"Donald J Trump is the greatest president in American history!"
Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi 2-11-26
Last Sunday was the final game
of the NFL season and after one of the most exciting year's in recent
history it stunk like my socks from yesterday. The halftime show with
the performance by Bad Bunny, Lady Gaga, and the immortal Ricky Martin
made me run and play my copy of "Rico Suave." The far right wing Turning
Point USA All American Halftime show featured a lip syncing 55 year old
Kid Rock, who's still getting hand jobs from Lauren Boebert. In the
Puppy Bowl the Mongrels beat the Mutts. And the orange Dictatortot hates
US Olympians who don't pledge fealty to him.
On
Monday the defending MLB champion Los Angeles Dodgers announced they
were traveling to the White House to meet King Cankles. Like we needed
another reason to hate LA. Big Daddy Vladdy Putin offered the
adjudicated rapist Donnie 12 trillion dollars in imaginary investments
to hand Ukraine over to him, and America's Perfect Whore Erica Kirk was
filmed batting her invisible tears with 100 dollar bills. Sexual
assaulter Ghislaine Maxwell was summoned to testify before the House
Oversight Committee and pleaded the fifth amendment to every question.
Notorious woman beater James "Foghorn Leghorn" Comer said he was "very
disappointed." Bees make honey. Jeffrey Epstein visited the Bill Clinton
White House 17 times in the first two years of his administration, and
the famed liberal icon Noam Chomsky was also revealed to be an advisor
to Epstein. Noam's wife said her husband was over 90 years old and
cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Tuesday
3 officials from immigration and border patrol appeared at a House
hearing and told Democrats to kiss their lily white asses. Republican
Congressman Michael McCaul from Texas said all immigrants are criminals
and the Mushroom Winkie is a genius. The woman who drinks more than me
Jeanine Pirro lost her case for seditious conspiracy on the 6 Democratic
lawmakers who filmed a statement telling soldiers not to follow illegal
orders. The punch drunk harpy hasn't won a case for Pervert Hoover yet,
but give her a couple of bottles of Boone's Farm Kountry Kwencher and
she's a red hot mama.
Wednesday
was Loveless Pammy Jo Bondi day before the House Judiciary Committee
chaired by the repulsive Jim Jordan. Jordan tried 3 times to pass the
bar exam and failed. School is for sissies. Bondi pledged her loyalty to
the Pedophile in Chief and screamed for over 5 hours. I got stoned and
drank coffee, so it wasn't a total waste. Great quotes from the Attorney
General: "This is pathetic" "Don't yell at me!" "You're a loser
lawyer!" It was truly a great of a performance as Joan Crawford in
"Johnny Guitar" She would not acknowledge the rape victims sitting
behind her, but she did remind us that the stock market is making a ton
of money and she wishes she could marry a millionaire like Eva Braun
Karoline Leavitt.
On
Thursday Mushmouth Mumbles Handsome Tom Homan announced all federalized
National Guard troops were leaving Minneapolis, Minnesota but don't
believe a word because words can tell lies. The man who hasn't seen his
penis in 10 years received a trophy calling him the king of beautiful
clean coal and the EPA would no longer enforce greenhouse gas
regulations. Why should you have to smoke Tareytons to get lung cancer? A
judge ruled the alcoholic rapist Petey Kegsbreath cannot demote Senator
Mark Kelly's military ranking and cancel his pension and the Department
of Revenge admitted to spying on Democrats reviewing the Epstein files.
"For the safety of the victims." I looked out my living room window and
saw 3 pigs with wings flying.
On
Friday the Rupert Murdoch Wall Street Journal reported that companies
are paying for all of Trump's tariffs and those costs are then passed to
the consumers. Stick straw up my ass and call me a broom. The sinner
Kristi Noem said all elections are rigged and her fuck buddy Corey
Lewandowski wants a gun and a badge. License to kill!
On
Saturday it was revealed the Big Beautiful Ballroom will be twice the
size of the White House and you're not invited. Dementia Donnie told CBS
News that he doesn't like milk but he knows where it comes from.
In
sports news Lindsey Vonn broke her good leg in Olympic downhill skiing,
and the curse of having sex with Tiger Woods continues. What's a
dickfor? If you have to ask you'll never know.
Who's keeping lovers lane safe again for lovers?
Clowntime is over
~Elvis Costello~