so go home and don't get in the way of masked men with no IDs. Blanche said Alex's parents are liars, and the governor and mayor are terrorists. ICE agents are as pure as Ivory Soap, and when it comes to releasing the Epstein files "What? Me worry?" We will never see them.
Next was Minnesota Democratic Senator Amy Klobuchar. She's a "moderate" aka worthless. She wants to be good, is that not enough? Governor Walz says the DHS can't be trusted. Me and my invisible friend looked at each other and said "No shit?" Kristen asked Amy if ICE should be abolished. Amy answered kinda sorta, maybe baby. Amy then said welfare fraud is bad, but applesauce is good. We should jail cheaters and "improve the process." Thanks!
Lastly it was the slimey Democratic Senator from California Adam Schiff. He always wins at 3 card monte. Schiff did say Todd Blanche was as full of shit as Donnie's Depends, so I give him that. When it comes to funding ICE it's no mo' dough, Yakamo. DHS got an additional 170 million extra dollars in the Big Beautiful Bill, but surprisingly Kristi Noem has spent all of it already. Do you know how much costumes, 2 new private jets, and birth control costs these days? Watch "The Price Is Right." Because of this overflow of guests documentary producer Ken Burns was cut from the show. But rest assured he still has that haircut like Davy Jones in the Monkees.
Only one more week until the premiere of "Melania: The Movie." Buy your mushrooms now!
No comments:
Post a Comment