When you're a jet, you're a jet all the way. From your first cigarette to your last dying day.
Stephen Sondheim - West Side Story
Last Monday began with America's Swinger, Marjorie Traitor Greene, comparing FEMA's hurricane response to Covid 19. Both are frauds perpetrated by Satanic Democrats. Well plant me now and dig me later.
In Bob Woodward's new book "Wars" it is revealed that Donnie Trump sent covid testing machinery and aid to lover Vladimir Putin before it was available to the American public. Putin told the incontinent one to keep it hush hush on the QT, but the rapist in charge said he didn't care. Do you think Trump is in the back pocket of every dictator known to modern man?
On Wednesday former "Dukes of Hazard" star John Schneider released his new song "Don't Donald the Trump." I give it a 95. Sample lyrics "You can Mark the Twain/You can Kurt the Cobain/You can Mickey the Mouse/But don't Donald the Trump." I've heard this song and I was stone cold sober.
Thursday the bronzed behemoth addressed the Detroit Economic Club. He told them their city was a piece of camel dung, and that any news organization that criticized him will be taken off the air when he's elected, and captured on air by the feed on RSBN he sharted his pants. You can hear it! Google it today and ask yourself is this the cat we want negotiating with Communist leaders? Post my seizure/coma incident 2 and a half years ago I suffered from that malady for 2 weeks. Suffice to say, it's worse than being stood up for the prom.
On Friday Arkansas Governor Sarah "Ozempic" Huckabee Sanders made headlines again as the federal government busted 2 Tyson chicken plants for employing 12 year olds on the slaughter lines. Green Forest and Rogers were the offending communities. Remember when Sarah rescinded the labor laws regarding minors 2 years ago? It was a great photo opportunity as she was surrounded by stone faced cherubs. Let's all party like it's 1906!
And on Friday Sean "Lubricant" Combs trial for sex trafficking and racketeering was set for May 5th. But hey, his mom showed up to vouch for him. Diddy's mom said he was kinky, but no more than any other male running for office. "I'll take incarcerated rappers for $200, Alex." And the Soggy Bottom Boy spoke in Aurora, Colorado and informed the citizens that their city had been taken over by Venezuelan gangs. Upon coronation as Supreme GodHead he will invoke the Alien Sedition Act of 1798 and if you are not white or a Scandinavian nude model you are being jailed, imprisoned, and deported. And if you come back you will be executed. Our friends at RSBN aired this yesterday. Google it while you can.
"Meet The Press " this week was a MAGA versus the GOP fun fest. Moses Mike Johnson led off the episode, and it was not as entertaining as a performance by Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters. The anointed one said he was not calling Congress back from recess to appropriate more money for disaster relief because wake up Kristen Welker they've got campaigns to run. It's election season, toots! Moses Mike said people could give a hoot about abortion rights. If you didn't know it's the economy and immigration that are on the tips of the tongues of all good Americans. It's speedy keen that Moses Mike can wash his hands by saying it's a states rights issue, just like slavery used to be. "I'm a Bible bleeding constitutional scholar." And I'm feisty without the tv remote. Moses went on to say that no one wants to know about Trump's medical health because they can all see he's a mental and physical marvel. Think of Jor-El, son of Krypton. Moses will respect the election as long as it's "free and fair." That's code for NO. Kristen didn't ask Mike if he was still monitoring his son's porn intake on his Covenant Eyes app. But they did yell and interrupt each other so it was a typical MAGA interview. My dog's better than your dog. Next was the role model for the old school Republican Party, Liz "Daughter of Dick" Cheney. Liz was the co-chair of the second Trump impeachment inquiry and for her effort she was voted out of office by the good folks of Wyoming. She was replaced by the Trump approved Aunt Harriet Hagerman. If you haven't seen her on CSAN take my word she's all tax cuts for the rich and guns for every teacher. Liz came out and said she had no faith in Moses Mike and unlike every tv talking head she did not use the despicable word misinformation. Cheney called Johnson and Trump liars and that was refreshing as hell. She'll never hold office again, but she doesn't sleep with Satan, so more power to her. She quoted Trump's hatchet man and felon Mike Flynn who said last week they would "unleash the gates of hell" on all their opponents post election. Cheney said she was still a Republican but she was voting for Harris because all Trump brings is "chaos and depravity." Think of late period Jim Morrison. Liz also called Trump a fascist and she had as much faith in the Supreme Court as she did Beyonce's next release to be a daring mix of opera and polka. At no point did she yell at Kristen, nor did she recommend anyone to go duck hunting with her father.
RIP last week to Ethyl Kennedy and Luis Tiant. The last survivors of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima 80 years ago were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize last week. The category was "Surviving a Fucking Atomic Bomb."
The long awaited return of "Tracker" is this week. Colten Shaw's first case this season is a harrowing 45 minute manhunt culminating in the rescue of Melania Trump from the top floor of Trump Tower in NYC.
And soon enough time will tell
about the circus and the wishing well.
And someone who will buy and sell for me.
Someone who will toll my bell.
And I continue to burn the same old lamp.
~Jimi Hendrix~