It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 December 28

 

"Americans overall -- all of us -- are going to earn 4.3 percent more money. We're making a raise." Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick on Fox.

And I'm wealthy and good looking. 

Last Monday we found out that America's Cruelest Attorney General Pammy Jo Bondi is in hot water like a hard boiled egg. Lying before Congress is not a good idea. "60 Minutes " canceled it's report on the El Salvador death camps 3 hours before it's airing because it didn't have a response by Nosferatu Stephen "Sexy Nazi" Miller. Diaper Donnie Trump threatened to close the Smithsonian Museum because they allow women and blacks to be acknowledged. The Jim Beam distillery in Kentucky announced it was closing for the year because sales are down 55 percent. "Tariffs are a beautiful thing!" FBI director and babe magnet $Kash Patel spent one million dollars of our money on a fleet of armored BMV subscribers. Unfortunately his winkie is still a Vienna Sausage. 

On Tuesday Donnie Two Scoops said the government cannot release the names of the male co conspirators of Jeffrey Epstein because "They are respected bankers and lawyers." The Supreme Court ruled a stay to delay the deployment of National Guard troops in Chicago . The lucky husband of lesbian porn model Melania Trump got pissed. 

On Wednesday the Department of Justice found another 1.7 million Epstein files that we will never see. Purple Hands Cankles Caligula canceled all offshore wind turbines because they interfered with military radar and we could be attacked by drones from China. And the Tooth Fairy doesn't work weekends. More people would be atheists if they had holidays. The new Donald Trump one dollar coin will have his face on both sides, so you can't flip it. Heads I win. Boom! 

Early Christmas morning Rapey McFraud posted over 150 things on Truth Social because 1) Melania cashed the check and 2) he was mad at Steven Colbert. The governor of Louisiana Jeff Landry was announced as our special envoy to Greenland. When he speaks they should have subtitles. He actually said that that nation will allow us to take them over once they've tasted good Cajun cooking. Alcoholic rapist Petey Kegsbreath is not allowed to have sex anymore so on Christmas Day the United States sent missiles to bomb Nigeria. They found Isis terrorists killing Baptists. I thought Isis had been destroyed by Whistledick during his first term? Christmas saw the Kansas City Chiefs lose again and they are leaving Arrowhead Stadium for a new barn across state lines. Money talks and bullshit walks. 

Friday was an earth shattering day as the 27 year old going on 40 Sweet Karoline Leavitt announced she was with child and taking a year's leave of absence. Things that make me wonder: Her millionaire husband is 64 years old. Cash or credit? Remember the wisdom of Popping Fresh. "Nothing says loving like a bun in the oven. 

Our favorite barrister Eileen Cannon ruled Friday that volume two of the Epstein files will be released "sometime." Today Vladimir Zelenskyy will meet with the senile pervert at Mar-A-Lago and Big Daddy Vladdy Putin will continue to bomb the living shit out of Kiev, Ukraine. 

This morning saw another rapidly anticipated "Special Edition " of "Meet The Press. " It was 53 minutes of "Meet The Moment" interviews. This is televised masturbation. It doesn't do anything for anybody else. Hoda Kotb cried. Mel Robbins is a motivational genius. Marcus Samuelsson is a fabulous immigrant chef. Jon Chu is a visionary film director. I have not seen either "Wicked" movie, but I'm an old man. I got out of bed for this? F me running. America's favorite harpy Ellen Degeneres ran out of cigarette money so she's now selling make up lotion on television. Hey! It worked for her! 

 

The people back in Nagasaki
They remember the day too well
When the big black eagle came flying around
Introduced them all to hell
And the people in Hiroshima
Hiroshima, mon amour
They remember when the children's hair fell out
And all their skin turned blue
Whatcha gonna do? 

~John Cale~