It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 August 17

"We're going to be redoing the parks, redoing the grass. You know, grass has a lifetime. Like people have a lifetime. And the lifetime of this grass is long. It's been gone, when you look at the parks. The grass is old, tired, exhausted. We're going to be redoing the grass with the finest grasses. I know a lot about grass because I own a lot of golf courses. And if you don't have good grass, you're not in business very long."  (Donnie F Trump 8-13-25)  

If you've a head for figures then you'd better count me out - Elvis Costello

Washington DC has its lowest crime rate in 30 years, but on Monday the 34 time convicted felon Mushroom Winkie declared all the numbers were false and the perpetually angry and drunk Judge Jeanine Pirro agreed. She yelled at the tv cameras and guzzled Franzia wine straight from the box. Trump has now instituted a military takeover of our nation's capital. In a city with a police force of 3500 officers there are now 200 National Guard troops, and over 900 FBI, CIA, Park Service, and Border Patrol agents are on the streets. On their first night they arrested 23 people. The White House posted their pictures. Gosh, they were all black.

As Trump announced this power grab he was flanked by the rapist Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath, Loveless Attorney General Pammy Jo "Stood up at the altar" Bondi, and the incredibly weird looking FBI director $Kash Patel. Trump said DC residents were being " mugged, raped, shot, and killed." But in what order? Country music singer Morgan Wallen once again declared that this is God's country, and the dicktatortot petitioned the Supreme Court to reauthorize racial profiling. Excluding Slovenian porn models and adult film stars with breast implants.

 

On Tuesday Trump announced the new head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics will be EJ Antoni, a fake accountant from Northern Illinois University and the Heritage Foundation who co-wrote Project 2025 and participated in the January 6th riot. He collects Nazi memorabilia. He is 23 years old. He wears 3 piece suits and looks like a young Mandrake the Magician. I promise that will be my most obscure reference this week. In wake of the wonderful tax breaks for the uber wealthy no workers are receiving raises but corporations are setting new records for stock buybacks, topping 1.1 trillion dollars. The Puffed Cheeto said he was forming a squad of 900 soldiers to be an elite strike force to quash protests and "riots" against him. Waste, fraud, and abuse. 

 

On Wednesday it was announced that the woman who taught 16 year old girls how to perform oral sex on Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, will be on a work release program at Club Fed in Texas since she agreed to clear Trump's involvement in the scandal. Your Favorite President also announced that due to public demand he will be the emcee for the presentation of the Trump/ Kennedy Awards this year. He chose the winners because he had to eliminate the "wokesters." Gloria Gaynor ( who had one hit song ) , Kiss ( " Room service, baby I could use a meal" ), and the robotic decoy posing as Sylvester Stallone will be among those honored. I hope Ace Freely shows up. Every time I've seen him on tv he's been as stoned as I was in 1983. 

 

On Thursday the two pump chump Trump held another dementia riddled press conference from the resolute desk in the White House. Grab a beverage. Woke and anti white museums disrespect him. Mexico and Canada do whatever he tells them to. He could care less that Brazil and Mexico are making trade deals with China. Inflation is solved. The United States has made trillions in tariffs " to be honest." Liberals will have to change their ways. Millions of people are on Social Security who don't deserve it. Elizabeth "I call her Pocahontas" Warren needs to be drug tested. Republicans Rick Scott, Markwayne "Rickybobby Sammyfreddie Spankybutt" Mullin, and Tim Burchette all said they were terrified to live in DC. It's like you're in "Mad Max." There is a prison break at Arkham Asylum in Gotham City. Border Czar Handsome Tom Homan says he carries a gun all the time living there. I thought his looks could kill! Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom held a rally to discuss his retaliation plans to redistrict his state and adulteress Kristi Noem sent ICE agents and Border Patrol thugs there to arrest people. Land of the free and home of the brave. 

Friday was more kicks and thrills. Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi said she was firing the black police commissioner of Washington DC and replacing her with the white male head of the DEA. That was later overruled in court. Don't worry, Pammy Jo will get her revenge. Just ask potential husband number number 3 who bailed. The inflation numbers released were so bad that as Maria Bartiromo read them live on Fox her porn actress quality lips quivered uncontrollably like a boxing speed bag being pummeled by Johhny Tapia in his drug fueled prime. 

 

Protests began in Anchorage, Alaska in advance of wanted war criminal Vladdy Putin's arrival to meet the Apricot Ayatollah and the best sign was "Putin Go Home and Take Your Orange Puppet With You." And Rolling Stone reported that the aforementioned piece of shit Donnie was furious that rape victims of Epstein, Maxwell, and himself were appearing on television. Trump has never expressed sympathy or shame for his involvement. But he has told people that all of these women are Democrats who are trying to make him, the God King, look bad.

 

Still to come in part two of this week's dispatch is the news of the meeting between master and slave in Alaska, the mass American protests Saturday against the tyranny of Victor Von Trump, and today's "Meet The Press." I have a previous commitment for a rare public appearance so the conclusion, with Hollywood updates, should be available no later than 9 pm. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

 

I will dance the night away
Living only for today
Both ends burning while you're counting sheep
Hell, who can sleep in this heat this night?

~ Roxy Music ~ 

 

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It's Sunday with Dan | 2025 August 17 (Part 2)  

 

 "Your mom ruined your family. She cheated on your father. She is a skank Don't get mad at me for speaking the truth about your slut mom Laura." - "BJ" Loomer 8-12-25 to Lauren Greene 8-12-25

 

"Pick me up on your way down" Was that sex offender Stonewall Jackson? 

 

For you fans at home the final score on Friday was War Criminal 70, Serial Rapist 0. Both of the aging impotent men arrived in their Dicky Doj jets. Shitsinpants could not walk a straight line on the red carpet. Then Stinky threw the reporters out of the room and had a secret confab with the former director of the KGB and 20 year StudPuppy of Russia. Guess who came out looking like your girlfriend?

 

Today was another enthralling morning of America's longest running television show "Meet The Press. " Our first guest to be put under the hot seat quisling Miniscule Marco Rubio. He's the Secretary of State . William Shatner is the greatest actor of our generation. Marco said: "Trump didn't rape women! And Joe Biden was Satan!" Next was the cat that grew a beard, Democratic Senator from Connecticut Chris Murphy. He was smart and boring as a rerun of "Three's Company." Murphy also said the epic lines of the Democratic Party. "We mean well." 

In a final cap to the telecast I wonder why after watching this show since the 1970s I am so let down like the fourth Blue Oyster Cult album?