"You know, she's a young woman. I've known you for 10 years. You know you're not smiling because you know you're not telling the truth, you're very dishonest organization, and should be ashamed of you." Donald F Trump refusing to answer a question about Jeffrey Epstein victims to CNN's Kaitlin Collins - 2-3-26
On Monday the Wall Street Journal reported that in the latest release of Epstein files the names of 43 victims were revealed. But no men were revealed and no charges will be filed.
On
Tuesday photos were released showing National Security Director Tulsi
Gabbard participating in the FBI raid of the election offices in Fulton
County, Georgia. The Hindu surfer was wearing a cap and the usual pounds
of facial makeup. Acne scars are a bitch. Tulsi then flew to Puerto
Rico to seize voting machines. Venezuelan government officials are
allegedly controlling machines via Italian spy satellites. Okay. I'm not
stoned. The Department of Revenge and the FBI said they were scaling
back operations in Minneapolis, Minnesota but the locals told the press
they hadn't seen anything to prove it. New York Republican Congressman
Mike Lawler got booed out of a town hall meeting and became pissy. In a
new public service announcement Smokey the Bear declared Judge Jeanine
Pirro's hairspray coating was a fire hazard.
On
Wednesday the Apricot Antichrist said he wants to federalize national
elections and get rid of mail in ballots and early voting. The
Washington Post fired one third of it's staff, including their foreign
bureaus and the entire sports department. Tulsi Gabbard said she has the
authority to do whatever she wants and ICE will supervise the midterm
elections.
On Thursday
Cankles Caligula addressed the National Prayer Breakfast and turned it
into just another greatest hits speech. Don't forget he made it legal to
say Mery Christmas again. He rambled for 75 minutes. It's the Golden
Age. Overnight Trump then released an AI generated video depicting
Barack and Michelle Obama as monkeys. Press Secretary Goldigger Karoline
Leavitt said it wasn't racist and the media should report real news.
Karoline is 27 years old who's going on 55.
"Sharing the world with slaughtered pigs" - The Cure.
You
should always wear pants when you sit on Smokey Eye Shady Vance's
couch, if you know what I mean. The adjudicated rapist Donnie is
releasing ICE prisoners in Laredo, Texas and the Republican Governor
Greg "Death Dwarf" Abbott didn't know anything about it. Botox ICE
Barbie Kristi Noem announced she was revoking the asylum claims for 5
year old Liam Rios and his family because obviously they are foreign
scum. Orange Jesus told Chuckles Schumer he would release authorized
Gateway Tunnel funds if they name Dulles International Airport in
Washington DC and Penn Station in New York City after the Mushroom
Winkie. Woman beater James "Foghorn Leghorn" Comer said Bill and Hillary
Clinton could not testify in public before his Epstein investigation
committee. The G 20 international finance meeting will be held this year
at Trump's Doral Golf club in Palm Springs and he's had a 22 foot gold
statue made of himself to display. True story: They made him thinner and
got rid of his vagina neck. But Trump hasn't got it yet because he
hasn't paid for it. The art of the deal.
The
Dow finished the day over 50 thousand and the same 24 people made all
of the money. Hipster and rock stupid Republican Senator Tommy
Tuberville said he would not watch the Super Bowl halftime show because
he's never heard of Bad Bunny or "Bad Rabbit." He'll watch Kid Rock
instead. Music critics take note. Real estate millionaire Steve Witkoff
and Jared "Sonny Drysdale" Kushner met with the big turbans of Iran on
nuclear weapons negotiations. Remember, we knocked out their nuclear
facilities with "Operation Midnight Hammer" a few months ago. You mean
we didn't?
Trump
introduced his new Trump Rx pharmaceutical program which will have
savings of 500 percent. Basically they send you coupons for a variety of
obesity and weight loss drugs. Still over 100 dollars a dose. Thanks!
Dr Oz was excited about it. And the terrified Republican Senator Katie
Britt wrote an opinion piece for the New York Times in which she
described the terrible plight of white men in America. I didn't know I
had it so rough.
RIP the
great NFL quarterback Sonny Jurgensen. Years ago Sonny hurt his
shoulder in a game and was asked how he would adjust for the injury. He
answered he would drink out of his left hand now.
Enjoy the game!
Well they busted me for nothing
Cos they said I was insane
So they let my body go
But they locked away my brain