The larger the lie the smaller the liar.
Monday was Earth Day and Donnie Trump celebrated by eating 5 Big Macs, 3 orders of freedom fries, and swilling 4 Diet Cokes. So much for breakfast.
Tuesday our favorite cross fit trainer Marjorie Traitor Greene told huckster and convicted liar Alex Jones on his Infowars podcast that the Democratic Party wants Diaper Donnie to be murdered in prison. On that same day the Tennessee legislature passed a bill that allows public school teachers to carry loaded firearms in class. They must first watch 5 episodes of Steve McQueen's epic tv show "Wanted Dead or Alive."
On Wednesday 18 aides to Your Favorite President Donnie "Tiny" Trump were indicted in Arizona for interfering in the 2020 presidential election by hiring fake electors. In true Beavis and Butthead fashion it was filmed. Among the idiots were the now famous Mark Meadows, Rudy "Whiskey and Viagra" Gulliani, and newly appointed GOP head of election security Christina Bobb. As Sonny Crockett once said on "Miami Vice" you have to know what the rules are before you can break them.
On Thursday the Joan Crawford of Arizona Kari Lake told the unshaven Steve Bannon on his podcast "War Room" that Hillary Clinton was trying to murder her. And Donnie "Ladies Man" Trump told an ABC News anchor in Philadelphia that just last week 22 rapists from "the Congo" had entered the good old USA and are looking for your teenage daughter. I will have highlights from his Honey Hush Money trial later in this dispatch.
This week's edition of "Meet The Press" was another hour of questions asked and questions not answered. First on the litany of celebrities was the Duke of Paducah, Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Every time he speaks it's as if he hasn't swallowed his mouthful of Quaker Oatmeal. Mitch the Man says it's none of our beeswax who runs Israel or Ukraine. The USA should hang tough with Ukraine, and Democrats hate Jews. Protests at universities are anti-Jewish, and we can't be isolationist. When Kristen Welker asked Mitch about abortion laws and political policies he slid down that Batpole like a 1966 Adam West screaming "State's rights!" As a true weasel, when asked about would he vote for a convicted rapist who called his wife a Chink or Uncle Joe Biden, Mitch said party over country. Mitch rapped for 2 minutes over the Republican nomination of Dwight D. Eisenhower over Robert Taft comparing isolationism over active foreign engagement in the 1952 presidential election. Holy shit Mister Peabody! Mitch knows more about things 72 years ago than yesterday's Lakers loss. But he reassured America that he will never retire. Just like Mick Jagger or George Custer.
After this pulse pounding excitement it was Democratic Senator from Virginia Tim Kaine. He was dressed Keanu Reeves casual with a simple sport jacket and an unbuttoned shirt. Don't forget he was Hillary Clinton's running mate back in 2016. It seems like every other grifter he has a book out. Unlike the surgically repaired shoot your dog in the face South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem (look it up) , his book is about discovering his soul while rafting in a kayak. I discovered mine by listening to the Bay City Rollers on my Super X headphones while doing windowpane. Kristen asked the Senator what Joe Biden can do about all the protests on campuses over Israel and the Palestinians? Tim said the totally vague thing that we should have discussions. Kristen reminded Tim that Moses Mike Johnson went to Columbia College this week and, flanked by Virginia "Shut up! Shut up!" Foxx and The Little Ball of Hate Elise Stefanik, said that his favorite song by the Gang of Four was "He'd Send In The Army." Tim said we must give missiles to Israel to bomb Palestinians, and then give Palestinians food. In short, no one has a clue. Tim did say that while being Hillary's running mate he discovered that there was a double standard between the treatment of men and women in the world of business and politics. He also found out that bricks are heavy.
During Donnie "Stinky" Trump's trial last week it was revealed that he paid David Pecker, the owner of America's finest source of news the National Enquirerer, to hide his infidelities during his 3 marriages while printing those epic exposes of "Hillary Clinton Has Brain Cancer" and ""Ted Cruz's Father Gave Lee Harvey Oswald the Rifle." And Donnie bitchs about how cold the courtroom is. And not a single member of his grifting family is there. Happy Birthday Melania and your new Mother's Day necklace that you are selling for $245 that costs $45 to make.
I can't believe the things that happen to me
I guess that I should have seen this a long time ago
~The Outfield~