It's Sunday with Dan | 2026 September 6

"You might not like the way he looks, you might not love his looks, you might not like his televised interviews. The suit he's wearing doesn't look so great." - Donald F Trump 4-2-26 on Texas Republican Governor candidate Ken Paxton 

"How do you know I'm to blame?" - The Lyres

Last Tuesday it was revealed that the USPS ballot system had been rushed and rigged. Army Secretary Dan Driscoll resigned because the Secretary of Endless Wars and serial rapist Petey Kegsbreath was an alcoholic idiot. 20 senior military directors have been fired from the Pentagon because they won't agree to his policy of lethality and warrior ethos. The United States bombed a wedding in Iran and killed over 50 innocent people. 

On Wednesday Scott "Open Casket" Bessent blamed our sucky economy on Elizabeth Warren and Uncle Joe Biden. Tarrant County in Texas closed 92 polling sites, and the USS Lincoln docked in Thailand after 286 days on sea outside Iran. The sailors, Marines, and airmen took shits and showers. 

On Thursday it was shown that Rapey McFraud had a gold plated phone on his resolute desk in the Oval Office. It turns out that psycho killer Barron "The Freak " Trump has mental issues and can't leave Melania's side. Don't cry for me, Argentina. Billionaire pedophile Leon Black defied a House subpoena to testify about the $1.8 million he paid our boy Jeffrey Epstein and sued James "Foghorn Leghorn" Comer, the head of the committee. Comer still beats women, by the way. Kentucky is proud to reelect him every 2 years. 

The biggest news on Thursday was the firing of conspiracist and Daisy Duck lookalike Marria "Lips" Bartiromo. She sent memos to Cankles Caligula every day and dyed her bangs. She is now 58 years old. Former Fox News president Roger Ailes said she was hired because business CEOs wanted to slide her their weasel. Easy come and easy come. 

On Friday the president of China visited the president of Egypt and we are jammed up the backdoor. Smokey Eye Shady Vance appeared on a religious podcast and said, "The end times are near." Is it tomorrow or just the end of time? The United States is refusing to pay benefits for dead soldiers and New Hair Color Sausage Fingers has dyed his hair plugs brunette. Natalie Harp puts his hair patches in. And lesbian porn model Melania Trump continues to bang the bellhop at Trump Tower. Donnie broke ground for his Arc De Trump in Washington, D.C. that will be over 275 feet tall. Without permission. You can't wear pink after labor day, and you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd. 

This weekend Mushroom Winkie is playing golf, on our dime, at Bedminster and Natalie Harp is there. Former Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachman said the problem in the Gaza Strip is not the relentless bombing by Bibi "The Butcher" Netanyahu but obesity because they have too much food. Put straw up my ass and call me a feather duster. 

Big Daddy Vladdy Putin met with Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner in Moscow and the two rich boys gargled the Kremlin sperm, and then they went to meet Vladimir Zelenskyy and he told them to get out. Heckyl and Jeckyl are our special envoys. If I wear the right clothes I look like Robert Conrad on "The Wild Wild West." 

Today Donald F Trump is playing golf with Fox News harpy Brent Baier. I'm watching Alex Witt's last broadcast and going back to bed. Today on "Meet The Press," we had Louisiana Republican Senator John Kennedy first. His accent is fake. You can find the evidence on YouTube. Now he is Mr Haney on "Green Acres." He went to college in the Ivy League. "I'll buy you a steak the size of a Ford Explorer!" The Republicans will sweep the midterm elections and experts are idiots. Life now is great in America and the middle class wants tax cuts like a hobo on a ham sandwich. Prices are gutting Americans like a fish, and it's all Uncle Joe Biden's fault. Putin has blood under his fingernails, and Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath is a tattooed covered genius. 

Then it was Jamie Raskin, Democratic Congressman from Maryland. He survived cancer. He's articulate and is Jell-O. He answered every question with "I can't talk about that now." Great. 

Alex Witt retires today and RIP Gloria Steinem. 

Gloria was an icon. We can't be free until we are all free. 

 

 

 

I'm wild about the way-out clothes you wear
Your pretty dresses, your teased-up hair
You laugh at me since I'm a-starin' at you
Honey, laugh at me, but you're lovin' it too
'Cause you're wild and I'm wild about you

~The Saints~