"We're going to have our very large United States put up companies,
the biggest anywhere in the world, to go in, spend billions of dollars
to fix the badly broken infrastructure, the oil infrastructure, and
start making money for the country."
Donald F Trump 1-3-26
"War can't give life. It can only take it away." - The Temptations/Edwin Starr
Smoke one if you have one.
Last Sunday Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy went to Mar-A-Lago and Dementia Donnie read him the list of demands that Big Daddy Vladdy Putin had and either swallow the pill or go home and die. Zelenskyy went home.
On Monday war criminal Bennie "Fuck You" Netanyahu came to the Roach Motel aka Mar-A-Lago and it was all candies and kisses. Bennie played Cankles like a vintage cassette deck and gave him another fake peace award. Hot air is free. Although Attorney General and Legal Whore Pammy Jo Bondi said $Kash Patel had caught the alleged pipe bomber of January 6th upon further review you find they have no actual evidence. Just a forced confession from a mentally challenged man. But he's black!
On Tuesday the awesome Sandy's Koufax turned 90 years old. Bob Gibson, Ferguson Jenkins, Juan Marichal. There were some stud baseball pitchers in the 1960s. And the game shows were better. It was revealed that border czar and unfuckable thug Tom Homan didn't have a background check so the 50 thousand dollar bribe he received was totally cool. And if you disagree with Tom he will pistol whip you like Lee Marvin on an episode of "M Squad." Midget Moses Mike Johnson told the Wall Street Journal the GOP Congress had an epic year and the CIA was found out to have led a drone strike last week in Venezuela. Mushroom Winkie said "It was at a deportment port where they deport." Bees make honey. There is only one concert scheduled for this new year at the Trump Trump Center for the Performing Arts. But what a show! Kid Rock, WangoTango Ted Nugent, and the electric Lee Greenwood will dazzle the crowd of 39 people! As it is revealed that the Minnesota child care fraud case designed to fuel more hatred for Somalians was discovered and solved 2 years ago, You Tube whistledick Nick Shipley ran victory laps after posting a gotcha video and was called a hero by Smokey Eye Shady Vance. Shady is still trying to use his sofa tricks on the beautiful martyr Erica Kirk. Health and Human Services said it was canceling all financial aide to child care services across the country because Christ and the Heritage Foundation told them to. The Wall Street Journal reported that Pervert Hoover used to send teenage girls from Mar-A-Lago to sexy Jeffrey Epstein's crib in Palm Beach. Once there the now decreased pedophile would rape them and send them back to the Trump Spa. Take a shower and shut the hell up. Sniveling shithook Jim Jordan released cherry picked quotes from Special Prosecutor Jack Smith but then the Democrats released the entire 9 hour testimony on video. Watch it. Smith wipes the floor with Jordan's pathetic ass. As Sonny Crockett once said " Nothing beats live testimony." Trump incited the January 6th insurrection and the proof is as clear as beer piss. And the Department of Justice found another 5 million documents in the Jeffrey Epstein case which means Pammy Jo Bondi and $Kash Patel both lied to Congress in their sworn testimony. But who's keeping score? Who watches the Watchmen?
On New Year's Day 22 million Americans lost their health insurance but more premature deaths will ease the burden on Social Security so take the bitter with the sweet. Not only does Pissy Pants Donnie take 4 times the recommended amount of aspirin every day because he wants " thin blood" but it also turns out the Happy Hacker spent 40 percent of his days as President on his golf courses. Many people would prefer it if he spent 100 percent and resign from the White House.
On Friday soft focus beauty queen Kari Lake appeared on Newsmax and said anyone who legally pursued Trump and his cohorts should be arrested and put in prison for life. Kari's job as director of the Voice of America didn't pan out so she's preparing for her new career starring in GILF porn videos. At 1:20 am Saturday morning the United States invaded Venezuela and kidnapped the President Nicholas Maduro and his wife. The White House immediately released a video of bombs blowing up buildings with Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son" playing as the soundtrack. Trump and his rouges gallery of criminals then held a press conference. Trump began by blowing his own horn. He slammed Uncle Joe Biden and Jimmy Carter. He could barely speak because the Adderall had worn off and he said " We
will run the country." He's giving the keys to the Buick to the American oil companies and they can run around like me stoned at a record store. "Everybody wants to be involved with the United States." Everybody is tickled pink living in Washington DC now, and every previous president was a pussy. Secretary of Scotch Petey Kegsbreath said America can impose it's will on any country in the world and no one can stop us. Dan "Raisin Bran" Caine told the world that our military is omnipotent. He has slightly more medals on his uniform than Petey has rape charges. Marco "The Simp" Rubio read his script like a robot and Maduro and his wife arrived last night in New York City and are being held in custody at SHIELD headquarters personally under the watchful eye of Nick Fury. When asked about the chance of the true winner of the last Venezuelan election Muchado taking over as leader Trump said the Nobel Peace Prize winner "didn't have the respect" to do the job. Shit, she only had 70 percent of the vote.
After all of this it was time for coffee and " Meet the Press." Leading off was the pretend Secretary of State Marco "Weasel" Rubio. We didn't need Congressional approval for war with Venezuela because it was a law enforcement operation. Who's the boss now? He didn't answer. The United States can do whatever it wants! Patrick Swayze says it's my way or the highway. Marco would only talk about a 2 to 3 month plan. We have no long game. It's one thing to marry somebody, but then you get up the next day and realize you have to live with this Pop Tart. "A holistic transition." I'm not intelligent enough to even know what that means. Kristen Welker asked Miniature Marco when there will be elections in Venezuela and he laughed. For America to take all of their oil is patriotic. Marco said next on the dance card is Cuba, followed by Mexico, Colombia, Greenland, and East St Louis. Thanks for your time, Marco!
How can you top that you ask? "Talk to you by hand" Hakeem Jeffries. He is the Congressman from AIPAC. The verbose chucklehead said the invasion was definitely a military action. Sharp eye, Green Arrow! Can we talk sense into Trump? Can you hypnotize chickens? He used the phrase "everyday Americans" 5 times. He's leading another January 6th investigation and I'm playing APBA baseball. I'll get more accomplished. Hakeem is yet another feckless, all foam and no beer Democratic leader.
Then it was time for the show headliner. It was not Taylor Swift, it was Marjorie Traitor Greene. She is on her reinvention tour and remember she's the child that had the pork chop tied around her neck so the dog would play with her. She retires tomorrow from politics after 5 years and 5 million dollars richer. Look it up. Full pension and lifetime health insurance. She talks like a populist but don't fret. She still hates gays, immigrants, and blacks! She will defend the first amendment forever so she has no problem with Nazi Nick Fuentes. Ted Cruz is a dick who doesn't like her and she could give a raccoon's left nut. She yelled at Kristen for misquoting her and the press and Democrats are as evil as cheap gin. She flashed her "Pick Me" grin and blissfully it was over.
"Tracker" is still America's highest rated television show which is why I watch "Harry O" reruns on ME TV. And last night on "Batman" it was the 1966 episode with Paul Revere and the Raiders playing at a rally for the Penguin's campaign for mayor. Some things are timeless.